Before I get into my topic for this time, let me sending out a strong wave of love and gratitude to the many readers offering healing thoughts, prayers, Reiki, and other expressions of support for my surgery on Tuesday. I believe I have the best readers, friends, clients and family in the world, but then I could be just a bit biased.
Preparing for being helpless for a couple weeks or more after my surgery has proven to be quite challenging for me. I guess, like most folks, I tend to think I am responsible for my own well-being and so seek to control my environment most of the time. Just ask my husband.
However, I wonder just how much control we really have over the circumstances of our lives. My life experience tells me that any thought of control over our circumstances is an illusion. Things happen (or don't happen) unexpectedly, like a surprise visit of a loved one at an inopportune moment. Some times what shows up is a delight and other times it is anything but what I had hoped.
Gosh, I don't even do a good job of controlling my own behavior, like when I eat beyond what my body needs. If I can't control my own behavior, what makes me think I can control outside events and the behavior of others?
So, where does the urge for control come from? Fear, I believe, is the culprit. When I ask myself what I am afraid of, it all boils down to one thing. I am afraid I will be abandoned by the Universe and that my needs will not be met unless I, alone, am capable of meeting them.
Frankly, as I process this fear and the discomfort I feel, not for the pain of the surgery, but for the subsequent disability and lack of control, I am confronted with my false belief and sheer hubris to think I am the only source of my well-being. What about all the wonderful responses from those offering support?
Is any of this speaking to you? Do you avoid asking for help, thinking that it's your job to handle everything that comes up? Do you leave your friends no way to step in and care for you? Are you afraid of appearing weak and vulnerable?
If we look back on our lives, there are many times when just the right person has been there or a beneficial event occurred that we had done nothing to create. The control we think we have over our lives is purely an illusion.
The truth is, the Universe (God, Creator, Allah or whatever you call it) has our back! It/he/she has us completely cared for because we are not apart from, but reside in, the very heart of all creation. Do I believe this is a benevolent Universe? You bet I do!
So, what's the big deal? Looking at it from another point-of-view, I am being given several weeks to swim in the wonder of how well I am being cared for by my doctor, nurses, physical therapists, my husband, my friends...and on and on. My job is to heal from within and let gratitude flow for all that will be done for me from the outside, so that I will soon be back standing tall and walking my path with greater joy and appreciation.
Incidentally, this New Moon of Taurus is a great time to begin a new relationship with your body. One reader contacted me saying she, too, is having knee replacement surgery on the same day. We are sending healing to each other and have planned a long, friendly walk after we both recover.
What new relationship with your body would you like to initiate under this Taurus New Moon? At a minimum, consider giving it appreciation for how well all the parts work together for your greater good. Oh, and don't forget the Earth. Perhaps there is a new aspect you'll discover in your relationship with the Earth. It is possible to begin anew every Spring with our relationship to Mother Nature, also ruled by Taurus.