We see you struggling with your feelings, Dearest Ones. You hold the idea in your mind that you are working your way toward the time when you will no longer have any doubt, moments of fear or even the slightest flinch or waver when you are faced with a sudden or extremely difficult situation.
Be at peace, Precious Children, we have given you numerous trainings to encourage you toward the time when you finally lay down your anxiety and your "pet neurosis" as Sanat Kumara has called it. Yes, we encouraged you to see yourselves free of all those old doubts and fears, but now we must refocus, reset our expectations, because you have so sincerely used those goals to move through old patterns. We do not want you fretting about the details, you see.
Trainings, Not Tests
Let's use some examples to help you reconsider your evaluation of yourself and your progress to date. I often use our dear daughters experiences because they have given permission to do so, if it helps others, and because they are also so sincere about their Ascension efforts. Here is one from the days when Kathryn was in training with us, just as you are now. You will think we are naughty when we tell you this, but she is still laughing about the incident. Here is what we devised to help her with these issues.
It was three o'clock in the morning, and we rang her front doorbell. Now, I must tell you she was living alone at the time, at the end of a dead end road in the country. She had never locked her doors or even thought about issues of safety because she lived on sacred land, protected by the Ancient Ones who watched over the land and of course, she was aware of the protection of her Twin Flame and the Company of Heaven as well. She awakened and went downstairs to see what was going on.
She looked out the kitchen window, observed that no one was on the front porch and surmised that if anyone was there it would have turned on the outdoor lights. She went to the front door, peered out, saw no one, opened the door to make sure it wasn't her neighbor in need, then closed the door and turned to go back to bed. One step from the door, she turned and reached back to flip the lock closed.
Within a split second she cried out "AAAGH, you got me! I flunked the test!" She was truly dismayed that we had tricked her into a split-second of "the willies" at being awakened in the middle of the night by a truly strange occurrence. She laughed, but felt crest-fallen that after all the years of training to maintain a steady sense of Faith and sureness, she faltered for a split-second. We chuckled at her impossible standards for herself and reassured her that no, in fact she had come through with "flying colors," as we were fond of telling her.
You see, we are not in the business of stringent laws and rules. We know you live in an unpredictable, difficult world. Your reflexes are conditioned to touch off alarm bells when you sense danger. What matters is how you handle the alarm bells - whether you go deeply into fear or anxiety, or whether you laugh at the situation and recenter yourself in our Light. Can you calm yourself, gently chuckle about your own foibles and falterings, and regain your balance? If so, then you have triumphed, Dear One. If you are able to ride through an incident without lashing out or freaking out, well, then, you have succeeded.
Extracting Yourself from the Clutches of Doubt
We applaud your effort and admire your first steps toward taking command of yourself, and every step of the way thereafter. Are you more skillful at maintaining your serenity than you were yesterday? We cheer for you. For instance, our beloved Luis advises his family:
"When something happens that you don't like or that causes you doubt, first, let it go. When you know you have a thought that is dark or is not aligned with the Light, just... watch it, then let it go.
You already have that inner voice that can tell you the difference, and that is the key... listen more and more to that voice and make the switch, so your daily life will be that you constantly call on the inner voice that was telling you what is dark and light.
Believe, trust in the Light, the Love, and if you make a step that for you is not okay, let it go. Do not punish yourself. It's as if a chunk of dirt got into your clean glass of water - let it go and you will still be clean. If you mess around with the dirt all your water will become dirt."
And now an insightful and sardonic excerpt from our beloved "M":
"Reading the messages... When I ask myself - Who do I have grudges with? and Who is my favorite begrudger? and Who is my favorite heckler and nay-sayer? - the answer comes back:
Uh-oh - it might be me having grudge matches with me.
No one else I know can match me for such popular daily self-heckles as: "There you go again. - You just shot yourself in the foot. - That was not your smartest move. - What a stupid thing to say. - When are you going to clean up your act? - You'll never ascend if you keep thinking like this."
And the list goes on. It's very frustrating to not be able to get out of my own way and clear out these dark thoughts and self-defeating feelings. ... (See, I'm doing it right now.)
And then I make excuses for myself like - "My Sleeper Cell must still be active - it's the implants and nano-technology activating me - it's the chemtrails and frequency attacks - the devil made me do it - blah-blah-blah."
However, in my defense, I am getting better at catching myself doing it in the moment - talking myself off the cliff - letting more of it go - and not getting suckered in when somebody else throws a snarky comment my way.
And I believe that Sananda & Co. do "have my back" - which gives me some peace of mind that if I will keep 'roto-tilling' these feelings up to the surface and releasing them, the gang upstairs will do their part to help me from slipping backwards - which keeps me motivated to not give up and keep trying.
I am an ascending work in progress."
How endearing, and how courageous he is to be so forthright about his own moments of doubt and inner struggle. You see? He is already a work in progress, ascending. We bow to his courage and his humor. He has found the secret of Ascension success: Don't take it personally.
We will now quote our dear Christine, as she describes the training she has been moving through with us. Because of her current healing work with her Arcturian team, she is receiving extra energy from her Twin Flame, Archangel Michael, who sustains her during long walks (five miles or more) to exercise her body and speed her recovery. Here is yesterday's revelation:
"I too am discovering so so much right now. We are all in a training period from the Company of Heaven (COH). Yesterday I went on my walk as directed by Michael. With three miles to go, Michael left my body! The COH stayed very close to me to ensure my safety, but I didn't know this at the time because they completely blocked my ability to see/hear/feel them, and they blocked my telepathic calls for help to Kathryn.
I was extremely weak. Sometimes every ten steps I had to sit on the Earth for strength. So many things whooshed through my head: had I misunderstood my Twin's instructions, had I displeased the COH (Can you believe I went there?!), would this set my healing back?
Each time, I centered deeply and strengthened my Pillar. I declared my trust and gratitude to my Twin and the COH. I kept going. By the time I got home to Kathryn, I was teary and fighting off doubts. We talked and talked about what this had meant. Kathryn explained that the COH wanted me to feel what most of humanity feels every single day. What?! People live feeling alone, abandoned, tricked, sad, destitute, and more!
Because I have always had deep, unshakable Faith, I have never really felt these feelings. I could only get flashes of what others regularly experience. In the midst of all circumstances, I have always felt hope and joy.
The COH used this opportunity to give me the training to see where I still have moments of doubt. I am using these lessons to shore up my Pillar, and to better understand how most people feel every day.
I am still seeing the lessons in what the Company of Heaven offered me. Eep! AND... I am going walking today!
I take the liberty to quote freely from my beloved children because it is so important that you learn from each other. These are conversations between and among close friends and family - and so, the informal and self-revealing tone, but are these not your very own thoughts and feelings? Does this shore up your faith in your own ability to keep on, to examine deeply, then laugh? Does it inspire you to then move onward and upward, allowing no self-condemnation but only compassion for yourself and your fellow travelers? After all, they too want so badly to extract themselves from the past and to move to our bright New Earth, just as you do. Perhaps it will be easier now for you to see every incident - every moment - as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and about us. This is the secret to finding joy in each precious moment of your Ascension training.
You see, Dear Ones, only you can "talk yourself off the cliff." Look to each day to be presented with new challenges, and embedded in those challenges, you will sense our fond desire to see you soar above it all. Look up. You will see us beaming down upon you, celebrating every step toward Mastery, every good effort to raise yourself up. You cannot fail at becoming you. You can succeed brilliantly if you hitch your Faith to your own inner voice, your inherent inner Light and our Love.
I am your Mother God, hand-in-hand with you and your Brothers and Sisters of the Company of Heaven.