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 WARNING: Jokes that appear in this column may not be suitable for all subscribers. Read at your own risk. A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like potato pancakes?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?" Submitted by: Steven Lytwyn Got a good joke? Send it to: john@theremyreport.com |
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 Quote of the Day
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. Josh Billings Humorous Quote of the Day
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. David Brenner
Fact of the Day (don't quote me)
Other than what is found in a few church records and legal documents and in a few contemporary documents such as playgoers' diaries, most evidence of Shakespeare's life is circumstantial. Very little is known for certain. |
| Standing Room Only | 
Let's go Back to the Future
Remembering 2004
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| Class Acts |
 | | Carl Crawford Returns |
Cheer on Crawford
The Perfect Storm
will rise again!
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Batter-Runner in Reverse
Bill P. writes: The batter bunts down the first base line, the ball is picked up by a fielder who attempts to tag the batter-runner, but the batter-runner stops half way down the base path to avoid the tag and to allow other runners to advance safely. Is it the case that batter/runner MUST continue his forward motion to first base without stopping or reversing his direction, otherwise he will called out?
Hi Bill,
In MLB, the batter-runner is allowed to stop and/or even reverse direction and head back toward home plate. The relevant constraint is that if he goes so far back as to touch home plate, he will be declared out.
I am not a softball expert, but I do recall seeing an NCAA Women's Tournament game several years ago in which the batter-runner was called out after reversing direction to avoid a tag before reaching 1st base. I do not recall if the runner from 3rd base was tagged, or scored, or ended-up back at 3rd base.
Umpire Art
Got a question for the ump?
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Have a submission for On Your Mind?
Send an email to
john@theremyreport.com
**PutOn Your Mind in the subject line - or it won't be printed!**
(I have many email filters - please use these EXACT words or it may be missed)
Bill in Coral Gables - trades are not always made for dollar value or even equal ability. Often they are made to create a better team as a cohesive unit. This includes morale, compatibillity, and work ethics. Some or maybe none may apply to the Youk decision. But there are many non tangible benefits in these transactions.
As far as the "trade" rumors started by a small minded sports mouth, we once again have a situation that spreads like wildfire because of the radical ramblings reminiscent of the Valentine/Youkilis misquote. I leave that where it should have gone at once - ignored. But on the other hand, we are 5 years too late to retrieve Hanley Ramirez. His filament is flickering.
And Phil, your opinion of Mark's ramblings are right on. I am not the most concise writer, but I feel strongly that if Mark would get to the point and move on, more people would read the entire column.
Merrimack Valley Fredd
After reading Phil from Idaho's post today, I have only one thing to say: Who are you and what have you done with the real Phil from Idaho???
P.S. I agree!
Nancy from Melrose
Hi everyone in RSN. Just wanted to add my opinions on the current state of the Red Sox. First, why are we trying to acquire Heath Bell from Miami?? The guy couldn't strike out my sister. We should've given Paps the money to stay. Valentine needs to go as well, the man has no clue what he is doing, besides the fact that I really don't think he is the one calling the shots with who plays when and where ( Luchino?). Salty needs to be playing every day, trade Shoppach for whatever you can get, or package him with Beckett and get a decent starting pitcher or two. Let Lavarnway have a chance to prove himself. Okay I'm done with my thoughts on how to improve the home team. Go Sox!!!
Bruce from Winchester
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