Dear Friend,

How do you define success for yourself?  Will you be successful when you reach a certain level at work? Make a certain amount of money?  Get married? Have a baby? Finally buy your dream home?  The truth is success looks different for each of us, but to find true happiness, researchers say you better define success by what holds real meaning in life - relationships, making a difference, and living an authentic life, for starters.  Those who chase after the next best thing are rarely satisfied, finding themselves on a never-ending hedonic treadmill.  They find short-term thrills only to be let down once the newness wears off.  Consider these five ways to define success on your own terms:

1.      Value "fulfillment" more than "success."

Success, especially in our culture, is often defined by the external - money, job, titles, and possessions.  Fulfillment is about living with purpose, using your strengths, tapping your passion.  Follow your dreams and focus on being of service. 

2.      Aim for excellence, not success.

If you live in the moment, aiming to be your best and do your best, success will surely follow.  The old adage, success is about the journey, not the destination, holds true.  In what way(s) are you focused on getting to the goal line, but not doing your best on the way there?  Start focusing on being your best in each moment and with each step, and the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that follows will leave no room for regrets.

3.      Measure it by your own standards, not society's.

Get specific.  At this stage of your life, how do you define success?  Consider the five key areas of your life - relationships, work, finances, health and spiritual.  Identify one measure in each area that will let you know you are succeeding.  For example, "praying together as a family every day" might be a spiritual measure, "saving 15% of your income" might be a financial measure, and "doing work you love" could be a measure of success at work.  Take a moment to jot down your specific measures of success right now.

4.      Ask, "What's my impact?"

One indicator of success is making a positive difference in the world.  Serving in some way is the greatest thing we can do.  "Everybody can be great because anybody can serve," Martin Luther King, Jr. once said.  How is someone's life better because they cross your path?

5.      Is my success making me a better person?

If you learn from the mistakes along the way, and persevere through the tough times, your journey to success will ultimately make you a better person.  When you face obstacles or disappointments on your journey, do you get bitter or better? 

Until next time ...

Warm wishes,