On October 23rd and 24th, Kean University's Counselor Education Department and the New Jersey Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention hosted 'Beyond Bullying: Building Schools Where Everyone Belongs,' a conference faciliated by nationally renowned bullying expert Stan Davis.

The program was designed for teachers, counselors, nurses, administrators, paraprofessionals, consultants and trainers and other educators who are working to create welcoming school environments.

After attending this special conference, NJSACC felt it was important to share some of the wonderful information they all learned.

What can we do about bullying? Here are 9 things:

• "Language creates reality." We must take a look at the current language we use regarding bullying which implies that students are the negative behavior and focuses on only one subgroup. Using words or phrases that externalize the behaviors and re-frame the student and the behavior to focus on all those that are involved.

Bullying	Bully	Victim	Bystander
Mistreatment	Person who mistreated	Person who was mistreated	Person who witnessed the mistreatment

• School needs can be assessed and plans can be developed using the "RISE" model: 
• build Resiliency, 
• encourage Inclusion, 
• Support mistreated youth, 
• implement behavior Expectations

• How can we change our actions (as professionals) to reflect student's actions? Instead of building self-esteem... we can build self-efficacy: young peoples' knowledge that their actions make a difference in their lives and others' lives.

• What mindset do we promote in our children to affect their behavior? Dr. Carol Dweck identified two mindsets: fixed and growth. A fixed mindset believes that they are good at some things and bad at others and interpret failure as a sign that they should give up. A growth mindset believes that strategy and effort matter more than ability and interpret failure as a sign that they should try harder or use a different strategy.

• When praising children, do not use "I". Start with "I notice..." It encourages independence in children in recognizing their own behavior.

• To reduce mistreatment amongst students; use smaller consequences with support. Show children consequences that they care about, those things that may have short term effects on them.

• When dealing with "mistreatment" of others: set boundaries, pre-determine consequences, allow staff to determine what and how they will accomplish goals, keep formal records/documentation of the success of interventions, allow for reflection time.

• Ways to Build Community: ask what everyone wants to see; greet everyone you see; acknowledge the outcomes of everyone's hard work; ask what is going well; allow everyone to be heard; connect people with similar interests; work towards common goals; set an example through your own behavior; share all successes-both common and rare.

• Dive into great resources to support your anti-bullying efforts:
• Web: http://www.youthvoiceproject.com
• Book: Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis
• Book: Effective Group Problem Solving by William Fox
• Book: Ostracism by Kip Williams
• Book: Self Theories and Mindset by Carol Dweck
• Web: http://freerice.com - Students practice SAT questions correctly to send grains of rice to people in need of food.
• Web: Sesame Street Resilience Project - Sesame Street is providing materials to help parents going through a separation or a divorce, as well as materials for when one parent is incarcerated.
• Book: When Brute Force Fails by Mark Kleinman