On a recent call, I recognized what for me is a striking and simple truth: the more we reflect about life and ask questions about everything, the less likely we are to implicitly follow patriarchal norms. This is true, equally, about gender norms, organizational command-and-control ways of functioning, global governance, or any other aspect of life. It doesn't surprise me that in our educational institutions there is so much focus on memorizing and so much less on the building blocks of critical thinking: asking deep questions and engaging in significant reflection to answer them freshly.

 

Today, I want to use that lens of questioning and reflecting in looking at the rich, complex, and uncomfortable topic of money. Here is my very incomplete set. What would yours be, in addition?

 

Why do we work and what's money got to do with it?

Here are some questions I gleaned from David Graeber's new book Bullshit Jobs: A Theory: Why would someone who is making a decent wage doing almost nothing get depressed? And why would prisoners prefer to do menial labor rather than sit in their cell watching TV? Why do we believe that money is the main thing we look for in searching for work? What makes purpose so important to us that, without some measure of it, we cannot find basic acceptance for our job, let alone satisfaction? (I cannot recommend this book enough, and this is only a tiny sliver of the many insights and treasures I found there. His short 2013 article will give you enough of a sense of whether you want to read the whole book.)

How does money mask our dependence on others for our most basic needs? (You can read a blog post I wrote years ago exploring this here.) How do we implicitly look to money to satisfy emotional and relational needs, like appreciation, dignity, or respect, for which there are no "goods and services" that can act as strategies? How would we ever know how much money would be just right to quantify, say, appreciation? Why do we persist in this habit of making money the ultimate measure? How does money itself contribute to confusion in relation to our needs and to how the world and relationships work? How can we unpack the relationship between money and so many other complex notions that our culture connects it to, such as deserving, fairness, value, and the like? And what's the relationship between these concepts and patriarchal norms?

 

What would it take to peel off the veil surrounding money and disentangle the question of how much of it we need for our sustainability from attempts to meet emotional and relational needs that can't be met by money? What practices can help us to get fully free so we can ask only for what we need for our sustainability, and use more effective strategies for meeting relational needs? In my recent blog post, Matching Resources to Needs, I describe the "money pile," a process for distributing money that I learned from Dominic Barter, which supports those participating in going some distance in this direction, with very moving results. How can we develop and use such processes within organizations, communities, families, and even societies? What obstacles do we encounter to doing so? What challenges do we need to overcome once we embark on it?

 

What support do we need to fully embrace the dual commitment to asking for what we know we need, and no more, and to give what we can and are willing to give, and no more? What are the questions we need to ask to get us there? If you are thinking of asking for a raise, for example, would you focus on the amount of your expenses or on the salaries of people doing similar jobs? If you are thinking of contributing to an organization you value, what questions would help you decide, freely and fully, how much to give?

 

Money at the Fearless Heart

Here are some of the questions we grapple with, regularly, at the Fearless Heart: How do we make what we do ever more accessible and support all of us who work here in having sustainable lives? What has supported so many people - 98 so far - in finding the generosity and capacity to join the Circle of Support? Or the others who choose to contribute on a one-time basis? elizaBeth Simpson, who just joined us to build community and increase resource flow, shares below some of her own thoughts on this matter in a new section called From the Team.

 

I am excited about the current configuration of our team. I have a sense that, after so many years of reaching for what would be needed to make it truly sustainable to do the work we are doing, all the pieces are in place to move smoothly forward. I am wondering if, perhaps, we are finally ready to embrace the money pile, or something like it, to collectively decide how much money we each receive to sustain our work. I am well aware that the task we have as a team, overall, is immense, and growing, as more and more actions taken by politicians and corporate CEOs continue to exacerbate the already difficult challenges our species is facing. This is all the more reason to feel so grateful for the joy of working together within a team of such high trust and mutual respect and care, and to continue to work to support and foster such collaborations at every scale I can.

 

in peace and hope,

 

Miki

 

P.S. If you want to hear more of what's been happening in the last couple of months, click here for both work and personal celebrations and mournings, including the outstanding first ever NGL retreat in Poland and more.