Your NAASCA Newsletter: for survivors / activists | February 2018
a non profit 501(c)3

Because of you, more kids are being protected,
more adult survivors served!

NAASCA has a single purpose, to address issues related to childhood abuse and trauma including sexual assault, violent or physical abuse, emotional traumas and neglect .. and we do so from two specific perspectives :

  • educating the public, especially as related to getting society over the taboo of discussing childhood sexual abuse, presenting the facts that show child abuse to be a pandemic, worldwide problem that affects everyone

  • offering hope for healing through numerous paths, providing many services to adult survivors of child abuse and information for anyone interested in the many issues involving prevention, intervention and recovery

Building a survivor community ...
because together we can do what we cannot do alone .   
Welcome to the February 2018 Newsletter

Thank you for subscribing to NAASCA's newsletter mailing list!
Please encourage others to stay in touch too.

'Love' - this month's newsletter theme

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month in the USA
  • If you or someone you know has been the victim of dating violence, free and confidential help with a trained advocate is available 24/7 through the
National Dating Abuse Helpline : 1-866-331-9474 .

Significant Dates in February:

6th International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation
  • Female genital mutilation (FGM) comprises all procedures that involve altering or injuring the female genitalia for non-medical reasons and is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and women.
  • UNFPA and UNICEF work together to lead the largest global program to accelerate the abandonment of FGM currently focusing on 17 African countries but also supporting regional and global initiatives
  • Visit the official website:

13th World Radio Day
  • Radio is specifically suited to reach remote communities and vulnerable people: the illiterate, the disabled, women, youth and the poor, while offering a platform to intervene in the public debate, irrespective of people’s educational level. Radio also has a specific role in emergency communication and disaster relief.
  • 2018's theme is "Radio and Sports." UNESCO calls on all radio stations to showcase sports in all of its diversity and its connection to cultural heritage, sharing inspiring stories that challenge gender stereotypes and cover both sexes equally.

20th World Day of Social Justice
  • Observances should support efforts in poverty eradication, the promotion of full employment and decent work and access to social well-being and justice for all.
  • Promoting gender equality, the rights of indigenous peoples and migrants, and removing barriers that people face because of gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion, culture or disability.
  • The United Nations recently adopted the International Labour Organization of the Declaration on Social Justice for a Fair Globalization

What's New with NAASCA?
Let's see if we can get this hashtag to trend, to build on the 'MeToo' movement that leaves out those abused in their youth.

Childhood sexual assaults and abuse are devastating!

Pass it on!! Please SHARE these hashtags together on your social media accounts.

~ Bill Murray , NAASCA CEO
CSA = Childhood Sexual Abuse
When Love Hurts as a Child it's Hard to Love as a Survivor
(by Misty Livingston)

What is love? Many times people only recognize love as an emotion, but love is a lot more than what we feel. Like all emotions we experience, love actually starts in our brain as a thought, then spreads to the physical world through our actions, and then produces emotional feelings. To experience the feeling of love, the first step is to be mentally aware of someone's need or mood, then make a choice to do something to validate that mood or fill that need, and when we see the positive reaction we begin to feel the emotion of love. This is true not only of loving another person, but also of loving our self. When a child is abused or neglected, love is not experienced in a healthy normal way. A parent who ignores a child's need for food or affection or withholds it as a punishment. A person the child trusts who violates them sexually. Being told constant negative messages and being made to feel worthless or unheard. Being physically injured by those who are supposed to love you. These experiences can make it hard for an adult survivor to recognize what positive healthy love is, or how to express it in appropriate ways to others.

One of the most well known theories about love was written by famous author C.S. Lewis. In her book The Four Loves, she writes a fictional story showing examples of the four different types of love she says all humans possess:

  • Agape – unconditional love which can be like a spiritual connection, often explained by the love for one's children or for/from a higher power. It is important for survivors to learn to love their own self in this unconditional way, regardless of any past behaviors, failures, denial of love from others, etc. 

  • Storge – (pronounced store-ray) having a bond, like family that forms through familiarity as a feeling of fondness. It can be toward actual family members or toward people who relate in familiar ways that we initially met by chance. One example is the connection a survivor may feel with other survivors through empathy. The circumstances we have gone through are all different, but many of the emotions we felt are the same and we can relate to them. Feeling an accepted, validated, supported, and loved part of the group is why we refer to our collective members as our NAASCA Family.

  • Philia- a brotherly or friendship love that is a strong bond existing between people who share common values, interests or activities and feels like companionship. Survivors need to be careful not to confuse philia relationship with the expectations we would have from an agape or storge relationship. Expecting a friend to prioritize you over their family or their spiritual beliefs is not reasonable and will only lead to feelings of rejection or a false sense of betrayal.       

  • Eros- a romantic or passionate love that includes sexual attraction but is not only about sex. Understanding this type of love as a survivor is critical and it is not possible to have healthy Eros love until the other three are mastered.

Whether it was physical, sexual, or emotional, childhood abuse causes problems with giving and receiving love later in adult relationships. Survivors often have developed a belief that people can not really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and that private thoughts and feelings should be guarded. These beliefs were useful for the abused child to survive, but become instincts that make forming healthy loving attachments as an adult difficult. Sometimes survivors may pursue abusive or unhealthy relationships because of unresolved childhood trauma as a way to revisit those early experiences hoping to change things "this time." However, until a survivor has first resolved trauma issues within him/her self, this will only result in a continuation of the cycle of abuse in their adult lives.

After having problems with relationships it is not surprising that many survivors tell themselves they are damaged, not good enough, and unworthy of someone's love. Thoughts like these cause serious relationship issues throughout life, but it is not hopeless! There are things that can be done to change the way we think, feel, and respond to improve our relationships and overall well being.

  • Therapy can be a life changing tool for healing, but the wrong therapy can actually cause more damage. It is important to find a trauma-informed therapist who can teach how trauma impacts you as a survivor and how to process your thoughts and emotions in healthier ways. If you are not sure where to start, the Trauma Institute & Child Trauma Institute have published an excellent guide to help you Find a Good Trauma Therapist.

  • Psychoeducation is taking time to learn about the nature of trauma, self-care and healing techniques like mindfulness. You can do this through personal research in books or online, by taking a workshop or lecture, or signing up for a class. Many of these resources are listed for free to survivors of abuse, and a good starting point is the Recovery Page of the NAASCA website or events listed on social media by local organizations that offer services to survivors.

  • Support groups for survivors are also helpful. NAASCA provides a huge list of English speaking groups from all around the globe, and also a separate list for internet-based recovery groups. Visit the Groups and Services Page of our website to find a group that will work for you. We also offer online support through our Public Facebook Group.

Have You Listened to NAASCA's BlogTalk Radio Show Lately ?
Live shows air 8 PM EST / 5 PM PAC .

Listen in on Sunday for 'Community Matters,' and Monday-Friday for 'Stop Child Abuse Now' (SCAN).

Topics include public safety, child abuse prevention and intervention, and recovery as a survivor of child abuse.
We would LOVE to hear from you !

Your voice matters to us and to those listening! We encourage ALL of our NAASCA Members to participate during the live shows with questions and comments or just to listen in by phone. The number to call is:

( 646) 595-2118

Want to be a Special Guest on the Show ?

Every Wednesday and Friday night we have a special guest on the show. This is often an opportunity for a survivor of abuse to share their story, but we have also had non-survivors who support our cause speak. You will never be asked to share more than you are comfortable sharing.

This is also a great opportunity for you to share resources and information to help other survivors or and advocate for support. Some examples might be about a relevant book you have published, a blog or website you devote to related issues, an organization you work for that supports survivors or prevention of child abuse, a campaign you are running to raise awareness or support, etc.

If you would like more information on being a guest on our show, please contact Bill Murray via email at:
Monthly Spotlight On A Fabulous NAASCA Volunteer !

In 2015 NAASCA officially became a non-profit charity. NAASCA relies on all their members who volunteer to make it possible for NAASCA to currently offer over 30 Entirely FREE Services , programs, tools, resources, and social media efforts available to anyone, anywhere in the world, anytime. 

We want to highlight our primary volunteers who offer their skills and creativity with ongoing commitment to specific tasks . This month we are delighted to introduce Tammy Shoffstall !!
Meet Tammy Shoffstall
(Pompano Beach, Florida)

Tammy Shoffstall volunteers as the Treasurer for NAASCA and is frequently a host or panelist for our Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) Online Streaming Radio Show . Tammy is the proud mother of two children, April and Trevor, who she proudly describes as "her world." She is a survivor of physical, verbal, emotional, mental, and attempted sexual abuse. Other than her children, her greatest supporters are her NAASCA family and her special friend Eve Cawley who was the first person to give validation when Tammy shared her story of abuse. Tammy had at one point dropped out of high school, but later went back to school earning her AA, BA, and MA in Management and Leadership, and is currently only 3 credits shy of earning her Doctorate in management! In addition to her volunteer work with NAASCA, she is a Hotelier by trade and works as the Director of Finance/Controller for luxury hotels. One of her passions is an impressive collection of arrowheads and artifacts, and she also enjoys searching thrift stores to aquire paintings.

How did you first become a member of NAASCA?
" I met Bill Murray (CEO) in 2013, when I responded to a person's post who was struggling with issues from child abuse. Bill provided great advice, and I sent Bill a friend request. Over the next few years, my friendship and participation with NAASCA grew. "

What do you enjoy most about volunteering with NAASCA:
" I enjoy helping other people find their healing pockets in their journey of recovery. Healing from the effects of abuse is a path that can be painful and joyful. There is no greater joy for me, than to see the progress of someone who has endured such pain, yet has learned how to smile again, understand the abuse was not their fault, and begin helping others heal. I think of my friend who endured abuse along with her sister who did not survive. When I see this friend smile, my heart smiles too. I know what I am doing matters when she writes me and tells me great things going on in her life. "
Tammy Shoffstall

What does your work week with NAASCA involve?
" NAASCA is a huge part of my life. I reside in the headquarters of NAASCA in Pompano Beach, FL. I publish the hosting schedule for the radio show, and participate in the show an average of 3 times weekly. I maintain the financials for NAASCA and serve as an administrator for the Facebook sites by monitoring and participating in posts. "

Tammy discusses how love is important to recovery as a survivor of child abuse:
" Understand the different kinds of love, and always remember to love yourself. Everyone deserves love, especially from one's self. Child abuse survivors often learn a distorted understanding of love because of abuse. Sexual abuse confuses survivors because it confuses Ero love with Agape and Storge love. "

( Note : See the above article 'When Love Hurts as a Child it's Hard to Love as a Survivor.' which was inspired by Tammy frequently sharing the concepts of C.S. Lewis with NAASCA.)

Tammy continues , " Physical and emotional abuse often causes survivors to equate love with pain. Love should not be painful, but for survivors love is often very painful. "

How has being a survivor of child abuse yourself played a part in your role with NAASCA?
" Volunteering for NAASCA is a very large part of my life, and ties into my life's mission of helping adults recover from child abuse, support the survivor community, and help to bring awareness to child abuse in the general public. "

To contact Tammy about her work with NAASCA, or just send your love and ask about her awesome art and artifact collections, send your emails to:
Want to find out some of the many different ways
YOU can get involved?

Have You Browsed the Prevention and Intervention
Page of NAASCA's Website?

This section of our web site is devoted to offering a wide array of relevant news and information to inform survivors and the general community on how to become more engaged and committed to helping those currently suffering from child abuse.

Here is some of what you will find:

  • articles on how to recognize child abuse

  • advice on how to teach kids child safety and abuse prevention

  • information for parents, educators, mentors, caregivers, and professionals

  • resources for organizing and involving your community

  • links to websites for advocacy groups with support and information

We Need YOU for our Ambassador Program !!
NAASCA has many open positions for Volunteer Ambassadors and Regional Directors in the Canadian provinces and the 50 US states! This is a very easy way to get involved and the position is very flexible for you to work within whatever time you have available .

Ambassadors will help NAASCA members find their way around our web site, refer people to our projects, tools, and services, and engage in our social media efforts. You will also become familiar with resources specific to your local area to provide upon request to NAASCA members. 
A Note from Our Founder and CEO:
Healing from child abuse and trauma can be a very lonely journey .. but you'll never be alone again, a day at a time, if you don't want to be !!
NAASCA belongs to no other group and receives no outside funding. We're self-supporting through our own members' voluntary contributions.
Please consider a one time
or recurring donation .
Thanking you for all you do in the fight against child abuse and trauma and welcoming you to engage with your NAASCA family, I remain, as always,

Yours in service,

Bill Murray , Founder and CEO
National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.   
NAASCA | a 501(c3 | 323 / 552-6150 | |