December 2019
...connections, solutions & possibilities
If you are into personal development, improving relationships and creating forward movement in your life, you are on the right email list.
In this Newsletter...
  • Relationships & Communication Domains
  • Winter Solstice Sound Meditation Dec. 12th
  • 2nd Flute Album released!
  • My YouTube Channel Update

There is the story of the little girl who was the only child at the Christmas dinner table full of adults. All of a sudden, she blurts out "pass the damn salt!" You can image that this got a swift and quick response from mom, dad plus looks of disapproval from aunts, uncles and grandparents (although I am sure there was at least one adult stifling their laughter). She was quickly taken from the table, reprimanded and put in time out. Only later that evening did they realized the recorder had been left on and captured the table talk. The little girl could be heard politely asking for the salt ten times before she blurted out, "Pass the Damn Salt!"

Listening and effective communication becomes even more central as we navigate multiple expectations during this time of year. This season of serial holidays creates opportunities for joy, fun and play. But unfulfilled expectations quite often enter the mix.

Communication happens on a playing field that includes much more than the content of our words. Many of you have probably witnessed a person saying they are not angry as they stand across from you with their jaw and fists clenched.

  • Who hasn't shown up for a party on time only to discover that the stated time really means things don't get going for another hour and a half!

  • Have you ever communicated with the intention of getting closer to someone only to be rebuffed for being too smothering?

  • Maybe you made a suggestion to change up the holiday tradition and bumped into, "that's not the way we do things around here!"

In my early training as a therapist, I encountered the concept of Communication Domains at The Kantor Family Institute (Kantor and Lehr “Inside The Family). They researched healthy families and concluded that the goal of all interactions could be categorized within three areas of Power/Action, Connection and Meaning.

Three Different Goals of Communication and Interaction

Meaning (Head)  – communication seeks to deal with issues of identity and provide a framework for understanding reality. The playing field is thought, beliefs, values, vision and purpose. Jesus statement in his Sermon on the Mount  “You are the salt of the earth…” is a statement to his audience about their identity, value and purpose. As a child, whenever I heard my father say "that is not how the Carpenter's behave," (not only did I know I was in trouble) but it was also a road map for our families values and identity.

Action (Power)  – seeks movement and focuses on “how things get done.”  It isn't necessarily about having power over someone (although it can be). Whenever folk are talking about who is going to do what, when is it going to happen and how will it done; the goal is about power and action.

When I started driving the family car at age 16, Dad had a rule that the driver was responsible for the car. That meant if a passenger left the door open when I was driving, I had to go back out and close the door. When I was a senior in High School, Dad drove us home after playing tennis. He parked the old Chrysler on the curb and we walked into the house together. Dad noticed I had left my car door open. "Greg, go shut your door. You left it open." Standing in front of the doorway, I looked down at the car way down at the bottom of the hill and then at my father and said, "Dad, you remember the rule? The driver is responsible for the car." He just looked and me - smiled and I went down to close the door. We both had a good laugh later at the exchange. Sometimes power and action gets communicated non verbally!

Connection (Heart)  – the target of communication is to seek nurture, caring, belonging and intimacy. The playing field is around feelings, sensations, providing and receiving caring interactions. If you aren't familiar with Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, I suggest you go over to this link and read my summary. Love Languages is ways we communicate our affection and love. click here for Love Languages

I think this can be hard for many folk. Asking directly for more connection, requires you to be vulnerable and risk rejection (which can trigger many past experienced of failed attempts).

In my own experience and as a therapist, I have observed that people have their own unique preference. They are usually more comfortable in one of the three domains over the others. This is also true for families and organizations. They each tend to have a preferred interaction domain.

Communication Domains is a helpful concept for understanding you own communication dynamics at work, home or within all relationship organizations. It is helpful for managing differences and conflict. When one person is targeting connection and the other is focused on getting things done (power) we have a "crossed purpose" communication. Recognizing that can make a big difference in creating a course correction in how you communicate.

My hope for you all is that in the mad rush to get stuff done, there is time to really listen, connect with loved ones and find deeper meaning in you traditions and rituals.
Many Blessings!

“Winter Solstice Sound Meditation”

As our Holiday Gift to you, Jessica and I are making this event by donation.

Jessica Kozak, owner of The Soul Purpose is changing up the annual Christ Light Meditation by joining forces with Greg Carpenter who will also be doing an amazing Sound Healing Bath with Gongs, Flutes and Singing Bowls. The Sound Bath will begin at 8 pm and last for 45 min. The I am Guided Meditation by Jessica begins at 7 pm.

Come join Jessica and Greg during the Holiday season for a powerful guided meditation to connect to the I AM Presence followed by an amazing Sound Healing Bath.

MEDITATION begins promptly at 7pm
COST: By Donation

Date: Thursday December 12th 7 pm - 8:15 pm
Location: The Soul Purpose 1225 GAR Hwy, Swansea, Ma,
"Sonic Explorations: A Meditative Journey with Native Flutes and Crystal Singing Bowls"

In October I released my first Native American Flute album "Passages." Well I have been on a roll and want to announce that my second album is up and ready for download by clicking on Sonic Explorations . You can listen and sample for free, but with a purchase you get a bonus download of a very brief guided meditation set to flute music titled "All Is Well." All these recordings are live and edited by yours truly

This was a result spontaneous planning. Kristen of Quantum Health and Wellness mentioned she had a date open up and wondered if I wanted to do a sound bath. I said how about teaming up and doing and all flute and bowls meditation. We both liked the idea and thus our first collaboration on a Flute & Singing Bowl Sound Meditation was born. We gathered at Kristin's Center and were more than pleased with the meditative effect from the drone of her multiple singing bowls and a variety of different native flutes. This album "Sonic Explorations" is a live recording from this event.

The Sound Meditation has the drone from eight different crystal singing bowls flowing underneath the a variety of different Native American Flutes.
My Sound Meditation
YouTube Channel

67 subscribers 33 more to go to hit 100!
My most recent Sound Bath recording is online at click here. It is 57 minutes of Gongs, Singing Bowls, Rain Stick, Thunder Tube and Flutes. I think you will find it very relaxing and meditative.

Thanks for those who have subscribed. If you haven't checked out my YouTube Channel you will find the link below

Why am I smiling in this photo. Because I am playing in the back yard, recording nature's orchestra of relaxing sounds. I have finally began to crack the Audacity code for editing auditory files. Also learning how to mix nature sounds with different ambient sound tracks. The other night, I set up my recorder to catch the frogs and peepers from the pond next door. This recording by itself is very relaxing and great for quieting the mind as you fall off to sleep. I can't wait to mix it with guided meditations, flute recordings or my singing bowls.

Please feel free to respond with request of different recordings or what you would like to hear. Currently, I am looking to create some guided meditation recordings along with some specifically designed to help with going to sleep.
All of this has led to creating my own YouTube Channel. If you are looking for recordings of relaxation and brainwave entrainment music, then my YouTube channel may be worth visiting. Flute, Hand Drums, Didgeridoo, Himalayan Singing Bowls and Gongs (among other instruments to numerous to name) make up the harmonic recordings. 

Please consider subscribing to my channel. A benefit to you is getting the latest uploads. Benefit to me is when I get 100 subscribers I will be provided with my own URL.

My YouTube Channel Here is the link - click here.

Love and Light to Everyone...

Greg Carpenter LMFT | Phone 401.265.2951| | Greg at Zencare