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August, 2023

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Did you Know?

The dog days of summer actually refer to Sirius (the Dog Star) which is part of the constellation, Canis Major (the Greater Dog), which began its ascent after the summer solstice. The ancients noticed Sirius (which means "scorching"), the brightest star in the night sky, rising during the hottest period of the year, and called this time, "dog star days."

Dear Molly,

It's been a busy month, rich with insights for me.

Which means that this old dog has been learning new tricks in the dog days of summer!

I've continued studying at Georgetown, coaching, giving presentations, writing, and sailing. What was unique about this month was a fabulus trip to Maine to sail a classic wooden boat in a regatta.

Read on to learn what I've been discovering.

Molly

Learning New Tricks

Are you surprised I made a connection between thoughts and sailing? Click to find out how! Photo by Patrick Shaughnessy

Thoughts That Serve Us Well (and those that don't)

In our July module at Georgetown, we explored thoughts and the impact they have on the results we get in all aspects of our lives. I learned the acronym "RAFT" as a way to remember to look at our results, influenced by our actions, influenced by our feelings, triggered by our thoughts.

During this discussion we discussed the thoughts in our own lives that do not serve us well. I was deeply impacted by hearing how many of my fellow female coaches felt inhibited professionally. These are women who are empowered and enlightened, and yet they still feel gender pressures. The themes they shared were:

Needing to prove oneself, or always have an answer.
Not playing “big” because it will make others uncomfortable.
Being deferential and polite, especially with male leaders.
Feeling like an imposter.

It is devastating for me to hear this and I feel more compelled than ever to help leaders of both genders create more empowering spaces for everyone, using what I have learned and what I will continue to learn.

The niece of someone I have been studying with put it well:

“The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, and our brain creates a life that matches the language we use. Too often that means women in particular find themselves in positions where their very existence feels like an imposition; where their simple presence needs permission and apology. We need to challenge one another to expand our vocabulary in ways to empower, rather than apologize to our own diminishment.”

-Dr. Rebecca Heiss

An interesting take on the vocabulary of diminishment was published in the New York Times last month.

There is a lot in here about how effective it can be for women to use a different vocabulary.

What vocabulary works for you? What thoughts serve you well? What results in your life do you want to change? What narratives are behind them? What is the new narrative you need to tell yourself?

The Impact of Stress on Problem-Solving

While working with two different clients, I came across a pattern that was not so surprising when you understand what is going on. Both clients felt backed into a corner, with limited, polarized, choices. They both were emotionally charged, in periods of stress. Put simply, stress taxes our brains so that we do not have the mental bandwidth to solve problems as effectively as we normally do. How does it work and what can we do about it? Read more.

Our start from Castine. Photo by Kathy Mansfield

Lessons from Maine

And about that trip to Maine.

If you follow my personal accounts on social media, you will know that I referred to all the wooden boat "eye candy" as a "drool fest." I felt incredibly grateful and privileged to be a part of this amazing event, with wooden boats dotting the horizon alll around us.

It reminded me of a trip to Brest, France, in 1998, when I worked in development for the Pride of Baltimore II, She had been not just invited, but paid, to come to a wooden boat festival in Normandy, where our captain was interviewed on a French national prime time television show, and she was literally the "belle of the ball." After the public event in Brest, there was a race from Brest, around Pointe de Penhir and Cap de la Chevre, to Douarnanez, on the southeast part of the Baie de Douarnanez in the Celtic Sea.

Despite my status as on office member, the captain of the Pride knew I could sail, and so I got to take the wheel while the crew was busy flying all of the sails. Our honorary guest for the day, the mayor of Brest, was also my charge as I spoke enough French to chat with him. While I made sure to head in the proper direction, keep the sails filled, and avoid the boats around us, he shared gossip with me on various boats, their history, and the personalities involved. I was enthralled, looking at wooden boats of all shapes and sizes, all making their way around the point to the "seafarar's fest" that would take place in the smaller village in Dournanez. There were boats everywhere, near and far, and it was a sight I have never forgotten.

The Eggemoggin Reach Regatta in Maine, and the feeder races leading up to it, were just as spectacular. Classic wooden boats, designed and buily by legends, representing tradition, a shift from utility to beauty, a legacy of self-sufficiency, the skills of boatbuilding, sailmaking, and navigating all without electricity and electronics, seamanship, and a respect for craftsmanship that keeps 100-year-old boats not just intact but saliing and racing.

There were lots of things I learned during that trip, and only one that I have written about (so far). The culture of this races was very different from what I normally experience on the racing circuit. What drives culture, and how can you impact it? Read more.

What are you learning this summer?

How are you becoming a better leader?

How authentic is your leadership style?

Take the quiz!

Enjoy Life's Riches.

uncover the pearls within

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