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February, 2023

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Did you Know?

When we perceive a problem to be a moral dilemma, we spend so much more mental energy on it that we have less creative energy to look for compromises and tend toward extreme solutions.

Dear Molly,

February provides a great opportunity to establish consistency and stability in our lives. With only one long weekend, it's the perfect time for structure - something that can be both freeing and fulfilling when approached with intention!

Now is an optimal moment to welcome positive changes into your life and cultivate creativity as we wait for Spring breaks. Make this month count by creating some genuine "February Fabulousness"!

Molly

Insights

Communications Dilemmas

Giving negative feedback and bad news is hard. And psychologically, we are amazingly good at rationalizing why we shouldn’t cause someone else harm when we are actually trying to avoid causing ourselves pain. Understanding this helps us be both honest and kind.

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Floating Around the Reef

Be A Goldfish

Sailing with a new group of people at the beginning of the month taught me a lot, as you might expect. The format had us racing a number of short races back-to-back. Our skipper was an excellent driver, great at making quick decisions on a very dynamic starting line.

In between races, when we needed to reboot, she kept reminding herself to "be a goldfish."

From Ted Lasso:

“What’s the happiest animal in the world?” asks Lasso of a player who can't get over a bad move.

“Goldfish,” Lasso replies. “You know why the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth?”

“Got a 10 second memory,” answers Lasso.

“Be a goldfish,” says Lasso, sending the player out onto the field.

So, whether you need to reboot and "shake it off" like an athlete, or you need to forgive yourself for something that you've already atoned for, "Be a goldfish."

And if you haven't seen Ted Lasso, I highly recommend it.

Higher Powers

"The Tools" is a New York Times bestseller that was recommended to me by someone I really respect. The sutbitlte is "Five tools to help you find courage, creativity, and willpower - and inspired you to live life in forward motion." Buying into these tools requires faith in what the authors call "higher forces."

From what I can tell, opinions are diverse on this book. To some it's revolutionary, while others find something profoundly resonant with the ideas and practices presented - myself included. While they have potential to be truly groundbreaking perspectives on evidence-based approaches that could turn things upside down in an amazing way; at present these concepts are not as tested as I would prefer and remain anecdotal.

This has led me to another book, "The Awakened Brain," by Lisa Miller, Ph.D. Dr. Miller has proven with MRI imaging that our drive for spirituality has a neurological basis. And that tapping it can benefit us. According to Dr. Miller, "When we engage these perceptual capacities — when we make full use of how we’re built — our brains become structurally healthier and better connected, and we access unsurpassed psychological benefits: less depression, anxiety and substance abuse; and more positive psychological traits such as grit, resilience, optimism, tenacity and creativity.”

Together, one being evidence-based and one not, they lead us on the path toward the "rapture of being alive" that Joseph Campbell so eloquently describes. And I do love the rapture of being alive!

What are your thoughts? Email me!

What we are seeking is the rapture of being alive.

Joseph Campbell

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