November 12, 2025

November is a time to show support and honor our nation’s vital caregivers.

“Families are often the primary source of support for older adults and people with disabilities. In fact, today in America, more than 53 million family caregivers provide unpaid care — an economic value totaling more than $470 billion.”

— National Council on Aging

We are dedicating this newsletter to: Caring for loved ones with dementia or cognitive impairment:  “A Positive Approach”

We can help loved ones with dementia or cognitive impairment continue to participate in meaningful activities and relationships. Especially within the family setting.

Here are some important advice from two well-known and appreciated practitioners in the field—a Medical doctor and an Occupational Therapist:

Dr. Elizabeth Landsverk

Board-certified in Internal, Geriatric, and Palliative Care Medicine. From an article from AARP, April 6, 2022:

“Finding Joy With Dementia”

Dr. Elizabeth Landsverk wrote the book Living in the Moment: A Guide to Overcoming Challenges and Finding Moments of Joy in Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias by Elizabeth Landsverk, M.D., with Heather Millar. 

Here are some important points from the article (and the book):

How Family Caregivers Can Find Joy Through Understanding Dementia

Learning more about the disease can open up new avenues for happiness and connection:

Understanding

Understanding what brought joy and then modifying those activities as the situation changes is one of the fundamental tenets of finding happiness with that person, according to Dr. Landsverk. They may no longer be able to paint pictures, but perhaps they can make collages. Eating out at a restaurant might result in an angry scene, but a picnic could be a lovely substitute,” offers Landsverk. “A night at the ballpark might no longer be possible, but maybe walking around the ballpark before a game or engaging your loved one in a game of dominoes with others could be pleasurable.”

Finding New Joy

Even for people who are no longer verbally responsive, there are ways to enjoy aspects of human interaction and experiences through touch or music. Music is particularly powerful, and our memories of songs reside in a slightly different part of our brains than words. Landsverk has observed people who cannot answer questions sing church hymns perfectly, bringing joy and comfort to all. 

The Joy of Connection

Even for people who are no longer verbally responsive, there are ways to enjoy aspects of human interaction and experiences through touch or music. Music is particularly powerful, and our memories of songs reside in a slightly different part of our brains than words. Landsverk has observed people who cannot answer questions sing church hymns perfectly, bringing joy and comfort to all. 

Living in the Now

“Living in the ‘now’ with your loved one means you can still enjoy good times together,” says Landsverk. She points out that for some, the quality of family life and the depth of relationships can even improve with dementia. The father, who was always busy working, now has time for his family; the son is able to spend more time talking with his mother. “Life can continue to bring love, joy, and fulfillment.”

Dr. Teepa Snow, Occupational Therapist

Known for her “Positive Approach to Care”

🎥 Watch: “A Positive Approach to Dementia Care”

Occupational therapy (OT) can help with many of the common problems for caregivers. Occupational therapists work with patients and their loved ones to offer practical advice and techniques for better and healthier day-to-day living.

Teepa offers a “skill-focused, practical dementia education” in 3 steps: 

1. Understand how dementia affects the brain and the way the person perceives you and their surroundings
2. Connect in ways that take into account the person’s changed perceptions
3. Enjoy Meaningful Caring and Improved Relationships
4. Every day and experience increased harmony and quality of life for everyone involved

Here are some stories caregivers have shared with me, using understanding, insight, and acceptance to live well caring for family members with dementia — cognitive impairment.  

Annie’s story:

"Here are some reflections on my caregiver journey I’d like to share with other caregivers. I retired in 2014 from a teaching career and was looking forward to traveling around the world. I got to take cruises to the Bahamas, the Caribbean, and Alaska—and also to travel to Vietnam, Israel, and Mexico.  

However, my life changed when my husband suddenly fainted in the kitchen on September 20, 2020. Several hospitalizations later… I am now his full-time caretaker. I went from an active lifestyle of going freely on my own — to a lifestyle of taking care of all our household and family needs and my husband’s personal needs as well. 

Before his dementia diagnosis we were quite independent of each other. But he did most of the work managing our finances, maintaining our house, and, of course, taking care of himself. So much changed, so quickly! But on the positive side, he changed into a person who is more mellow and willing to follow what I decide now.

So I picked up the pieces that he could no longer do—to keep our household and family together. And where before I planned wonderful activities and trips for just myself, I now began to find activities and much smaller trips for us both. Where before he wasn’t interested in doing what I was doing, now he comes along willingly.  

To keep myself sane, I began to check in with the Senior centers close to my house to find activities and resources. Here are just some of the things I found to help me: Online - DayBreak caregiver support group; Respite program from El Cerrito Community Center where my husband goes once a week for 5 hours; An in-home caregiver to help me from the Jewish Community Center for 4 hours a week; And I just recently started my husband in another respite program in Richmond for another 4 hours per week. These activities give me a break and more social activities for my husband. People at the El Cerrito Community Center told me how much better my husband is compared to when he first joined the group—calmer and more interactive.

Together now, we take field trips, classes, and social events that I find from Senior centers, Facebook, and flyers. I participate in events with the Lions Club, Odd Fellow Lodge, Hercules Chinese Association and local church groups in which I am a member. I take my husband to all the events, like meetings, dinners and outings. 

Yes, life is not the same as before, but I am thankful that my husband is still alive and we are still together. I treasure every little thing I have now, as each moment does not come easy; it is that moment you still own and you are the boss to make the most out of it. It is during difficult times that you find angels around you and that you are not alone. I was not a religious person before, but after what I have gone through with my husband, I have to admit that I have to submit my life to God's plan, not my own. Then I will see light at the other end of the Tunnel."

Netty and Dave’s Story:

"In the face of my husband’s medical and physical challenges, together we have found shared goals and a deeper connection. Here’s one aspect of our story I want to share with other caregivers: Helping my husband, Dave, with physical exercise!

Dave has had two mild strokes and two hip fractures since 2019, which affected his ability to walk, as well as his speech and swallowing. He had to work hard to recover each time. Additionally, Dave has been on kidney dialysis since 2012, and now he goes to a hemodialysis clinic three times a week, where he is attached to a machine for more than four hours straight. 

When Dave was in the hospital, my friend, a physical therapist, came and taught us ways we could work on his mobility. That gave us hope. Afterward, Dave received physical therapy routines from the home health and out-patient PT. Because I wanted to be sure he could continue to walk and to get up out of the dialysis chair, I committed to leading him in his physical therapy routine before lunch each dialysis day. We do most of the exercises together. Our routine is about 45 minutes.  

At first I seriously resisted adding this “job” into my caregiving duties. But soon the exercise routine became a wonderful positive activity both for his health and for our relationship! Although Dave hasn’t recovered all of his ability from before the strokes, he has gradually become stronger and more able, and his mind has been clearer too. We both feel better after we do the exercises, and they have become a sweet bond between us.

Our exercise routine has actually become a vehicle for something deeper, bigger than the words I find to say it: I feel it has become an expression of our love. I feel Dave’s caring for both of us in his commitment to the exercises, and I assume he feels my love in it, too. I was surprised and delighted one rainy day lately when, on a nondialysis day, he asked to do them. Honestly, our physical therapy routine has become one of the most powerful healing and joyful forces in our lives these days! In some ways, it has become a new language we share."

It’s not always easy to stay positive. Everyone has times when life feels too difficult. Or you just feel like you’re not doing enough. “Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs in the world.” But also one of the most rewarding.

Check out some of our very helpful newsletter and webinars on how Caregivers can get support from other care givers on this journey: https://www.daybreakac.org/webinar-newsletter

It isn’t easy to be fully present, especially when the reality of seeing a loved one declining and possibly suffering is so painful to caregivers. But being present is essential to creating an emotional connection. Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing and meditation, are often used to help people live in the moment, rather than from task to task. A simple way to become more mindfully present is with the 5 Senses Exercise, during which individuals intentionally and sequentially take notice of what they are seeing, hearing, feeling, touching, and smelling.

Caregivers can also modify this exercise by asking themselves to imagine what their loved one is seeing, hearing, feeling, touching, and smelling at the moment or, better yet, inquiring closely about it. It is by embracing care receivers’ experiences that caregivers draw closer, feel true empathy, and create long-lasting tenderness.

Picking Your Battles as a Dementia Caregiver

https://alzheimersdisease.net/living/picking-battles

— Susan Musicant, DPT

Injury Prevention Specialist at DayBreak

Know a church, place of worship, or organization that would be interested in starting a Memory Care Cafe? 

The Memory Care Café (MCC) pilot program brings together family caregivers and their loved ones living with memory loss to support wellbeing, social connection, and community. Click Here to learn more!

Complete online application/interest form by November 30th, 2025:

• Online Application

Your support provides safety and stability for seniors in need, helping them stay connected and securely housed in our communities. Let’s continue to spread the love together!

If you know an elder in need of our care and coordination services, or a caregiver seeking support, please encourage them to reach out to us at: 

510-834-8314