A Personal Note

Do you recognize this toy?

It's a Lite Brite!

This is a toy I used to play with decades ago. I bought one recently on a whim and have been enjoying something I'd like to do more of; play*.

If you couldn't already tell, this scene is a creation of my own. It's maybe the 3rd thing I created on the screen. The package came with some image guides, which felt safer than winging it. Out of character, I went with winging it, just to see what would happen.

This might seem like a small simple choice, to not use the guide to create, but it's big for me. The choice is helped me work through feelings of wanting to get things 'right' the first time. As I added the pegs to the board, I felt anxiety, and noticed my self-talk; this looks like a mess!

I kept going, I noticed what colors I liked together, and played with patterns and shapes. Then slowly, something started to take shape, something I liked. I don't quite know what it all is, (the pink on top I wanted to be a kite) but it's my creation and reminds me about the process of creating; it can (and often is) messy and uncomfortable and takes time to develop into something you are pleased with and if you are open, you can learn about yourself along the way.

*Play is an idea Brene Brown writes about in her book, "The Gifts of Imperfection"

COUPLES CORNER

Prepare/Enrich

4 Big Reasons to Stop Avoiding the Issue

You don’t want to rock the boat. It’s probably not that big of a deal. Maybe you’re overreacting. You’ll bring it up another time.

It’s easy to come up with lots of reasons to avoid bringing up an issue with your spouse. Most people don’t want to start a fight or cause conflict when things seem to be rolling along smoothly.

It’s understandable to want to keep the peace. But here’s the thing: avoiding dealing with issues in your marriage has a way of coming back to bite you later. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. So let’s explore four big reasons to stop avoiding the issue.

1. Avoidance fuels a negative relationship cycle.



When you avoid or minimize problems instead of addressing them, it can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells – and like you don’t have a lot of control over what’s happening in the relationship. In turn, this can lead to feeling like your partner is calling all the shots, especially if they are more proactive in bringing up issues. This then results in more avoidance, perpetuating the cycle. On the other hand, learning to be assertive and share your feelings and needs in a healthy, respectful way kicks off a positive cycle, building self-confidence and creating a space of mutual acceptance. This helps you feel more comfortable addressing future issues right away instead of letting them fester.