How to talk to children
The phrases we tell children can have a significant impact in how they learn to deal with uncomfortable situations.
5 common phrases parents should avoid telling their kids:
1- "Oh! You don't really feel that way"
This is one of the worst things parents can say to their children, says Karen R. Koeing, MEd, LCSW. It is important for parents to validate how a child is feeling, even if the parent wishes the child felt differently.
2- "You are OK"
Saying "you're okay" when someone is hurt or crying can often feel like an automatic response. Whenever possible, avoid uttering this phrase to your kids.
"Telling kids that something does not hurt when it does challenges their reality". "Kids need permission to exist, to be who they are, to think, feel, and make mistakes."
3- "I don't believe you"
"When you make this kind of statement, you initiate distrust by assuming your child is lying, and this can severely damage your relationship"
4- "There is nothing to be afraid of"
"Not only you are dismissing their feelings, but you're sending the message that something is wrong with them," says therapist James Killian, LPC
5- "You have to give ___ a hug and a kiss"
It is important not to force children to do things that they do not feel comfortable with. Instead of hugging or kissing as a way to greet someone a child could instead choose to wave their hand to say hello, shake hands or greet politely from a distance. It is important for children to be able to express if they do not feel comfortable with physical proximity.
Source: 25 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Kids — Best Life (bestlifeonline.com)