She said it in such a whisper I could barely tell she was talking. “I still love him,” she said with a shiver of shame running over her. My heart moved over to make room for her. I had met this sadness before – from the hims and hers who came in throughout the years ahead of her.  

They told me about the struggles of living with a spouse addicted, with a spouse turned paranoid, or with a spouse now violent. Their sadness you could nearly cup in your hand it was so palpable. They sought options to end the cycle they were in: a drunken episode resulting in destroying their daughter’s Halloween costume that was to be worn in three days time, then apologies and more apologies followed by a devout resolve to make amends and change behavior only to have the cycle return in an endless orbit.


You can find more of Angela's writing in her book Patched Up Parenting.