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A Plea for Planning
Dwight Wilson, Executive Director
So often I see families and individuals at Celia’s House in emotional, physical, and spiritual despair, partly because they haven’t discussed their wishes and needs for the end of their lives. Most people and their families are aware of failing health and the burden that chronic health issues bring to themselves and those around them. When many of us face these challenges, at the very least, we experience fear of the future and the unknown. Conversation about your end-of-life desires can make a big difference in easing these emotions.
My plea to those reading this or who know others who might not have started this conversation is to consider it a gift that keeps on giving. Most people feel a sense of relief by expressing and clarifying their wishes to those they love and trust. Such clarity also gives our loved ones direction and comfort at one of the most intimate periods of our lives. This deeply meaningful conversation will improve your chances of having an easier end-of-life experience because you and everyone around you will be part of a journey that ends in relative comfort and compassion.
Beginning: It is easier to begin the conversation when you are healthy. You don’t have to solve anything during this time, as this will be the first of many discussions. One tip is to find a casual time and begin with something like, “I’ve been thinking about how I might want to live my last few days.”
Readiness to have the conversation: The next time you gather, you could begin with, “Here’s what I’ve been thinking since our last conversation.” Your thoughts could take six months or a year to formulate and may change as years go by.
The burden of medical treatment: Your feelings about treatment, as well as your views on death, may change across different stages of your life.
Hopes and Dreams: Often, we think that the only decisions to be made are medical, but this conversation is much broader. For instance, my own hopes are to have as much time as possible with my grandchildren and that decisions for me be made around that priority.
Over time you will want to formalize your end-of-life wishes in a durable power of attorney for healthcare. It is recommended that this document be reviewed annually or after a significant health event. These reviews promote healthy dialogue about living as preparation for the time when we become terminal.
Please take this journey. It is a gift to those closest to you and may avert the crisis that too often happens when individuals and their families face the last days of their lives.
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