www.challengesinc.com          March 20, 2017

"Transforming families in business                         from normal to extraordinary"           "A sharp tongue cuts deep, especially in a family"

Cutting Tone  ..          It certainly seems like there are a lot of "sharp" tongues today. Some politicians are great examples of speaking to, or about one another in a "cutting tone." Disagreements become outright conflict. There is never an apology, never a "just let it go" time, and certainly never forgiving. Using the "cutting tone" when another doesn't share a certain point of view, or believes what the other believes, appears to be the normal way of addressing issues today.   What makes it worse is when both parties enter into the squabble using the "cutting tone." When this happen the words become childish and disrespectful. The "cutting tone" slices deeper when family members act and speak in this manner toward one another. It can be as hurtful as physical altercation.

Families do it .. With families, especially families in business, it becomes  personal when the "cutting tone" is  targeted to the emotions of another.  Downplayed are the past successes. Criticized are what the "cutting tone" identifies as the failures of another. Failures real and  perceived of not just today, but of all they have done.  It becomes emotional.  When this happens the other person cuts right back allowing little room for working together. Occasionally the targeted family member stays silent about the emotional "hurt." They remain quite in order to avoid deeper conflict, yet their feeling of rejection, of not being respected, remains.

Time for a little thought .. What if we used words like:  "I believe that you have done a great job, have you considered doing .....?"  It's not a "cutting tone" but an offer of an idea that may help another to improve. It's not a show of disrespect, intended or not, that may play on the emotions of a family member, but an offer of a possible way to improve. It's not words that point out failure but offer opportunity. A little thought before speaking can turn any "cutting tones" into "caring words" if we take the time to think before we speak.

Kwaiserism -    "Cutting tones, cut deep. Caring tones come from tongues that are respectful of the feelings of others "

Your TRUSTED  Family Business Advisers Jim & Ann Marie Kwaiser                               Transforming Families thru 724-301-1255 or 724-301-1254                     * Succession Planning; jim@challengesinc.com                                    * Conflict Resolution; ann@challengesinc.com                                   * Organizational Development; www.challengesinc.com                                  * Communication Issues                                          CONTACT US TODAY - We Know We Can Help