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When you think about being curious, what comes to mind? Cats? Kids? George? All joking aside, curiosity is a trait that we don’t often put a lot of thought into, especially as adults. While some people are naturally more inquisitive than others, striving to be more curious is not as common as say, working on being more punctual or organized. That’s why you might be surprised to learn that curiosity can improve your marriage. Keep reading to find out how.
1. It helps you resolve conflict.
When you’re working through an issue, making assumptions about your partner’s behavior and intentions adds fuel to the fire. It easily comes across as judgmental, which can set off a cycle of defensiveness – not ideal for a productive discussion. Leaning into curiosity is a great way to avoid jumping to unfair conclusions. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve been distracted all week. It’s like you’re not even trying to be present,” you might lead with, “I noticed you’ve been really distracted this week. Is there anything going on?” Keep in mind, your tone and nonverbal cues need to align with a genuine sense of curiosity. A warm and caring delivery is much more likely to elicit a vulnerable and honest response from your spouse. In turn, you’re more likely to have a meaningful conversation instead of getting sucked into an unproductive argument.
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