A Message from Pastor
"How to win friends"
Sisters and Brothers,
Have you ever finished a conversation unsatisfied or even annoyed at the person you were speaking with? We've all been in conversations with people who dominate the dialogue, and on topics they get to choose. We all know how off putting a one-sided conversation is. It's frustrating when the person you're speaking with never asks you a question about what's going on in your life.
Alternatively, a good conversation leaves both people feeling heard and validated. If you want to win friends and be a gift to others, listen more and talk less. Don't be like those people above. Ask how the other person is doing. Stay with their story. Ask follow up questions. After a while, if they say something that connects with your own experience, then segue into your own story or anecdote. A good conversation is 50/50. That is, 50% talking and 50% listening.
You have the right to take the initiative to share more about yourself if the other party has been doing most of the talking. Just because the person doesn’t ask doesn’t mean you can’t share.
Ask purposeful questions. The kind of questions you ask will steer the direction of the conversation. Start off with the simple, trivial, everyday questions as you build a rapport. Then, get to know the person better through deeper, more revealing questions—when you think the person is ready to share.
Mutual sharing is a gift you can give to another person. Healthy conversations build friendships, which help to build community. Try it out and let me know.
Rev. Arden C. Strasser, Pastor
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