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I wonder, on this cusp of a new year, if a resolution, vow, or promise that is sincerely meant in the moment in which it is uttered ~ is necessarily a failure, lie, or betrayal when it dissolves like a snowflake on the tongue.
I do not place much stock in drunken resolutions made at midnight on December 31st. What does the song “Auld Lang Syne” mean, anyway? Do you still share “a cup of kindness” after singing the song, dropping of the ball, and closing of the pub?
Let us hear the resolutions but temporarily hold off on believing them or condemning those who fall short of keeping them. As the saying goes, “The devil is in the details” and so too, perhaps, is the blessing.
As a pastor, I listen to promises that I cherish, but don’t really believe, because I know the promise, while precious and true in that moment, may not be precious and true in every moment thereafter. I cannot count the times I have heard someone saying that they are going to give up drinking, smoking, gambling, enabling, eating meat, and ______ (fill in the blank created just for you).
When I preside at weddings, I often get a deep and unsettling feeling that the couple have little sense of the meaning of the spiritual bond, promise, or vow that they declare, or if it truly will be kept for a lifetime. They mean these promises, are deeply in love, and are good people. But only half of marriages, sealed with a vow, promise, ring and kiss will survive. Does that reality necessarily disavow the vow?
I see this even at baptisms. The godparents say, “I will” when asked to vow their support of the one about to be baptized. Maybe they meant well, or weren’t paying much attention to the pretty words when they declared their loving support to the child of God in the presence of the couple, me, the families, and the entire congregation. When friendship or proximity to the parents of the baptized somehow ends, and the godparents don’t step up or in ~ are the godparents now hypocrites? Is it fair nowadays to expect people to keep their vow, resolution, or promise? Can you sue a godparent for breach of love?
If taken to a court of love, and tried by a jury of my peers for my unkept and unmet promises, vows and resolutions, I would throw myself at the mercy of the court before the verdict even came in. I am a sinner. I fail, flop, and flail ~ often without knowing it until it is too late. I missed the mark for which I aimed. Not everyone finds it sufficient to hear, “I’m sorry. I fell short. I will try harder to be better from now on.”
Love saves, but it also hurts. Liars, fools, and lovers also make vows, promises, and resolutions. I confess I have sometimes been all three at the same time, without even knowing it. Truth is, people change and relationships end. This awareness may come too late for some, but just in time for others.
On this Eve of the New Year, I take inventory of how I have changed. I don’t make promises I can’t keep. My resolution is to stay true to you and me and to the spiritual path. My vow is to say what I mean but not say it mean, even if I don’t fully know the meaning of what I say.
Hope for you, me, and our church flows like lava through my veins. At this moment, new stars are being formed as others explode. Today, I am a mere speck of confetti, colorful and well-intended. But right now, I know beyond doubt that God is Love. In this new year, my prayer is that we never lose sight of that and always act accordingly.
Peace,
Dwight Lee Wolter
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