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"Mom, where is my water bottle?"
"Mom, where are my glasses?"
"Mom, where is the ketchup?"
"Mom, where is the remote?"
"Mom, where is my wallet?"
"Mom, where is my phone?"
"Mom, where is swimsuit?"
"Mom, where are my goggles?"
"Mom, where are my shoes?"
"Mom, where is my homework?"
"Mom, where is my library book?"
"Mom, where is that one thing from that one place?"
"Mom...Mom...Mom...Mom......???"
I hear myself saying the same thing my mother told me as a child, "Look with your eyes, not with your mouth", when bombarded with 101 questions regarding misplaced belongings. Apparently, children prefer asking someone else to look for their missing toys or articles of clothing versus taking ownership and doing the legwork required to complete the mission themselves. As the parent, it is my job to empower them to understand how they can solve these conflicts of organization and to establish their independence.
Help is a double-edged sword. We can either ask too early and appear needy or wait too long and appear the martyr. Overcoming this hurdle may be accomplished by knowing our own capacity, i.e. if I need to construct a lunch for myself, I can adequately complete the task. I may not enjoy laboring in the kitchen, but I can do it. However, if I need to construct a house, I need to ask for a wee bit of help. These are the black and white ends of the spectrum. For you to serve yourself and others around you, get familiar with the gray area. Knowing what you can do vs. cannot do makes it easier to categorize what you do and do not need help with.
Next time you find yourself leaning over to ask a family member, friend or co-worker for what you believe to be a validated request for help, stop and ask yourself this. Do I need help, or am I just hoping someone else will do a little bit of the legwork for me?
Kate Abbe
The Elkhorn Chamber
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