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Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner, once said in an interview that, after college, he decided he wanted to work for the NFL, so he pursued that course…
…but was turned down by them 50 times.
“I handle rejection well,” he said. “I stuck with it. I think in the end, they got tired of getting my letters.”
He’s not alone.
Elvis Presley’s 8th grade teacher told him he didn’t have an aptitude for singing. Yet Elvis, later known to all as ‘The King of Rock and Roll’, achieved legendary musical and vocal success.
Emmy Award-winning broadcaster Sally Jessy Raphael was fired 18 times over a 30-year career.
“I could have let those 18 firings prevent me from doing what I wanted,” she said in a Reader’s Digest article. “Instead, I let them spur me on.”
And there it is… rejection.
That ugly, vicious monster many people let stop them dead in their tracks and sabotage a promising future.
All because they can’t get over the pain and humiliation…
…they see it as a deathblow…
…and quit.
Only a small minority of people has the grit, the tenacity, the persistence to overcome repeated rejection.
And that’s an enviable minority to be in.
“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat,” says actor Sylvester Stallone.
An unknown author named Theodor Geisel was rejected by 27 publishers for his first children’s book. But he pressed on. Upset. Not defeated.
Publisher #28 took a chance.
That book — written by the man we came to know as Dr. Seuss — sold 6 million copies.
Oh, and by the way, he went on to write and illustrate more than 60 books in total, translated into 15 languages, that sold more than 200 million copies.
Clearly… Geisel did not take rejection as the final word.
Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s childhood dream was to attend West Point. He applied, but was rejected.
Twice.
He didn’t quit. And undaunted, was accepted on his third attempt. His military accomplishments are now legendary — but if not for his stubborn tenacity, might never have launched.
Cary Grant, Richard Burton, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, and Liam Neeson are acclaimed as some of Hollywood’s finest leading men — yet all have suffered Academy Award rejection, having never won the coveted Oscar.
None let it stop them from brilliant acting careers.
When I was a kid, from age 6 on, I was consumed with dreams of playing professional baseball. Played organized ball every year. At 17, I tried out for the Kansas City Royals. Had a great tryout — was scouted for a while — but it never materialized into a contract. I was horribly disappointed that the only big dream I had was dead.
But rather than let it destroy me, I chose to use it as a lightning rod, a motivating force — so I would never fail on that grand a stage again, and never feel that searing pain again. It revved my engines every day thereafter — to do well in college, to get a great job, to advance up promotional ranks, to enjoy a successful career, to one day start my own business, grow it fruitfully (for 35 years now), and to have an awesome, loving family for the whole ride.
That one baseball rejection — so long ago — still drives me to thrive in every area of my life: family, health, fitness, business, relationships, financial, adventure, personal growth.
What could have derailed me forever — I repurposed into my high-octane rocket fuel.
Yes, rejection sucks. It burns in your gut like a blazing inferno.
It can bring brutal, excruciating pain. It bloodies your confidence, tortures your spirit, scars your soul.
It makes you look in the mirror and question your worth. Makes you want to throw in the towel.
Rejection can happen in school, in business, in a romantic relationship, in sports, from friends, from family, in anything. Or in several at once. And frequently over time.
When rejection comes calling — and it does for all of us — many times in life — you have a choice…
You can let it be the sledge hammer that crushes you.
Or the ignition switch that catapults you forward.
You decide: Winner or loser. Victor or victim.
Every day of your future may depend on the choice you make in that solitary moment of rejection.
It’s up to you.
Hard to put it any better than Walt Disney: “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Elite soccer star David Beckham got his teeth-kick at age 13 when told by a coach that he’d never play for England because he was too small and not strong enough. That rejection strengthened Beckham’s resolve.
He not only played for England, but was 6-time team captain, earned global popularity, and became the face of soccer worldwide.
Author J. K. Rowling is another.
Failed marriage… single mom… clinically depressed… on government welfare… could not afford to heat her flat in Edinburgh… so she wrote “Harry Potter” in a warm café down the street.
Sent the manuscript to 12 publishers. All 12 rejected. They said: too long… children’s books seldom make money… not interested.
But she stuck with it. A 13th publisher also dismissed it — but had an idea. The CEO gave Chapter 1 to his 8-year-old daughter to see her reaction. She started reading — could not put it down — and begged for every chapter thereafter.
So he took a chance and accepted it!
And today? 600 million copies sold. 84 languages. 8 blockbuster movies. Theme parks on 4 continents.
Rowling later said rock bottom became the solid foundation on which she rebuilt her life.
What would you have done? Keep going? Or give up after the first 2 or 3 rejections?
Actions For You:
Here’s the best 3-step medicine for rejection:
- Ignore it. Inwardly laugh in the face of it. Treat it like a temporary headache that comes and goes.
- Flip the script 180° in your head — negative to positive. Quit seeing it as depressing — and use it as an adrenaline stimulant to push yourself forward. See it as your catalyst for growth.
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Resolve to prove the rejecters wrong. Grit your teeth, clench your fist, and inwardly tell yourself: “Oh yeah? I’ll show you.” Then do it. Accomplish what the cynics and naysayers said you couldn’t.
That’s what Tae Bo founder Billy Blanks did when, as a kid, his martial arts instructor sent him to the back of the class because he couldn’t keep up.
Blanks used his anger productively, becoming the first in his class to earn a black belt, followed by black belts in 6 different martial arts disciplines, and earning 7 world karate championships.
Treat rejection as your friend, your inspiration, your accelerant — not your enemy.
All these winners I’ve mentioned did exactly that.
You can too.
Power Thought: “Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. It means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.” Mark Amend, author.
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