25 Reasons to Forgive Yourself and Everyone Too

1) When we forgive ourselves, we can acknowledge a past mistake more willingly and therefore grow.

2) Unforgiveness is spiritual burnout. 

3) It is so important to forgive yourself for hurting others, apologize, make amends, and move on to live your future fully. It is impossible to go through life without hurting another person, yet it is always possible to do something about it. We will both forgive ourselves and think about the best course of action.

4) There is a part of you that holds on to grudges and unforgiveness. 

There is a part of you that looks at the world with love, kindness and joy. 

You get to pick which part to feed.

5) Forgiveness is how we release those "suitcases in the attic" that make it hard to love, breathe, enjoy, and build an authentic life. You will feel the difference immediately.

6) When we live with guilt and shame, we don't have the energy to be compassionate to other people. Guilt and shame and judgement are very tough (and energetically draining) burdens to carry. Once you forgive, your immune system becomes stronger.

7) Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. We will forgive; we won't forget. 

8) A situation will sometimes repeat itself again and again until we forgive, let go, process, and release it.

9) Forgiveness makes us physically lighter. Researchers at Erasmus University asked people to write about a time when they either gave or withheld forgiveness. They were then asked to jump as high as they could. Those who had been thinking about a time when they’d forgiven jumped highest; those who had written about their grudges, on the other hand, jumped 3 inches lower—a huge difference. Unforgiveness is heavy; forgiveness is light.

10) Forgiveness is a necessary practice for happiness. I haven’t seen a person reach a place of happiness and balance without forgiving everyone and releasing all grudges. You can’t be happy AND have hard feelings.

11) You also can’t forgive yourself without forgiving others. It’s the same process. You can’t release yourself from grudges and blame if you don’t do it for others, and vice versa. What you hold in your heart affects yourself and all others evenly— all your inner and outer landscapes.

12) We'll move toward a mind that is more pleasant to inhabit.

13) When you begin forgiving, you see that everything that is happening to you is happening as a gift for your spiritual growth.

14) Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. — Nelson Mandela

15) A core Buddhist teaching is that it's only on earth that we can achieve enlightenment, because it's only on earth that we can forgive. We actually need to make mistakes, and we need others to make mistakes. We need to forgive and be forgiven because it processes our egos. We need to make mistakes so that others have the experience of forgiving us and so that we can forgive ourselves. It’s a necessary part of the picture, of the journey, of our emotional life— and the path to enlightenment.

16) The more you forgive, the more good things enter your life. As you become lighter and more joyful inside, what is outside you mirrors what is within. 

17) Forgiveness is primarily an act of self-compassion.

18) Anyone you haven't forgiven yet is taking your energy. Your mind will keep coming back to it. Attention is energy. Those we don't forgive drain us every single day.

19) The essence of forgiveness is being resilient when things don’t go the way you want—to be at peace with “no,” to be at peace with a "yes", to be at peace with what is, to be at peace with the vulnerability inherent in human life. It’s the absence of prejudice that informs forgiveness.

20) The more you can forgive people in the past, the more you can love people in the present. 

21) Often the people who suffer from our unforgiveness are not the people who hurt us yesterday, but those who love us today.

22) The state of enlightenment feels something like this: "Thanks for everything, I have no complaints whatsoever." That's the state we will move toward together.

23) Letting go and forgiving gives us freedom, and freedom is the main condition for happiness.

24) We are not here to judge, we are here to pay attention.

25) As you forgive, you will experience inner peace.

The Inner Lightness Program is running all of February. You can still join here or here.

Every minute of this work is worth it. 

With love,

Elizabeth