Covering the Same Ground Along the Way- How Will I Get There?
While sometimes youth may take a direct path on their journeys, most often, they circle around one event or relationship over and over again to get where they need to go (Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!) Consider this:
Children grieve and reconcile losses in the context of a relationship (Wolfelt, 1996). When the relationship-building process is terminated, children experience new losses, and further their grieving needs. As the attachment process is "recycled", children build relationships through the establishment of trust and perceptions of security and safety. Safe relationships enable children to reconcile losses as they move through placement into relationships within new families. As children do this, they are moving through integration into the actualization phase. The repetitive interactions of a reciprocal attachment process, with elements of stability, continuity, and mutuality, will assure that children and families are building more permanent relationships.
(Excerpt from
Henry, D. (2005). The 3-5-7 Model: Preparing children for permanency. Children and Youth Services Review.)
Just as our youth require that their needs be repeatedly met through the attachment cycle as they build relationships, likewise you may notice that some youth tell their stories many times over. Keep in mind:
By listening to them as they tell their stories, we are able to help them clarify past life events, integrate their relationship experiences, and support the actualization of connections as they continue their life's journey. It is most likely not a quick journey, often requiring many "tellings" of their stories as they express many feelings about those events. It is a sorting out, a claiming of real emotions, a sense of the found of what may have been lost to them. In doing their work, children and youth are able to find answers that make sense of their experiences.
(Excerpt from The 3-5-7 MODEL, A Practice Approach to Permanency, Stories of Hope and Healing for Children, Youth and Families.)
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DESTINATION, IT'S ABOUT THE JOUNEY...
SO SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE!
