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You told yourself that you would.
You didn’t.
You put it on your to-do list today.
Nope. Still not done.
It’s your goal. Your wish. Your resolution.
Yes, but…
You committed to the follow up call.
Missed it. Oops…
While you are probably clear about calling out when someone else disappears from a relationship, a conversation, a promise, a goal, or a business plan, what you may not be as intuitive about is when you vanish from yourself! Every time you say you will and instead you flake, you are essentially ghosting yourself. That is because every great idea needs wings to fly and those wings are your commitments to following through, not just for others, but first and most importantly to and for yourself.
Every next success is predicated on a mini or maxi transition driven by choice and action.
Your pledge to decide, be bold and lead those choices and actions creates the momentum for them to come alive. The moment you hold back, don’t follow up, forget to work on something, or simply don’t reply, you erode your values and your value to others, and you contract and minimize your leadership. Hiding from the hard stuff like your fears, or procrastinating on tasks that massage your next accomplishments, creates a scarcity energy space. Scarcity energy is negative energy that revolves around a lack of commitment and follow through and it will always keep you playing small and under delivering.
Let’s face it, if you don’t show up for yourself, it is difficult to be present for others. A disconnect emerges between what you want and what currently exists. Your leadership, which begins from within, is disengaged.
Even your shadow is ghosted if there is not enough light.
So, how do you stop the noise and be more present?
Use these 3 strategies to illuminate action.
Dial up your energy. When you allow yourself the opportunity to lead your energy, the results you get align more closely with today's version of you. Picture yourself standing in the lobby of a big office building. You are right in front of the elevator, and you have a choice to make. Which button will you press? If you press the down button, you go to the basement and below, possibly depleting your motivation (unless you are accessing your car in the parking garage) but if you press the up button, you select another experience. The roof, the view, the penthouse, and access to the upper floors unfolds for you. It is easy to be a ghost in the basement, yet not nearly as simple in the glow of the rooftop restaurant. When you actively select your energy level, you also validate your presence and participation. More upbeat and elevated energy brings you front and center with what is possible and, in the process, supports you in staying accountable and in-action. Press the button that supports you in rising.
Forward face on follow ups. Lead with your next steps. Most things that have value to you will require more work and tenacity. The secret to not disappearing from business deals, pitches, new clients, and relationships is to stay in the conversation with them full circle. It’s easy to skip the second pitch, or not return an email, or forget to call, and much more difficult to mindfully circle back again and again.
How you follow up is how you follow through.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
This is your place to be memorable and to stand apart. What do you want that legacy to be? You lead you and organically you lead others. Whether that ultimately takes you on a journey of saying “yes” or “no” your ability to take confident and consistent ownership of your decisions is exactly what keeps you in decision, in choice, and purposeful. Instead of disappearing you engage and inspire.
Create a habit of STARTING your day with your follow ups. Give yourself a block of time each morning to take inventory on what needs your attention. Even if you are not interested in a client, pitch, or opportunity, turning it down and following up creates space for something else more important to unfold. When you ignore next steps, or show up ½ way, you also erode your ability to lead yourself and others and there is a certain heaviness to this that impacts your productivity, relationships, and experiences.
Clarify “what” you want. The fastest path to celebrating success is to call out your “boo moments.” The things that scare you are exactly what you need to address. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable will open the door to worrying less about “how” you will get something done and more about “what” and “why” that goal or idea is important to you. Fears live in the “land of how” and when you get certain about what drives you,“how” will find you, and it will be almost impossible to ghost yourself in the process.
Think of it this way.
Let’s say you are looking to pick up a carton of milk, but instead of driving to the grocery store, you drove to the hardware store instead. While the hardware store is filled with merchandise to purchase, the thing you want is not one of the items they stock. Why did you go there? That gap between identifying what you want and going after it (in this case driving straight to the grocery store) is exactly the space in which you are being inauthentic with yourself. When your story is taking you one place, and what you want is someplace else, that is a scarcity “boo moment!” Next time you want something, get clear and get real about what next steps will get you there. More action, less ghosting.
Ready to authentically lead yourself? Want to gain traction in making bold choices and elevating success? Let’s talk!
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