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Three Tips for Putting an End to Tattling at Work

As a manager, you are aware that members of your team may behave differently when you are, or are not, in the room.  

Because of this, you may often rely on the information you receive from others to stay in the loop about what's really going on.  

In fact, you may count on your people to alert you to any serious issues you may need to know about.  But what do you do when someone takes this "reporting" too far?

How do you deal with a tattletale?

Before we dive into our discussion of how to address the issue of tattling, it is important to first clearly define what should, or should not, be considered tattling.

Tattling is not:
  • Reporting on issues of misconduct;
  • Speaking up about discrimination, harassment, bullying, or other forms of abuse;
  • Raising concerns about safety; or
  • Reporting legally or ethically questionable behavior.
Tattling is:
  • Complaining about petty or trivial incidences that have little impact on the actual work getting done;
  • Going to the boss with interpersonal issues that should be resolved without their intervention;
  • Pointing out the minor infractions of other employees; or
  • Reporting on behavior that does not break any laws, company policies, or accepted standards of conduct.
A good litmus test to determine whether someone is tattling is that you typically feel more annoyed with the person for complaining to you than concerned about the actual issue being reported.

So, you've got yourself a tattler.  Now what?

 

Step 1: Address the right issue

 

Tattling Jane comes into your office to tell you she was offended by her coworkers discussing their political views at lunch.  As far as you can tell, no one was being argumentative or offensive, but Jane thought the conversation was inappropriate. 
 
You care about your employees and want everyone to feel comfortable, respected, and happy.  Your mind searches for a way to satisfy Jane without cracking down on everyone else.  How can you address the issue of your employees' lunch conversations?
 
You don't.

When you look for ways to appease her, Tattling Jane is sucking you into her view of what the problem is.  This will only cause problems amongst your other employees and will likely distract you from addressing the real issue that needs to be addressed - Jane's tattling.
 
While some managers can see clearly that the problem does not lie with the lunchroom employees, they still fall into the trap of appeasing Jane.  Then when they fail to reprimand her coworkers, Jane begins to see the manager as ineffective.  This will likely make the manager the focus of her subsequent tattling, as she proceeds to complain about the situation to anyone who will listen, including your superiors. 
 
The best way to get around this is to directly address the real issue - the tattling.
 
This might sound like...
 
"Jane, I understand that you felt uncomfortable with the conversation your coworkers were having, but they weren't violating any rules or policies.  This isn't something that I have the authority (or am willing) to address.  However, I am concerned about your habit of coming to me with these kinds of issues.  It seems to be isolating you from your coworkers... (etc.).  I'd like to see if we can establish some guidelines about what types of issues are appropriate for you to report to me." 
 
Step 2: Don't encourage the behavior

Sometimes managers encourage a tattletale's behavior in subtle, and not-so-subtle ways.  Remember, in many cases, a tattler's motive is to make themselves look better by making others look worse. 
 
Know-it-all Nick just happens to mention that Rhonda was 3 minutes late coming back from her break.  "Ok, thanks," you say. 
 
The next day, he lets you know that John didn't refill the paper in the copy machine when he was done using it.  You respond with, "I'll talk to him about that."
 
Before you know it, Nick is delivering his laundry list of petty grievances to you every day.  He's come to believe that you appreciate it, and furthermore, that playing this role is making a favorable impression on you. 
 
It may be completely harmless for your employee to make a single comment in passing, but it is dangerous to let it develop into a pattern of behavior.  Be sure not to encourage your tattletale's behavior by doing the following things:
 
Don't:
  • Thank or praise the employee for tattling;
  • Openly agree with the tattletale's perspective;
  • Make comparisons between the tattle-tale and the person he/she is tattling on ("I know YOU always fill the copy machine, Nick.");
  • Solicit the tattle-tale when you are trying to gather information; or
  • Reward the tattle-tale with promotions or choice projects.
 
Step 3: Get HR Involved

If the tattling persists after you've addressed the issue directly and done what you can to discourage the behavior, it may be time to get HR involved.  Receiving a formal warning or appropriate disciplinary action should be enough to get the message across that the tattler's behavior is unwelcome and inappropriate.
 
Sincerely,  

Team KJR


Need Help?

Our coaches can help you make an individualized plan for addressing inappropriate employee behaviors.

KJR Consulting
(860)286-9557
info@KJRConsulting.com