Coping with Grief During the Holidays

“Mourning is the most intense process that most people ever go through. Grief is complex, unpredictable and primal. Many people are frightened by it-frightened by feeling it, frightened by seeing in others. Fortunately, there are ways to move through it, and those ways all involve expressing your feelings. If you act upon your grief, you will make room in your life and in your heart for hope and happiness. If you suppress it, it sticks around forever. However, unpleasant or disturbing some of those feelings may be, there is no benefit in trying to ignore them.”
This is the first paragraph of Chapter 12 in my book co-written with Nancy Hathaway, entitled Giving Sorrow Words: How to Cope with Grief and Get on with Your Life. 

As we approach the holidays and I see more and more people posting remembrances on our Facebook pages, I am reminded of these words over and over again. This year our grief is compounded by COVID-19, political differences, isolation from our family and friends, job losses and so much more. Every day the headlines remind us of how many are still suffering from the deaths of our loved ones as the result of this deadly virus.
The holidays are an especially difficult time for those of us who have lost loved ones no matter what the circumstances. I personally think it’s even worse when those tragedies and anniversaries occur around this time of year or any holiday for that matter. Read more . . ,


It’s Party Time!!

During the holidays, the name of the game besides shopping seems to be celebrating. Whether it is celebrating your particular holiday, celebrating New Year’s or celebrating friends and family, it is party time.
There is nothing better than surrounding ourselves with loved ones, no matter what time of year it is. The most important thing is that we all have a good time and return home safely. Towards that end, We Save Lives searched the Internet for the best tips on how to be responsible hosts and how to minimize the danger once our guests leave our home.
These Responsible Party Host Tips are from the state of Michigan Liquor Control Commission and are very comprehensive.

Responsible Party Host Tips Party Planning
  • Have designated drivers. Plan to have sober drivers at your party who can escort folks home. Volunteer to be a sober driver at someone else’s party.
  • Plan ahead to get keys. Prepare a basket or bowl where all of your guests can leave their keys. You are the only person who can retrieve the keys. This way, you can examine all of your guests before they leave. Read More . . .
A Message from Candace

I have good holiday seasons and not so good. The ones that are good are the ones in which Cari's death and my grief doesn't dominate the season and my every waking thought. The ones that aren't so good are the ones in which my grief is a priority interfering in every joyous event I plan. I never know how it is going to be until it is or isn't. What helps is knowing that what I am doing as the result of her death will hopefully prevent others from experiencing the same tragedy and devastation that I did. Every once in a while, I receive a thank you from a survivor who just wants to show her appreciation for what I am doing "and how inspiring it is!" That makes my day.

This season, love your family like there is no tomorrow. Do something kind for someone else and if you know a victim or survivor go out of your way to offer a shoulder to cry on.

If you are hosting or going to a party follow our tips so you and others can stay safe.

Focus on life saving by stopping at stop signs, going no more then the speed limit, turning off your mobile devices when driving, keeping your passengers safe, wearing a seat belt and respecting the rules of the road. No matter what you celebrate I want you to stay safe and have a wonderful time.

Because I care . . .

Right now, We Save Lives needs your help. You have the power to help us win this war against increasing traffic violence. We are asking you to donate as much as you can so that we can continue our fight against drunk, drugged and distracted driving.   

You have the ability to change the culture of acceptance surrounding death and injury on our roadways.

You can give now through our website or send a check to:

We Save Lives
3305 Wyndham Circle #155
Alexandria VA 22302
Thank you, as always for caring about this deadly epidemic that will only get worse without your help.

Your safety is always our priority,
We Save Lives depends upon contributions and sponsorships to help fund our ongoing drunk, drugged and distracted driving campaigns. These include our Drop the "A" Word petition drive, Action Alerts, Legislative support, and our Celebration of Life program, honoring victims and survivors of drunk, drugged and distracted driving and boating. If you are interested in Giving Back to your community and saving lives please consider becoming a We Save Lives sponsor. You may contact us at
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