|
If you've decided to do some dispute resolution work with your family,
the following step-by-step approach may be a helpful guide:
Step One.
Define the conflict for yourself. Fill in the sentence here: “The conflict is about _____. I want _______. (The other person) ____wants ____.”
Step Two.
Check your definition of the conflict with the other person. Try: “Do you have time to talk about something? I've been thinking about _____(the conflict topic). I think the conflict is about_____. I want _____. You want____. What do you think about that?” Then listen, listen, listen.
Step Three.
Say: “Can we try to resolve this? Do you have any ideas about what I can do to help it get resolved?” Again, listen, listen, listen. Say: “Do you want to hear my ideas about what I could do and what you could do?” Only share your ideas if invited. Share your ideas neutrally, without negativity.
Step Four.
Make a plan to try something. Give it a time frame. E.g.: “Let’s try this _____ (the plan) for two weeks and check back to see if things went better for both of us.” Work on this plan as a shared project between you and the other person.
Step Five.
Thank the other person for working with you on the conflict. Show them some family love and care. Move forward.
| 
