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An Example: (excerpted)
The other day, as I walked through the lobby leaving a building, a woman I didn’t know passed me and said, “Buenas." I answered, “Buenas,” and kept going. Then I heard the woman say: “You’re so rude. Learn some manners. When someone greets you, you should greet them back.” I stopped, turned around, and realized the woman was talking to me. I told her that I had responded to her greeting -- that she didn’t hear me. And I went about my day.
What I really wanted to suggest was that maybe she took the interaction a bit too personally. It seems that the quick conflict was fueled by evaluating the interaction through a super personalized lens. "Learn some manners..." is an assumption coming from a person who believes their reading is fully accurate and worthy of comment. "When someone greets you..." indicates a grievance that comes from believing someone has not treated you respectfully. Quick to anger, quick to engage, not always accurate.
Whenever I walk into an elevator and there’s already someone there, I greet them, it is common in Latin America. Most of the time people answer my greeting. Sometimes, they don’t. When they don’t, I don’t take it personally -- maybe they just didn't hear me.
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