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Day 35: TONE OF VOICE

by Sara Barnes

Tone of voice can cause or calm a conflict:

Try this: Say 'That's really interesting' in a normal and even-handed tone of voice. Now say it again in a bored tone. And in the way you would when you're surprised. Or with sarcasm.

What's the point? The same words can communicate very different messages depending on your tone of voice.

These days, with so much remote communication, we're missing out on much of the

in-person body language we usually rely upon -- making your tone of voice that much more important!

Your voice as a tool:

Just like any tool, you can learn to use your voice more effectively. It starts with having an intentional goal and setting forward on a journey toward improvement.

Some research indicates that between 80 - 90% of conflict is related to tone of voice. With so much riding on this one tool, it's important to pay attention to it and to develop skills to manage your vocal tones.

Conflict and vocal tone:

You can improve your vocal tone and use your voice more effectively.

Try listening to yourself on a recording.

Do you notice that you are using a sing-song cadence, but you would like to sound more even-handed?

Would you like to slow down and speak more authoritatively?

Would you like your voice to communicate kindness?

Practice the tone of voice you would like to adopt, and consider rehearsing and recording it until you like what you hear.

In a conflict, paying close attention to vocal tone can be very helpful.

Do you tend to have a higher or louder or more clipped and brusque tone of voice when you are in a conflict? Or do you get very quiet?

When adrenaline is flowing, it affects your vocal chords and this stress-filled voice is likely apparent to the other person. Consciously calm yourself so your voice can be a partner in resolution and not a hindrance to the process.

Your voice reflects your thought process: if you're angry, your voice will likely convey this emotion. And that's fine if you choose to convey this emotion. But it should be a choice. With self-reflection and practice, you can train your voice to come across more even-handedly and calm, if that's what you want.

Individual vocal tone challenges:

Everyone has a different set of vocal tone challenges. Have you heard from others that they notice something about your voice? Take this helpful feedback seriously. No one can change the actual mechanics of their vocal structure, but like any musical instrument, practice makes perfect, and you can learn to use your vocal instrument more expertly as a tool in resolving conflicts.

New Year 2025 -- on this day all over the world, people are focused on new beginnings. Take a moment to consider the future possibilities for a peaceful world.

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