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Conflicts based on biased actions of ourselves or others:
Many conflicts are fueled by unexamined biases. I’ve become more aware of biases around me -- in myself and in others. Learning more about these biases, I’m trying to slow my thinking down and self-reflect, so I don’t find myself controlled by my biases.
When I find myself having acted in a way that might have been biased, I try to be humble, name my actions, and pledge to do better. Just like everyone else, I'm a work in progress. If you've caught yourself acting with bias, give yourself a break, apologize sincerely, and reflect on ways to improve going forward, such as using the PAUSE technique to help you off the bias highway:
P – Pay Attention to what’s beneath the judgment: Event vs. Interpretation.
A – Acknowledge or identify your reaction/interpretation/judgments.
U – Understand other possible reactions/interpretations/judgments.
S – Search for constructive, empowering, productive ways to manage.
E – Execute your action plan. Act consistently with what makes the most sense.
Consider telling people when you've had bias targeted at you:
If you have the strength, energy and desire, it can be helpful to let others know when you experienced their actions as biased. Telling people how they have affected you expands other's awareness and gives you the chance to make bias more understood.
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