Twenty Years Later… A Brother is Born for Adversity

August 2, 2006….. the day my son took his final breath.

How can it have been 20 years…………….

I remember that day so vividly. I remember those soul-piercing words that took my breath away and changed my life forever. “We are sorry to inform you that your son, Navy SEAL Marc Lee, has been killed in action.”

I had been a widow for 12 years and survived that grief, but this is my child. How can I breathe again…………….

Grief has a way of stealing your breath.

Yet when I felt like I couldn’t breathe, God breathed for me.

He comforted me and carried me when I didn’t have the strength to stand.

In the midst of the pain, He gave me a new purpose and passion. He continues to heal that heart that I thought would never beat again.

Twenty years later, I can look back and see what God has done with every breath He has given me.

I’ve watched veterans who once struggled with traumatic brain injuries, post-traumatic stress, and suicidal thoughts find hope and healing. Men and women who didn’t want to take another breath are now excited to live again.

I’ve watched Gold Star families who were drowning in grief discover they weren’t alone. We’ve had the privilege of providing comfort, hope, encouragement, and helping them heal and find peace.

I’ve watched military families in crisis breathe a sigh of relief when they receive help within hours through our Random Acts of Kindness grants for medical bills, funeral expenses, home adaptations, and emergency needs, reminding them they are not alone in their crisis.

I’ve watched little children hug a Build-A-Bear we gave them with Daddy’s recorded voice inside, giving them the comfort of hearing his voice while he was deployed.

What a legacy Marc has left in twenty years.

On the twentieth anniversary of Marc’s death, Task Unit Bruiser gathered in San Diego.

For three days there was laughter, catching up, stories, hugs, memories, and some tears. I’ve been blessed over the years to spend time with many of Marc’s teammates, and every time I’m reminded there is something incredibly special about the bond between brothers.

Sunday morning, before we headed to Fort Rosecrans, I was spending my usual quiet time with the Lord.

I wasn’t looking for a special message for the day.

I was simply reading where I had left off.

Then I came to Proverbs 17.

My eyes stopped on verse 17.

“A friend loves at all times, and a BROTHER is born for adversity.”

I smiled.

How perfect for today.

God’s Word is always so relevant for life.

Then I remembered the shirt I had chosen to wear that morning was our Marc Lee Memorial shirt

Across the back, underneath the field cross, was one word.

Brotherhood.



That’s no coincidence…..that verse……this shirt……and the Brotherhood had gathered that weekend.

The night before, during dinner, I shared a story about Marc that always makes me smile.

Marc loved giving gifts.

Not just giving them…finding the perfect one.

He would spend hours searching for exactly the right gift, but once he found it, he could hardly wait for you to open it.

One Christmas he came home with my gift already wrapped. He proudly showed it to me and begged me to open it right then.

I told him, “No! Put it under the tree or I won’t have anything to open on Christmas morning.”

He couldn’t wait.

Within minutes, he ripped the paper off himself because he couldn’t contain his excitement and wanted to see my face when I opened it.

It was a beautiful gold flatware set that matched my china perfectly. He wanted me to use it for Christmas dinner.

That was Marc……..

In January, several months after Marc was killed, I drove from Arizona to San Diego to meet with his teammates for dinner.

They knew I was bringing each of them a surprise.

During my first meeting with President Bush, I had taken the Charlie Platoon team picture and shared who each of the men were and that special bond they had. I asked if he would personalize and sign one for every member of the platoon.

He graciously did, and that was the surprise I was bringing for them.

To my surprise, when I arrived, they had booked me the Presidential Suite at the Grand Hyatt. It was massive, unlike any hotel room I had ever stayed in, and it had an amazing view of the city. I suggested ordering food and staying in the suite for dinner.

That evening, before I gave them their gift, I told them the Christmas story about Marc and his love for giving gifts.

Then I looked around the room and shared my realization:

“You, each one of you…..are Marc’s final gift to me.”

At the time, I knew this was a special gift and that they were extraordinary men.

I had no idea just how priceless that gift would become.

Over the last twenty years, the relationships have deepened. They’ve become family and embraced me as “MommaLee.” Marc didn’t just leave me memories; he left me his brothers.

God knew exactly what I would need before I ever realized it.

Marc’s final gift to me…

was his Brotherhood.

My thoughts went back to what the day would bring, as we honored and remembered Marc 20 years after he had died. Oh, how much I still miss Marc….. I met Leif, Jenna, and their kids at the car, and we drove up to Fort Rosecrans.

A large group had met at the entrance, but we drove straight to Marc’s grave as we had a big wreath and his picture and stand to place. There was already a large gathering of people at his grave. I got out of the car and walked to his headstone. I carefully placed the wreath, Marc’s picture, and other flowers so they wouldn’t blow over in the breeze.

Then I stepped back and looked at Marc’s headstone to focus and reflect. I could feel the emotions swelling.

Then came the tears.

It never gets easy to see your child’s name engraved on a headstone or memorial wall.

Quietly I prayed,

“Lord…please help me.”

The crowd that had gathered at the entrance started to walk down the hill. Over a hundred people from Task Unit Bruiser and their families had gathered twenty years later.

Marc loved deeply, and he is deeply loved.

The chaplain prayed, and then several of Marc’s teammates shared stories and memories. I waited until I thought everyone was done.

I began with the words that had been on my heart all morning.

“Twenty years ago, Marc took his final breath.”

I paused.

Emotions surfacing again, only stronger.

“I didn’t think I would ever be able to breathe again…”

The tears came, and it seemed like forever before I could control the emotions and continue.

When I finally gathered myself, I looked around at the men standing there.

The Brotherhood.

The verse I had read that morning suddenly wasn’t just a verse anymore.

It was the story God had been writing for twenty years.

“A brother is born for adversity.”

Ramadi forged a brotherhood born through deep adversity and loss.

Marc’s sacrifice brought us together and became the beginning of the bond I would share with these men. An adversity that none of us would have chosen. Yet through that adversity, God created something beautiful.

Over the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege of watching them become husbands, fathers, and leaders. I’ve celebrated weddings, rejoiced over the births of their children, honored promotions, applauded retirements, cried with them at far too many funerals, and watched them answer God’s call to new missions in life.

Twenty years later, they still gather.

They still laugh together.

They still remember.

They still carry one another’s burdens.

That kind of brotherhood isn’t ordinary.

It was forged in the adversity of Ramadi.

It was strengthened by sacrifice.

And it continues because of love.

Somehow, by God’s grace, He allowed me to become part of that family too.

I shared with them that morning that years ago, while Marc was in Ramadi, he called, and during that conversation he tried to explain “the Brotherhood” to me.

I remember questioning him, “As close as you were with the brother you grew up with for 28 years?”

And he replied, “Yes, Mom, that close.”

I reminded him that I had not birthed them, so they couldn’t be his brothers, and we left it at that.

The week Marc died, I had several of his teammates in my home, and I started to see that they loved him as much as we did and they were hurting as much as we were. I now saw what Marc was trying to explain to me. There was a very special connection and bond, and they were indeed his “Brothers.”

As I stood there at Marc’s grave, I shared something the Lord has been teaching me over the past year.

For years I would say, “I get to see the impact Marc is still making…but would I rather have him back? Yes, in a heartbeat.”

Then about a year ago, I was on the phone sharing those same words.

I started to say them again.

“But would I rather have Marc back…”

I stopped.

I couldn’t finish the sentence.

Instead, I looked up to Heaven and quietly said,

“Sorry, Marc…I can’t say that anymore.”

I proceeded to tell that person that if I meant taking back all the good that has been done—every veteran whose life has been saved from suicide, every Gold Star family we have given hope to and walked alongside and provided comfort, every Random Act of Kindness, every life touched because God brought beauty from unimaginable tragedy…NO…I wouldn’t want that.

I shared that even if I could bargain a deal with God and get Marc back here, Marc would be so upset with me.

“Why would you do that, Mom????

Do you know how amazing Heaven is? I’m in the presence of our Savior!”

Marc isn’t missing out or wishing he could come back.

He’s exactly where he longed to be.

He was a man who loved Jesus Christ with all his heart, and I know beyond any doubt that one day I’ll see him again. That is the unshakable hope we have as believers.

So, yes, I still miss my son every day, but grief no longer has the final word…….Hope does.

Marc wasn’t defeated; he was redeployed to Heaven. That’s Victory!!

I’m ready whenever God calls me home, but until then, by God’s strength, I will give 100% to the mission He called me to. I will continue to love and provide hope, healing, comfort, respite, and encouragement to those who serve and defend us and their families.

I will count my blessings daily and thank God for one of Marc’s greatest gifts to me,

His Brotherhood.

SAVE THE DATE

MARC'S BDAY BASH

MARCH 20, 2027

SCOTTSDALE GUN CLUB

ONE NIGHT. ONE MISSION. ONE EPIC CELEBRATION.

We’re gearing up to make Marc’s Birthday Bash 2027 the BEST ONE YET!

Come ready to celebrate Navy SEAL Marc Lee, honor his legacy, and stand with the Troops, Veterans, and Gold Star Families who continue the fight.

STAY TUNED.

THE MISSION IS ON.

MARCH 20, 2027

BE THERE.

Kaui's Korner

I had one of those calls recently that just stuck with me. One of our guys is about three weeks into his HBOT treatments. He came into the program dealing with a lot of the things we see with TBI and PTS, and when we talked, I could immediately hear something different in him.

He told me, “I feel so positive now and I am filled with gratitude.”

Man, that’s a big deal!

Three weeks in, and to hear that kind of positivity and gratitude coming from someone who has been struggling—that’s the stuff that matters.

We can talk about numbers, treatments, and outcomes all day, but sometimes it’s as simple as hearing the change in a guy’s voice.

He’s not finished. There’s still work to do. But he’s moving forward, and we get to be a part of that.

That’s why we do this.

Stay the course—and Stay Mighty,

Kaui