Rabbi's Letter

November 6, 2018
28 Heshvan 5779
Why are familial relationships so hard, well, heavens, lets be real, why are all human relationships so hard to manage? I believe that this is one of the greatest mysteries of the human condition. Why is it so difficult for human beings to get along?

Dear friends,

This week the Torah portion is Toldot and it contains one of the saddest stories in the whole Torah. It’s not so sad because of the story itself, it’s so sad because the story we read about is such a familiar story. Brothers who are born fighting and waste lifetimes in battle.  Jacob and Rebecca have twins, and before they are even born they are fighting in her womb. And if that isn’t sad enough, Isaac, their father, declares that he loves Esau best and Rebecca, their mother, declares that she loves Jacob best. And here begins the heartbreak!

How to unravel such a twisted and tangled reality of human relationships should be a preoccupation for all of us, for it always starts here, in the circle of a single family.  But, it widens and widens until it reaches all segments of human life. Hate, fear and suspicion all erode the human condition. Everyone knows of what I speak. We all know how difficult it is to make and keep peace in our world. Today, family relationships gone wrong are the seeds of the political hatred that we are seeing overtake our society these days.

Jacob and Esau were the first to have their story told, and it is still up to us to keep searching for the roads to peace, high and low, wherever we can find them. That is one of the built-in responsibilities that come with the privilege of being able to be alive. Never to give up on the search for peace. Oh God, give us strength to stay the steady course, never to be derailed onto paths of hatred. It is so easy to get drawn into the madness - help us God to stay strong and diligent in search of peace.

I happen to be, at the time of this writing, on an airplane heading for Los Angeles. Months before Florence even showed her angry face in Wilmington, I had set aside these few days aside to go to California to be with my children and have an early Thanksgiving together. Every year when Thanksgiving comes, I have, like clock work, an existential crisis in my heart.  I live 3,000 miles away from my most beloved children and grandchildren. That of course is in competition with the love I feel for my congregation. I had decided that the answer to my crisis was to make sure to have a thanksgiving meal with my children, even if it had to be in June! So November 7 th will be the Kozlow Thanksgiving!

On a side, Mayor Saffo happens to be on the same flight as I am. It’s nice to see a friendly face on board. He is on his way to a Mayors meeting in Los Angeles. They sure know how to pick a city for their meetings! I think next time it should be in Wilmington!

I was sorry to have had my flight cancelled yesterday, which has pushed back my return so that I won’t be able to be back by Shabbat. Our president, Barry Weiss will hold the fort down and he does a superb job at leading services! 

Unfortunately, I now will also miss the UJA evening at Soif de Vin. I was very excited to enjoy this event with the entire Jewish community. I had been asked to help organize it. It was a joy putting the evening together. I hope it is a success so that we can put it on our list of wonderful things for us all to do together to build community. Rabbi Emily and I were going to share Havdallah but she will do a wonderful job as well. Thank you UJA for sponsoring this event.
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I would like to extend a heartfelt Mazel Tov to Brittney Zimmer and Brian Samson who were wed this past week. I had the great honor and pleasure to officiate the ceremony. The Bride was beautiful beyond words and the love between Brittney and Brian was both heart warming as well as inspiring. I wish for them a lifetime of happiness, of meaning, and my prayer is that they will always be a shelter of love for one another forever more.
MAZEL TOV!!!!!!
I’d also like to say a hearty Mazel Tov to the Moskowitz family who just welcomed their first grandchild to the world... Mac Moskowitz.
MAZEL TOV!
Thank you to all of you who have called to RSVP for our November 18 th turkey give away with SUPPORT THE PORT. All those who are joining me will be meeting at the Synagogue at 3PM on Sunday the 18 th and we will head over together.

Soul Food Sunday Movie and a Meal/Turkey 
&
Family Feast Box Giveaway
Sunday, Nov. 18th 4-7pm
I am also deeply grateful to the Compass Point contingent of our membership, for offering to host our “GUEST CHEFS” Shabbat dinner on the 16 th of November. How fabulous is that? Please RSVP to Kate. There is a charge for this dinner to cover the costs of the food but it is worth every penny. I believe that it is very important for us to share a Friday night Shabbat meal together once a month. It is such a special evening. I loved sharing a real Shabbat in Israel with our Israel trip travelers. There was a special ingredient that cannot be bought in a store that’s called Shabbat! It is added to the food on Shabbat. It is so spiritually nourishing. 

$10 Members, $15 non-members, $20 maximum
Believe it or not Hanukkah is only a month away. Wow! How did that happen? We have a few changes this year, which seems par for the course given the strange year that we are experiencing since September. Our wonderful Klezmer band cannot make it this year due to illness. They promise to be back in 2019, but this year it is impossible for them to make it. Therefore, I am looking for DJ, only for this year. I have asked Rav Waxman to help me gather the music, as that is truly his specialty. If anyone has a lead on a great DJ, please give me a call.

Another change this year is that due to all of the extra fund raising from every sector of our lives following the hurricane, we are going to follow the lead of many fund-raising events this year by not having a “Silent Auction.” It seems that everyone is taxed to the hilt so that we will hold off until next year when we can resume our normal, “coolest silent auction in town.” If anyone absolutely feels that they MUST donate something, we will be happy to raffle them off at the party.

Right now, I am looking for those who would like to help pull this party together. Thank you to Rena Goldwasser who has come on Board to assist. Please give your rabbi a call and help us throw another great Hanukkah party. We need the joy! I’ll wait to hear from you.

Our Hanukkah party will be, Sunday December 9 th at 4PM.

The Mayor has already agreed to join us again, we will have a candle lighting ceremony in the Sanctuary followed by music, Kavanotes, dancing, food, jelly doughnuts, dreidles, Photo booth and fun for all.
I invite you all to a great evening to support The Good Shepherd Center at one of their annual fund raisers. This is always a fabulous evening with a fabulous cause. I would love to welcome you all to join in.
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It has been so wonderful to get school back up and running. Hard to believe that we are going into our fourth year. One of the new innovations for this year’s curriculum is that both the children as well as their parents are learning the same “Jewish value.” I have the older children in class with me, but each week I prepare a lesson for the parents to discuss. They have been hanging out in the kitchen and talking about the same stories that the children are learning. And then to take it a step further, I want to share with you what we are studying as well, in case you’d like to join in the learning. Every person at School received two pieces of paper to keep in their pockets, and here’s what that is all about.

                                 Two Pockets

1)    It was said of Reb Simcha Bunem that he carried two slips of paper, one in each pocket.

2)    On one he wrote:  Bishvili nivra ha-olam —“for my sake the world was created.”On the other he wrote:  V’anokhi afar v’efer ”—“I am but dust and ashes.”
3)     He would take out each slip of paper as necessary, as a reminder to himself. The two pockets suggest a kind of balance that we need to achieve, as we walk through this world. 
Friends, there are so many congregant birthdays this month, and I wish each of you the very best of joy. There is one person though who I believe that we should all know and that is November 10 th when Kate Maclay our wonderful administrator, will celebrate her birthday. Kate, we are so grateful for the gifts of kindness and commitment to our little Shul that you constantly share with us all. Happiest of Birthdays, we are so happy that we found you and that you are now a part of our family. 

Happy Birthday Kate!
Thank you to everyone who has been visiting Steve Glazer. He is working so hard with rehab. We believe in you Steve. Keep up the good work!
I would like to thank Ivan and Lana who have agreed to help me get my sermons put on You Tube. The technology is quite beyond me but thankfully, not beyond them. Soon we will begin to tape some of my sermons and post them. I am hopefull that we will also be able to get them on Shul Cloud. Stay Tuned!
I am so excited to begin our Lunch and Learn series on November 14 th at Noon. Our topic this year will be to take a close look at the foundational beliefs of Judaism and attempt to follow their threads to create Jewish culture.

Please be sure to RSVP to Kate in the office so that Nikki and Noa can know how many people to prepare lunch for.
Looking forward to getting our heads back in the books.
It was a very special Shabbat last week, in our Sanctuary, both Friday evening as well as Saturday morning. So many of you chose to show your solidarity with your people, following the heart wrenching murders in Pittsburg, that you decided to spend Shabbat with us. Our numbers were greatly expanded. We also had several of our Christian friends showing up to show their support of us as well. It was a very meaningful Shabbat. As you can imagine, it was quite a week to write a sermon. I wanted to share with you the sermon I wrote for last Shabbat.  In an ideal world, a Rabbi would be able to share his or her weekly words with her entire congregation. This is my way of trying to reach all of us, especially in the face of such trying times.

Rabbi Kozlow’s Chai Sarah Sermon, in the wake of Pittsburg

What a week. 

It was one week ago that gunfire and rage rang out in warfare against our brothers and sisters and our sacred prayers.

For those of us who come to this room every week, every Shabbat, we know exactly what that room last week at the Tree of Life Conservative synagogue, looked like, felt like. We know the smell of the air, the soothing prayers, the kind faces that rush to greet each other. The sense of family that transcends bloodlines and family trees.

We are them, as they are us. 

These shots fired were aimed at all of us - at all people who are seen as the other, at the “different ones” who become the world’s easy targets.

How often do I speak of our mission here at Bnai Israel to create a sacred space in our world where we can gather to focus our lives on all in life that truly matters most? I have called it a safe place, a haven, a sanctuary, a respite from the madness of the world. A place where we know that life is about God and love, not money, not power, not status, only love, love for each other, love for tradition, love for the high ideals that inspire the Jewish religion and that give us our meaningful legacy.

How can such violence even exist in a room like this? How God, is this even possible?

As we prayed the same prayers, mouthed the same words, the Tree of Life Synagogue shattered under the weight of hatred and violence - a mighty dangerous duo. A heart of hatred and a gun!

And what a week has followed.

Gregory A. Bush, another white surpremist, tried to burst into a black Church in Kentucky to kill Blacks, the day right after Squirrel Hill, Thank Goodness, the door was locked, and so he went to the local Kroger and killed a black couple who were out shopping. Maurice Stallard and Vickie Jones are both dead. He just wanted to kill Black folks.

The chief rabbi In Israel sends his condolences but makes sure to state that he will not call the Squirrel Hill synagogue a synagogue. If it isn’t Orthodox he does not recognize it as a synagogue.

How crazy is that?
Well here’s something even crazier.

Our own Vice President invites a messianic Christian who calls himself a Jewish rabbi, to say a prayer for the 11 dead. This man is a Christian who calls himself a Jewish rabbi, well, just because he does.  His appropriating theology supports the idea that all Jews will burn in hell for eternity if we do not accept Jesus. This is the clergy Pence chose to pray for our people in the shadow of the massacre of 11 innocents who could NEVER believe what he espouses. I am speechless, and outraged. I called the White House about that one.

While on the other side of things, so many wonderful people have reached out to us all. I remember myself calling the Church in Charleston when they were massacred in June of 2015, when a 21-year-old white surpremacist shot up their church during bible study and killed 8 innocents. He said he just wanted to kill black folks.

Just like, Robert Bowers, the suspect in the mass shooting at Tree of Life Synagogue in Squirrel Hill, who said proud and clear, he just wants to kill Jews.

He, by the way, pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Thursday morning. He has also requested a jury trial. No doubt he feels certain that his peers will understand him. How frightening is that? 

Yesterday a synagogue in Los Angeles was desecrated by graffiti that had less then gentle adjectives to describe us along with the usual swastika. 

Another desecration of a Jewish Synagogue in New York, in Las Vegas, at Duke University, and this isn’t the whole list, which is growing as we speak. 

I know this list could go on and on, and I’m not here to be the reaper of darkness, because somehow, I know that is not my passion. This Rabbi does believe that this world can be changed, that it can be redeemed, that somehow, some way, if it can be imagined, it can be, and I will never stop imagining what it is we are striving to build in this world. Never! My Jewish heritage reminds me every moment of every day what we are striving for.

But the beginning of solving the problems we face hides not being afraid to talk about one dirty little word, a word so terrifying that Rabbis either run from it in fear of loosing their jobs, or run to it, knowing that they can't be a leader of our people without talking about it.

In fact, I was told to “avoid” this word at last week’s vigil. I don’t think I did avoid it, first it’s not my style to be told what to say or not to say, but I just say it in my own, Jewish way. You guessed it! The word, is politics. 

If our world looks good to you now, then stay the steady course, and that would be, what we call, “your “ politics. Because there is no such thing as not being political. Once you state that you are not political, you have just stated your politics. 

Not being political is a first world choice. If you had your basic human rights threatened, you would have no such choice.

Politics is how humans live.  Politics reflect the values that inspire human beings to design their world. Politics is the way that society includes everyone, or chooses not to care about everyone. Politics is alive in how you live and how you vote reflects how you live.

Politics is what you’re going to do with the world as you find it. Politics is always what you do with the world as you find it and the measure is two-fold; one, how does it serve my needs, and two, how does it serve the needs of the larger community, the overall human good?

And being non-political means you’re just not going to do anything at all.

Well that approach just isn’t going to work any more because the news feeds are not going to die down. There are not going to be fewer massacres in school, churches, synagogues, restaurants, theatres. No, it is not going to decrease. No, it is going to increase.

The Torah demands,  lo tukhal l'hitaleim , "You must not remain indifferent to life.” The Torah says, "The law makes a moral appeal to conscience, but possesses no legal sanction."

With this declaration, the Torah is giving us less a law to follow, but more an approach to life: we must be oriented to being engaged, being not only aware of injustice, but having a desire and motivation to do something about it.

In his essay, "No Time for Neutrality," Heschel wrote, "Most vividly the Jews feel that the world is not redeemed, that the present order of things is appalling. There is no anxiety in Judaism about personal salvation. What matters is universal salvation" (78). This is a shot across the bow of those religious tendencies that focus on personal fulfillment and growth to the diminishment of social action. Judaism is far more about relating to the other than it is about relating to the self.

A Catholic priest, who is a friend, tells me that the best way to take care of our problems is to get involved with someone else's. Not to abandon the other, which seems to reflect the impulse of our times.

One of my goals as a Rabbi is to help Jews develop an inclination to become engaged, to be aware of injustice, and to be motivated to act regularly to alleviate it. Because this IS what has sustained our people throughout years of exile as refugees, never having a home of our own. We exist to show the world that injustice, no matter who is the recipient of that injustice, demands protection and an outstretched arm. No human being can be tolerated as a homeless refugee. No human soul should be tolerated as a refugee on this planet. No one. After all, it doesn’t, belong to us, this earth is God's.
This is politics, engaging the world. Indifference cannot be indulged and voting speaks of your engagement, your investment, your passion for the world, or not, but that is your politics.

Like the emotional roller coaster of the events of this past week, every emotion of my own soul has been ignited. The most intense moment came when I read a poem, written by Zev Steinberg a writer for Kvelle, a Jewish publication.

It summed up all other emotions, all other ideas, all other preoccupations that held me captive this week and it made me cry. I cried for sadness, I cried for hope, I cried for how desperately trying life can be and how so many will suffer after this past week's loss of beloved human life, in a way that now that will never be quenched, it will never again be okay. But I also cried because it reminded me how beautiful a heritage we have been given and how proud and lucky I feel to be one of the leaders of this mission-driven people, carrying love and goodness throughout time.

How truly blessed am I, how truly blessed are we!


This poem was dedicated to the baby who was to be named at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, PA on Shabbat morning, October 27, 2018.

Little boy, what’s your name – do you have one?
Sweet baby, just eight days, what should we call you?
I have heard the sacred circumcision postponed for jaundiced yellow,
but never before for bloodshed red.

Is your name  Shalom ? We long for peace in this troubled world. I hope you are Shalom.

Is your name  Nachum ? Oh, how we need to be comforted in our grief. I hope you are Nachum.

Is your name  Raphael ? Our broken hearts and bleeding souls need healing. I hope you are Raphael.

You should have been carried high into the congregation on Shabbat morning – past from loving hands to loving hands – on a cushioned pillow to receive your Jewish name.

Instead your elders fell and were carried out on stretchers in plastic bags. Their names on tags.

Is your name  Moshe ? Our unbearable anguish and rage demands justice. I hope you are Moshe.

Is your name  Ariel ? We need the ferocious strength of lions to protect our people. I hope you are Ariel.

Is your name  Barak ? We need courageous warriors to vanquish our enemies. I hope you are Barak.

The blood on Shabbat morning was supposed to be covenantal not sacrilegious, sacramental not sacrificial, sacred not unholy. The tears were supposed to be of boundless joy not bottomless sorrow.

The cries were supposed to be “mazel tov” not the mourner’s kaddish.
Is your name  Simcha ? We need an end to sadness by bringing joy into our world. I hope you are Simcha.

Is your name  Yaron ? We need an end to mourning by bringing song into our lives. I hope you are Yaron.

Is your name  Matan ? We need the gift of children who will bring a better tomorrow. I hope you are Matan.

So little boy, what’s your name? Take them all if you will. Take a thousand names. Be peace and Comfort and Healing. Be Justice and Strength and Courage. Be Joy and Song and a Gift to the world. Be every good name and every good thing.

And, Sweet baby, take one more name if you will – because I hope you will be blessed with a long, blissful, beautiful and meaningful life…

I hope you are  Chaim .
My friends,

Come to B’nai Israel, show your face, take your place. We are building this spiritual home for all of you. Don’t underestimate how desperately your soul needs a place to breath safe, to be among your fellow Jews, to hear the ancient sounds of our melodic prayers, to gather in strength and map out a course of peace through what is promising to be a trying time for all. Come home.
One day, all humanity will understand the true story being told in this picture. That’s where God is.
באהבה ושלום

Shabbat Shalom to all!
 
הרב אלישבע בת דוד ודבורה
 
Rabbi Julie Kozlow
(910) 762-1117 ~ B'nai Israel phone
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