Dear Friends,

Today has been a profoundly sad and troubling day for me. Candidly, among the saddest and most troubling of my 24+ years in ordained ministry.

As you know, for decades Christ Church has flown two flags at the front of our Great Doors. To the right, the flag of The Episcopal Church proclaims our unique heritage within the Christian tradition, the distinctive blend of our ancient catholic inheritance and the particularities of the English protestant movement from whence we come. To the left, the flag of The United States of America stands to remind us not only of the common community of which we are a part, but the primary community to which we have been sent with the message of God’s grace and the hope of God’s heavenly Kin(g)dom.

A few years ago, I added a third flag to “the pole” – the Progress Pride Flag, a reminder to our community of our particular welcome, friendship, and affection for all people. 

This morning, we found that vandals had burned this flag.

I have no idea what was racing through the mind of this, or these, individual(s) when they set flame to the flag. They may have been seething with hatred toward the LGBTQ+ community for some perceived loss which they had experienced. They may have thought themselves to be filled with “the righteousness of God” (not true!), sent to proclaim God’s perceived judgement on homosexuality (again, not true!). They may have been teens acting out a violence they had learned from their parents and generations who have used intimidations such as this to keep an “other” in her place. 

And I have no idea what this, or these, individual(s) felt as the last remnants of the flag fell to the ground. Perhaps there was elation at their defiant act. Perhaps there was quiet satisfaction at the stand they had taken. Perhaps there was shame and remorse for the unkindness which strikes at the very core of our humanity.

What I do know, is the impact this has had on me, what it points to in our community, and what it may mean for our parish community.

And for me, the impact is profound sadness.

I am profoundly sad that friends of mine and members of our beloved community here at Christ Church and throughout the Grosse Pointes live with this threat of violence and intimidation every day. 

EVERY DAY! 

It’s not overt, it’s not a fist in your face or a yelled taunt on every corner, but there’s just enough in the air or on the airwaves to remind our friends not only that they are not entirely welcomed “here” (or anywhere), but that they had better be careful, too. 

I am profoundly sad that intimidation – yelled insults, burning flags, overt violence, disparaging remarks, and the myriad of ways we publicly diminish another without lifting a finger – remains an acceptable form of discourse in our public square. I am profoundly sad that we have so glorified “our unvarnished selves” (perversely called our “true selves”) that we tolerate bigotry and hatred and violence (in word as much as in deed) not only in the news, but in the halls of government, and, consequently, in the halls of our schools and the front lawns of our churches. 

I am profoundly sad that this act of violence threatens the very core of our being as committed Christians. But not just as Christians. Every act of violence threatens, too, the core of our humanity and our unique vocation as a community of Christ. You see, every act or threat of violence, draws us further into a life of fear and, thus, into greater inhumanity toward one another. We begin to look askance at “the other,” wondering if we should fear or trust them. We more readily push “the other” into some stereotyped tribe, so as to avoid or dismiss their needs and concerns. And we more willingly accept the evil of violence as the natural cost of our security.

And so, every act and every threat of violence quietly chips away at the compassionate heart of Christ which is our true humanity and gathers us as a people of the most profound Hope.

What now?

Pray

First, I prayed. I prayed for the victims of overt violence and hatred in our communities. I prayed, too, for the victims of silent hatred and intimidation within our community – those men and women, young and old, who, out of fear choose to hide behind a perfected persona rather than allowing their true heart to be seen and known. I prayed, too, for our teens and tweens who are only beginning to explore their sexuality and interests, all while silently being told to “choose wisely” lest they be shamed or humiliated or, worst of all, become a victim of violence themselves. I prayed, too, for the individuals responsible for this violation, for whom violence is their only remaining hope.

Finally, I prayed that my heart and mind would be rooted in God’s vulnerable grace and compassion, and that I may possess sufficient wisdom to guide us as a community to be our best selves for one another and our neighbors. 

These prayers continue.

Reporting

Then I did what must be done and filed a police report with the Grosse Pointe Farms Police Department.

Retirement

After my “witness statement” had been collected and photographs taken, I prayerfully and delicately removed the charred remnants of the flag from the lawn and flagpole. Even now, they are laying on my desk, a tragic reminder of the violence so many endure and a sacrament to the Way of Love to which we are called. I’m not quite sure what I will do with them, but they are no more destined for the waste bin than is the Body of Him who has shown us love beyond measure. 

Replacement

Next, I purchased a new flag. Love will not be silenced. Christ Church remains, proudly, a community where all people are welcomed, where God’s grace is proclaimed, and where the Hope of God’s Kingdom is practiced and enjoyed.

Beloving

I will admit that this is among the most difficult of paths to walk. It goes without saying that the safety of all members of our community, especially our children and youth, is of the utmost concern. I was grateful to learn from the responding officer that there have been no (recent) similar acts of intimidation or violence within the any of the Grosse Pointes and that this does not appear to be part of an increase of hatred.

That said, I will continue to confer with local authorities to assess the risk to our community and with parish leadership to determine our response.

And yet, we mustn’t forget that we are also preserving and proclaiming a way of being in the world—a way of being with one another and with strangers and even those with whom we disagree or may be uncomfortable around—that is guided by openness, affection, and mercy.

In His Love,