Feeling trapped during this pandemic has been an experience that many human beings have shared. Imagine for a moment that feeling of entrapment encased with feelings of guilt, shame, remorse and even existential dread. For many experiencing domestic violence, intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking, this is a daily reoccurrence that has lasted for what feels like a lifetime.
As an advocate, I have been fortunate enough to encounter survivors of all ages, races, and genders who have defied the odds and crossed the bridge to what they like to call “greener pastures.” One survivor story that will forever resonate with me began with a young lady that was just 18 years old. Let’s call her Betty in honor of the late and great Betty White, who was a survivor in her own right.
Betty struggled with addiction from adolescence to young adulthood but always lit up the room, despite her internal battle with her own demons. Months passed before I began to truly understand how deep Betty's demons were. Betty began to open up, and when she did, you could see the years of trauma avalanching off her like snow down the side of a mountain. Betty shared that her addiction began when her parents sold her…yes, you read that right SOLD HER…a few months before her 13th birthday. After the “deed was done,” as Betty put it, she began to cope the only way she knew how, the only way her parents taught her how, with methamphetamines.
Years passed and Betty continued to work on herself, opening up to several others like myself. I am happy to report she made it across that bridge to “greener pastures” and is living a fulfilling life with her young children.
Betty’s story has stayed with me for so many years because of one statement she made to me. At the time, I did not know this statement would shape my professional career but, in many ways, it did. Betty said, “it only takes someone to listen for someone to feel like they matter.” Being an advocate means being that someone to listen. No matter how small of an impact you feel you are making, you are making one, beginning with being that someone who listens.
