Spring, 2017
A Walk in the PARC Newsletter
Adoptive Moms
by Kirsten Johanson
The following blog post is from a local adoptive mom who attended January's "Adoptive & Foster Moms' Night Out".  Please join us for the next Moms' Night Out on Tuesday, April 11, 2017, 6:30pm-8:30pm, at Cool Beans Cafe, Madison.
A couple of years ago, I was brought to my knees by an article in The Huffington Post called Dear Mom of an Adopted Child.” I was in the midst of waiting for an adoption match. The process caused me to be very focused inward at the time. Of course, the end result would separate our child from his family of birth and unite him with our family. In the coming months and years my sense of self would change. I would stop seeing adoption in the view of how it changes me and I would focus on how it changes my son, his birth mother, his birth father, his birth and adoptive grandparents, my family, my friends, and my community. I would be brought to my knees time and again with the weight and magnitude of love, loss, family, community, bravery, empathy, compassion, and vulnerability.

I share the article [above] because it encompassed where I was two years ago. Last night I realized that it still strongly resonates with me. I met with a group of adoptive moms for coffee. I teared up when a woman in front of me said “hi” while we were ordering our coffee. She knew. She knew that I would be headed to the same room as her in the back of the coffee shop. She knew at first glance that I was a kindred spirit. She knew that I was an adoptive mom.

A group of adoptive moms meet quarterly in my area for coffee. This was my first visit to the group. I was the first woman to cry that night, but I was not the last. We shared without back story. We shared without side notes to explain a home study, adoption education requirements, termination of parental rights, open versus closed adoptions, or adoption terminology. We shared with understanding. We shared with the longing to hear others echo our thoughts and voices and concerns.

I recently finished listening to Brene Brown read her book Rising Strong. At the end of the book, she includes her Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted. Adoptive mamas, this is us.

“MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers Than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise With skinned knees and bruised hearts; We choose owning our stories of struggle, Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending. When we deny our stories, they define us. When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye. We will not be characters in our stories. Not villains, not victims, not even heroes. We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings. We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment, courage from failure. Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. We are rising strong.” — Brene Brown, Rising Strong

We craft love from heartbreak.

The new addition of our family, the new love, the expansion of our unit — this all comes from the heartbreak of others. Our lives, our families, our stories are Brene’s words. Mamas, stay strong. We are rising strong.

“Showing up is our power.

Story is our way home.

Truth is our song.

We are the brave and brokenhearted.

We are rising strong.”

 The 2017 Federal Adoption Tax Credit
There is great news for prospective adoptive parents. The federal adoption tax credit that had expired on December 31, 2012, was reenacted in the beginning of 2013. Indeed, Congress not only revived the tax credit in the American Taxpayer Relief Bill, it made it permanent.

For 2017, the federal adoption tax credit is $13,570...

More Articles about the Adoption Tax Credit:

Changes to the Adoption Credit for 2017:  http://www.adopthelp.com/adoption-tax-credit-changes-2017/

2016 Adoption Credit Information: http://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/adoption_tax_credit

Upcoming events in and around southern Wisconsin
Introduction to Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Seminar

   Presenter: Lori DuRussel, TBRI® Trainer
 Tuesday, April 4, 2017, 6pm - 8pm 
Post Adoption Resource Center
Holy Name Heights, 702 S. High Point Road
Madison WI  53719
Parenting is challenging! As your child moves through tantrums, sulks, anxiety,  and rages, it  can be tough to know how to parent effectively. This is particularly true in adoptive or foster families where children have experienced early trauma or loss.

TBRI® is an attachment-based, trauma-informed parenting approach designed to help parents meet the complex needs of vulnerable children. Join us in this introductory seminar to learn   the basics of TBRI and get some specific tools to not only manage your child’s behavior, but a lso to strengthen your connection to your child.

Cost: $5 per person. Includes pizza dinner!

Click HERE to register or visit https://www.eventbrite.com/e/introduction-to-trust-based-relational-intervention-tbri-tickets-32634854729

Questions? Please contact us at postadoption@ccmadison.org,
(608) 826-8009, or (800) 236-4673 Toll-Free

Adoptive & Foster Moms’ Night Out

Tuesday, April 11, 2017, 6:30pm – 8:30pm

Cool Beans Café, 1748 Eagan Road, Madison, WI  53704  

Join PARC for an evening connecting with other moms.  Open to all pre-adoptive, post-adoptive, and foster moms.  We will meet in the private room in the back of the café.   

RSVP to Judi at postadoption@ccmadison.org (608) 826-8009 or (800) 236-4673 

Note:  If there are dads interested in forming a "Dads' Night Out", please email postadoption@ccmadison.org

Always in My Heart:
A Retreat for Birthmothers

Saturday, May 6, 2017,  10am - 4pm

Retreat Location:
Catholic Charities
Adult Day Center
1919 N 60th Street
Milwaukee, WI 53208

This day is for birthmothers at any stage in their adoption
journey whether they've placed many years ago or just last week.  

With opportunities to share (as they are comfortable) stories and hear
from  other birthmothers, the hope is that they are able to build a
support system  through shared experiences and each other.  

Come for a day of self-care and learning!

Cost:  FREE
Registration required.  Deadline to register is April 17th.

For more information and to register, please contact:
Post Adoption Resource Center at (800) 236-4673 (Toll-Free)
Judi at jhoang@ccmadison.org   OR  Jessica at jwright@ccmadison.org
(608) 826-8009                                         (608) 826-8015

PRESENTED BY: Catholic Charities of the Dioceses of Green Bay, LaCrosse,
Madison, and Milwaukee
Annual PARC Adoptive Family Picnic
Saturday, June 24, 2017
11:30am - 1:30pm
Lake Farm Park, Shelter #1
4330 Libby Road in Madison
An afternoon of food and fun for adoptive families. Entertainment will include 
face painting by Funny Faces Family Entertainment as well as the MSCR Fit2Go van.

Stay tuned.  More details to follow!
Grief and Loss in Adoption Webinar

Thursday, May 11, 2017 from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM (CDT)
 Cost $20/person 

The profound loss that is experienced before an adoption occurs deserves to be acknowledged and grieved. The adoption triad consists of the birth/biological family, the adoptive parents, and the adopted person. The loss for birth families weighs heavily within the adoption triad with many unknowns. The loss for adoptive parents may also include infertility and/or expectations of a child. The loss an adopted person experiences is often overshadowed by the gains of an adoption. 

About the Trainer
Jaclyn Skalnik is the founder of Adoption Wellness and is also a transracial, internationally adopted person. Jaclyn earned a Master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. She has assisted a doptive families throughout their adoption processes for nearly two decades. 

Sponsored by the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families

   Summer Adoptee Camp
A week of Holt camp will be one of the best experiences of your life. Along with other adoptees, you’ll have the chance to try new things, make new friends and discuss issues that are important and unique to adoptees.
July 23-27, 2017 – Sunday thru Thursday 

Day camp  - Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Lake Geneva Camps and Conferences
300 Conference Point Road
Williams Bay, WI 53191

Visit the camp site here 

or follow this link:  https://www.holtinternational.org/camp/index.php#tab3

For more information or to ask direct questions about camp, staff, campsites, etc., please contact:

Pame Chow, Holt Camp registrar
541-687-2202 ext. 122

PARC Support & Resources
The Post Adoption Resource Center of Southern Wisconsin is a program of Catholic Charities Madison in partnership with the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families.
Post Adoption Resource Center of Southern Wisconsin | (800) 236-4673 | postadoption@ccmadison.org | parcsouthernwi.org