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18 Beneath all your grandiosity, which you hold so dear, is your real call for help. For you call for love to your Father as your Father calls you to Himself. In that place which you have hidden, you will only to unite with the Father in loving remembrance of Him. You will find this place of truth as you see it in your brothers, for though they may deceive themselves, like you they long for the grandeur that is in them. And perceiving it you will welcome it, and it will be yours. For grandeur is the right of God's Son, and no illusions can satisfy him or save him from what he is. Only his love is real, and he will be content only with his reality.

ACIM OE T12 The Problem of Guilt
III The Fear of Redemption
Workbook for Students
Lesson 139
I will accept Atonement for myself.
1 Here is the end of choice. For here we come to a decision to accept ourselves as God created us. And what is choice except uncertainty of what we are? There is no doubt that is not rooted here. There is no question but reflects this one. There is no conflict that does not entail the single simple question, "What am I?"

2 Yet who could ask this question except one who has refused to recognize himself? Only refusal to accept yourself could make the question seem to be sincere. The only thing that can be surely known by any living thing is what it is. From this one point of certainty it looks on other things as certain as itself. Uncertainty about what you must be is self-deception on a scale so vast its magnitude can hardly be conceived.

3 To be alive and not to know yourself is to believe that you are really dead. For what is life except to be yourself, and what but you can be alive instead? Who is the doubter? What is it he doubts? Whom does he question? Who can answer him? He merely states that he is not himself and therefore, being something else, becomes a questioner of what that something is.

4 Yet he could never be alive at all unless he knew the answer. If he asks as if he did not know, it merely shows he does not want to be the thing he is. He has accepted it because he lives, has judged against it and denied its worth, and has decided that he does not know the only certainty by which he lives. Thus he becomes uncertain of his life, for what it is has been denied by him.

5 It is for this denial that you need Atonement. Your denial made no change in what you are. But you have split your mind into what knows and does not know the truth. You are yourself. There is no doubt of this, and yet you doubt it. But you do not ask what part of you can really doubt yourself. It cannot really be a part of you that asks this question, for it asks of one who knows the answer. Were it part of you, uncertainty would be impossible.

6Atonement remedies the strange idea that it is possible to doubt yourself and be unsure of what you really are. This is the depth of madness. Yet it is the universal question of the world. What does this prove except the world is mad? Why share its madness in the sad belief that what is universal here is true? Nothing the world believes is true. It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are.

7 And they will come again until the time Atonement is accepted, and they learn it is impossible to doubt yourself and not to be aware of what you are. Only acceptance can be asked of you, for what you are is certain. It is set forever in the holy Mind of God and in your own. It is so far beyond all doubt and question that to ask what it must be is all the proof you need to show that you believe the contradiction that you know not what you cannot fail to know.

8 Is this a question or a statement which denies itself in statement? Let us not allow our holy minds to occupy themselves with senseless musings such as this. We have a mission here. We did not come to reinforce the madness which we once believed in. Let us not forget the goal that we accepted. It is more than just our happiness alone we came to gain. What we accept as what we are proclaims what everyone must be along with us.

9 Fail not your brothers, or you fail yourself. Look lovingly on them that they may know that they are part of you and you of them. This does Atonement teach and demonstrates the oneness of God's Son is unassailed by his belief he knows not what he is. Today accept Atonement, not to change reality, but merely to accept the truth about yourself and go your way rejoicing in the endless Love of God. It is but this that we are asked to do. It is but this that we will do today.

10 Five minutes in the morning and at night we will devote to dedicate our minds to our assignment for today. We start with this review of what our mission is:

11 I will accept Atonement for myself, for I remain as God created me.

12 We have not lost the knowledge that God gave to us when He created us like Him. We can remember it for everyone, for in creation are all minds as one and in our memory is the recall how dear our brothers are to us in truth, how much a part of us is every mind, how faithful they have really been to us, and how our Father's Love contains us all.

13In thanks for all creation, in the name of its Creator and His oneness with all aspects of creation, we repeat our dedication to our cause today each hour, as we lay aside all thoughts that would distract us from our holy aim. For several minutes let your mind be cleared of all the foolish cobwebs which the world would weave around the holy Son of God. And learn the fragile nature of the chains that seem to keep the knowledge of yourself apart from your awareness, as you say:

14 I will accept Atonement for myself, for I remain as God created me.

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Lesson ARCHIVE
Course in Miracles
Original Edition
Text
Chapter 12
 The Problem of Guilt

III. The Fear of Redemption
 par 10-22
[PAUSED FOR WEEKEND]
10 You may wonder why it is so crucial that you look upon your hatred and realize its full extent. You may also think that it would be easy enough for the Holy Spirit to show it to you and dispel it, without the need for you to raise it to awareness yourself. Yet there is one more complication which you have interposed between yourself and the Atonement, which you do not yet realize. We have said that no one will countenance fear if he recognizes it. Yet in your disordered state, you are not afraid of fear. You do not like it, but it is not your desire to attack which really frightens you. You are not seriously disturbed by your hostility. You keep it hidden because you are more afraid of what it covers.

11 You could look even upon the ego's darkest cornerstone without fear if you did not believe that, without the ego, you would find within yourself something you fear even more. You are not afraid of crucifixion. Your real terror is of redemption. Under the ego's dark foundation is the memory of God, and it is of this that you are really afraid. For this memory would instantly restore you to your proper place, and it is this place that you have sought to leave.

12 Your fear of attack is nothing compared to your fear of love. You would be willing to look even upon your savage wish to kill God's Son if you did not believe that it saves you from love. For this wish caused the separation. You have protected it because you do not want the separation healed, and you realize that, by removing the dark cloud that obscures it, your love for your Father would impel you to answer His call and leap into Heaven. You believe that attack is salvation to prevent you from this. For still deeper than the ego's foundation, and much stronger than it will ever be, is your intense and burning love of God, and His for you. This is what you really want to hide.

13 In honesty, is it not harder for you to say "I love" than "I hate"? You associate love with weakness and hatred with strength, and your own real power seems to you as your real weakness. For you could not control your joyous response to the call of love if you heard it, and the whole world you think you control would vanish. The Holy Spirit, then, seems to be attacking your fortress, for you would shut out God, and He does not will to be excluded.

14 You have built your whole insane belief system because you think you would be helpless in God's Presence, and you would save yourself from His love because you think it would crush you into nothingness. You are afraid it would sweep you away from yourself and make you little. For you believe that magnitude lies in defiance and that attack is grandeur. You think you have made a world which God would destroy; and by loving Him, which you do, you would throw this world away, which you would. Therefore, you have used the world to cover your love, and the deeper you go into the blackness of the ego's foundation, the closer you come to the love that is hidden there. And it is this that frightens you.

15 You can accept insanity because you made it, but you cannot accept love because you did not. You would rather be slaves of the crucifixion than Sons of God in redemption. For your individual death is more valued than your living oneness, and what is given you is not so dear as what you made. You are more afraid of God than of the ego, and love cannot enter where it is not welcome. But hatred can, for it enters of its will and cares not for yours.

16 The reason you must look upon your delusions and not keep them hidden is that they do not rest on their own foundation. In concealment they appear to do so, and thus they seem to be self-sustained. This is the fundamental illusion on which they rest. For beneath them and concealed as long as they are hidden is the loving mind that thought it made them in anger. And the pain in this mind is so apparent when it is uncovered that its need of healing cannot be denied. Not all the tricks and games you offer it can heal it, for here is the real crucifixion of God's Son.

17 And yet he is not crucified. Here is both his pain and his healing, for the Holy Spirit's vision is merciful, and His remedy is quick. Do not hide suffering from His sight, but bring it gladly to Him. Lay before His eternal sanity all your hurt, and let Him heal you. Do not leave any spot of pain hidden from His light, and search your minds carefully for any thoughts which you may fear to uncover. For He will heal every little thought which you have kept to hurt you and cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the magnitude of God.

18 Beneath all your grandiosity, which you hold so dear, is your real call for help. For you call for love to your Father as your Father calls you to Himself. In that place which you have hidden, you will only to unite with the Father in loving remembrance of Him. You will find this place of truth as you see it in your brothers, for though they may deceive themselves, like you they long for the grandeur that is in them. And perceiving it you will welcome it, and it will be yours. For grandeur is the right of God's Son, and no illusions can satisfy him or save him from what he is. Only his love is real, and he will be content only with his reality.

19 Save him from his illusions that you may accept the magnitude of your Father in peace and joy. But exempt no one from your love, or you will be hiding a dark place in your mind where the Holy Spirit is not welcome. And you will exempt yourself from His healing power, for by not offering total love, you will not be healed completely. Healing must be as complete as fear, for love cannot enter where there is one spot of fear to mar its welcome.

20 You who prefer specialness to sanity could not obtain it in your right minds. You were at peace until you asked for special favor. And God did not give it, for the request was alien to Him, and you could not ask this of a Father Who truly loved His Son. Therefore you made of Him an unloving father, demanding of Him what only such a father could give. And the peace of God's Son was shattered, for he no longer understood his Father. He feared what he had made, but still more did he fear his real Father, having attacked his own glorious equality with Him.

21 In peace he needed nothing and asked for nothing. In war he demanded everything and found nothing. For how could the gentleness of love respond to his demands except by departing in peace and returning to the Father? If the Son did not wish to remain in peace, he could not remain at all. For a darkened mind cannot live in the light, and it must seek a place of darkness where it can believe it is where it is not. God did not allow this to happen.Yet you demanded that it happen and therefore believed that it was so.

22 To "single out" is to "make alone" and thus make lonely. God did not do this to you. Could He set you apart, knowing that your peace lies in His Oneness? He denied you only your request for pain, for suffering is not of His creation. Having given you creation, He could not take it from you. He could but answer your insane request with a sane answer which would abide with you in your insanity. [And this He did. No one who hears His answer but will give up insanity.] For His answer is the reference point beyond illusions from which you can look back on them and see them as insane. But seek this place, and you will find it, for love is in you and will lead you there.

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ACIM Edmonton
Sarah's Reflections
Lesson 139
I will accept Atonement for myself.
The Lesson yesterday spoke of the thousand choices we seem to have in the world of illusion, with many conflicting goals in front of us. Yet Jesus also reminded us that there really is only one choice to make and even that choice is already made. We are learning that the many forms we seem to choose among conceal the fact that there is only one choice---the choice for Heaven and truth. When we made the choice for the ego, we also made a choice for the false self, which is why the Atonement is needed. The Atonement is a correction that we can apply every time we choose wrongly. This does not make us wrong, but we have simply made a mistake that can be corrected when we turn to the Holy Spirit.
 
Time has been given us to use for the purpose of correcting our mistaken choice for the separation and our individuality. When we use time for learning, it is because we really do want to know again our Eternal One Self. When time is used for healing, it is being well used to accept the Atonement for ourselves. We are not responsible for the error, but we are responsible for accepting the Correction. As long as the illusion seems to offer us what we deem as satisfaction, we will continue to choose its offerings until we recognize it offers us nothing but pain and suffering. Today's Lesson says that when we decide to accept the Atonement, it marks the end of choice and the acceptance of ourselves as God created us. Until we come to total acceptance of our reality, we keep questioning, seeking, doubting, denying, and keeping ourselves small. We keep wondering: "What am I?" "Why am I here?" "What is the purpose and meaning of my life?"
 
Why would we ask these questions if God has already answered them? Why do we stay in this confusion about our identity? He says, "Uncertainty about what you must be is self-deception on a scale so vast, its magnitude can hardly be conceived." (W.139.3.1) We are living in denial of the truth about ourselves that we must learn to stop. "The task of the miracle worker thus becomes to deny the denial of truth ." (T.12.II.1.5) (ACIM OE T.11.III.14) Our minds are split into a part that knows the truth about ourselves (the right mind) and another part that does not know; and we hold beliefs and concepts about ourselves that are not true.
 
Our journey of awakening is not supported by the world. It can’t be otherwise because "It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are." (W.139.7.2) It is an insane world based on an insane thought system. "The ego made the world as it perceives it, but the Holy Spirit, the reinterpreter of what the ego made, sees the world as a teaching device for bringing you home." (T.5.III.11.1) (ACIM OE T.5.V.42) All our past learning, when used for the purpose of awakening, can now become a classroom for its undoing with the help of our inner Teacher.
 
Apparently, we will keep coming here until we give up all these questions and all our doubt thoughts and accept the truth about ourselves. This is what acceptance of the Atonement is all about. It is the correction of our mistaken perceptions. It is a correction of our wrong-minded beliefs. To accept the Atonement is to come to accept that we are not bodies, living in this world. To accept the Atonement is to heal the mind of all its misconceptions, all its self-concepts, and all the values and beliefs it holds. It is a process of undoing everything that we have come to accept as true about ourselves and the world until we come to the place where we no longer question who we are. We are no longer deceived about our true Identity as the Christ.
 
We come to the place where we know ourselves as eternal, rather than bodies living a life that ends in death. "To be alive and not to know yourself is to believe that you are really dead." (W.139.3.2) The truth is that we have never left God and are still one with Him. It is only in the insanity of the illusion that we believe life consists of our experience in the body and the world. Life can only be truly known when we know what we are as the Christ. We did not destroy this life when we remembered not to laugh at the tiny mad idea that we could actually separate from God and the Love we are. Not one note in Heaven’s song was missed. We are still One with our Father.
 
"Who is the doubter? What is it he doubts? Whom does he question? Who can answer him?" (W.139.3.4-7) I love these questions that show the part of the mind that asks and the part that does not know. When I say, " I ask myself ," who is the "I" that asks the "self?" This internal dialogue goes on between what seem to be the different parts of the mind. The questioner is the part that has chosen the ego. What he doubts is what he is. Whom he questions is himself. Who can answer him is only the Holy Spirit in the right mind.  "For it asks of one who knows the answer." (W.139.5.10) We won't hear the answer as long as we listen to the ego. The Self is in the right mind, but it seems to be a separate part of what we are. The one who is questioning is not what we are. "Were it part of you, then certainty would be impossible." (W.139.5.11) We are not two parts in conflict. There is only One Self. The doubter is the one who has chosen to identify with the wrong mind. Again, it is the choice made for our individuality that brought about all our doubt thoughts. We now doubt what we are as the One Self at One with God. Yet the answer is within, in the right mind. If we do not hear, it is because we are listening to the part that does not know.
 
This Lesson helps us to see how we can end the uncertainty of this constant questioning of ourselves. Sanity is in our minds at this very moment. It is the Answer within us to every question about ourselves. "We have not lost the knowledge that God gave us when He created us like Him." (W.139.11.4) If we don't hear the answer, it is because we don't want to be what we are. We are actively resisting the truth, believing there will be a high cost to us in the acceptance of the truth within. The Holy Spirit is the symbol of the memory of everlasting life. He is our assurance that we cannot die. Yet because we have ". . . judged against it [the truth of our being] and denied its worth," (W.139.4.4) we think we don't know what we are; and this is the source of all our uncertainty. Just because we have denied the truth of our reality does not change what we are. "Your denial made no change in what you are." (W.139.5.3) Part of us knows the truth about ourselves, and the other part keeps denying this truth. This is the split mind.
 
The ego is nothing but a doubt thought we hold about ourselves. It is madness. It has occupied the mind which now doubts itself and has become unsure of what it is. "Atonement remedies the strange idea that it is possible to doubt yourself, and be unsure of what you really are." (W.139.6.1) Thus, Atonement is the acceptance of the truth about ourselves. It releases the question from our minds of what we are. It is the acceptance of the Answer. It is the recognition, "I will accept Atonement for myself, for I remain as God created me . " (W.139.11.3) The truth is already in our minds. (W.139.8.2) It is not something we have to seek. We can choose to "not allow our holy minds to occupy themselves with senseless musings." (W.139.8.5) "We have not lost the knowledge that God gave to us when He created us like Him." (W.139.11.4) That knowledge is still in our minds to be accessed there.
 
What is stopping us? The only thing stopping us is our own fear and our distractions from our holy aim. All the things of this world that distract us are the ". . . foolish cobwebs which the world would weave around the Holy Son of God." (W.139.12.2) They have no substance but only appear to be a complex web that cannot hold us back. "And learn the fragile nature of the chains that seem to keep the knowledge of yourself apart from your awareness. . ." (W.139.12.3) They cannot hold back the awareness of the truth about ourselves if we don't let them. When we let them hold us back, they do indeed feel powerful and strong to us. In this dream, they seem to have a very strong hold only because we give them power.
 
We have an important assignment given to us by Jesus today. The assignment is to remind ourselves hourly that we remain as God created us. It will never be affirmed by what the world values and what we value in the world. Whenever we experience doubt, confusion, or distress of any kind, we can look at our thoughts with the Holy Spirit and without judgment. We need to tell ourselves the truth often---we were created perfect, whole, and totally innocent. Everything we think we have done to destroy the truth about ourselves is simply a dream. While we may acknowledge that this is the case, the only way we can experience it is to be vigilant of our thoughts. Our thoughts are blocking the truth. These are the thoughts of anger, despair, worry, fears, demands, expectations, specialness, judgment, arrogance, and more. Jesus can't change our thoughts for us. We must do the work ourselves because we are the ones who gave power to these senseless thoughts. He tells us that since we made them, we must be the ones to bring them to the light.
 
When we release the blocks to love by accepting the Atonement for ourselves, we do it for the whole Sonship, as there is only One Mind. Every brother is a part of the One Mind. We will know our magnificence when we see it everywhere and in everyone. In this endless love, available to us in every moment, we will rejoice as we join with our brothers and sisters in Oneness. So let us look with kindness on everyone, extend blessings to those who cross our path today, and refrain from analyzing the motives of others or correcting our brothers. Our acceptance of our own joy and peace is the gift we give and thus receive for ourselves, as we do this in gratitude and joy.
 
He asks us to lay aside all thoughts that would distract us from our holy aim. Today, anytime you witness your unhappiness, pain, distress, or even happiness as coming from something outside you, realize that you deny the truth of who you are and thus deny the healing. By taking responsibility for our judgments and our attacks perceived to be coming from within ourselves or from the world, we take the first step in healing. We need to spend the day being vigilant with regard to mind watching. All our doubts, confusion, and uncertainties are opportunities to question their validity. They are not the truth.
 
"For several minutes let your mind be cleared of all the foolish cobwebs which the world would weave around the holy Son of God. And learn the fragile nature of the chains that seem to keep the knowledge of yourself apart from your awareness, as you say:
 
"I will accept Atonement for myself, for I remain as God created me. " (W.139.12.2-3)
 
These fragile chains are the ego's thought system of sin, guilt, fear, suffering, and death. To us, they do not seem fragile at all when we give them power. Today, I set my kitchen on fire and was giving power to my thoughts that I was guilty and had sinned. These are the fragile chains that can readily be brought to the truth so that regardless of what is happening in our lives, we can choose peace instead. Yes, feelings arise and must be acknowledged, felt, and released, but that comes more and more easily as we do the work and remind ourselves of the only thing that is true in this world---I am still as God created me.
 
We can only recognize the nothingness of these illusions when we question them and bring them to the light of truth. It is the process of forgiveness as described in the Course. It is a process of looking without judgment at the ego thought system, which can only be done when we look with the Holy Spirit.
 
Bring forth the memory of how dear your brothers are in truth and how much a part of you is every mind, how faithful they have been to you, and how your Father's love contains them all. Bring them all into the circle of light and love, leaving no one outside of your loving embrace. Notice whenever you try to separate from your brothers with your judgments or by seeing differences and making comparisons. Any thoughts we hold that separate us from any of our brothers is how we deny our Identity. We make judgments all the time, so do not judge yourself for making them. Just be willing to release them once they are seen. "The necessary condition of the holy instant does not require that you have no thoughts that are not pure. But it does require that you have none that you would keep." (T.15.IV.9.1) (ACIM OE T.15.V.43)

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Love and blessings, Sarah
 
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Allen Watson's
Workbook Commentaries
Allen joined Robert Perry in forming the Circle of Atonement in 1993 in Sedona, Arizona where Allen led retreats and workshops and authored many books based on “A Course in Miracles.” One of his most popular books is “ A Workbook Companion: Vol I and II .”

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