Jesus says, "We have attacked God's plan for salvation without waiting to hear what it is." (W.PI.72.10.10) Well, we might ask how did we do that? Jesus says, "We have shouted our grievances so loudly that we have not listened to His Voice." (W.PI.72.10.11) He says, "We have used our grievances to close our eyes and stop our ears." (W.PI.72.10.12) While that is what we have done, Jesus assures us that, though we still do listen to the ego, nevertheless we answered the call of the Holy Spirit when we started our spiritual journey.
   
It is encouraging to read that we are "not asked to take salvation on the basis of an unsupported faith." (W.337.1.1) That idea really serves us well. He invites us to test out what he is telling us. We will learn this is the truth through our own experience, and with each experience, our trust and faith will grow. That is so reassuring and in my experience it is very true. The more I get out of the way and listen to His answers, without setting limitations on what I need, or what I think my problem is, the more I have found that His answers have always shown me that my trust in Him is warranted. Yes, doubts come up when new situations arise, and the temptation is to go back to the ego for the answers.
 
Recently I was facing a situation of having to find my way through the maze of long term care arrangements for my mother, in a system that was highly bureaucratic, with a limited supply of open beds. I faced the possibility of her having to go into a difficult transition situation until a bed could be found. The hospital wanted her out as soon as possible. The fear came up in my mind and when this happens there is always an inclination to rush about finding answers. Yet I found that when I refused to allow my ego thoughts to take over my mind, in the recognition that there are no answers in conflict, and allowed the fear thoughts to be released, there was a knowing that all was well. In the end it all turned out miraculously. I had put my trust in the Holy Spirit and felt Him supporting me. I actively refused to listen to the ego that kept nattering in the background from time to time.

Purification of ego thoughts is necessary for the miracle to come forth. "Miracles arise from a miraculous state of mind, or a state of miracle-readiness." (T.1.I.43.1)(ACIM OE T.1.I.71) It is not that we do nothing in these circumstances, but we stay attentive to Him as He sends us on our busy doings. "This quiet center, in which you do nothing, will remain with you, giving you rest in the midst of every busy doing on which you are sent." (T.18.VII.8.3)(ACIM OE T.18.VIII.70) "And now in all your doings be you blessed." (M.29.8.1) It is not about doing nothing in this situation. It is to choose which guide we follow, the ego or the Holy Spirit.
   
This path is not about blind faith, where we are simply asked to give our loyalty and our allegiance blindly to God, hoping that one day He will reward us for our faith. He is inviting us to test Him out, and when we do, we get positive affirmations of the benefits of turning to Him. We look at our lives as a result of our journey with the Course and we see that our peace has increased. We've had relationships that have shifted through forgiveness. We have met challenges with more grace and trust. We have had examples of guidance, where we have stepped back and let Him lead the way with happy results. Our minds have shifted into more of a sense of ease, openness and trust. Challenges don't go away, but I find I am ready for them, feeling stronger and more confident with actual evidence that I am supported. I have increasingly become a happier learner, more motivated to do the work watching my mind and taking responsibility for my thoughts.

We have experienced miracles, but we don't always recognize them or we may even deny the evidence. The ego will deny our experience, question it, dismiss it, judge it as just a coincidence or a fluke. Part of the process, in my opinion, is simply to take notice. Stay aware of the events around you and express gratitude for them all. The lesson says not to judge what we receive as answers when we ask. In other words, we need to trust that the answer we get is exactly what we need. It may not always be apparent this is so, especially when it comes in a form other than what we expected, or it comes at a later time where patience is called for.  The answer will be given, when we are ready to receive it. The point is that we are asked to look for the evidence of His Love and His Word (His Promise) that we can trust Him to answer. He wants us to come to trust Him so that we will not delay our return. He is waiting with open arms and knows that, when we accept His love for us, "This is the faith that will endure, and take me farther and still farther on the road that leads to Him." (W.327.1.4) We will not fear our return, when we know His Love awaits us.

"Let me but learn from my experience that this is true, and faith in Him must surely come to me." (W.327.1.3) As we grow in faith and trust, we rely more and more on the Holy Spirit until we step entirely out of the conflict of listening to two different directions. We also garner trust when we see our brothers on the path glowing with the light of His Love. It is truly beautiful to witness changes in those around us who reflect these gifts they have received back to us. Their gifts and their progress are mine as well because we are one. Sharing our experiences is how we encourage each other in testing out the truth of God's promises. It is not about trying to have belief, but about actually experiencing the results of our trust in the love that is within.

When I started with the Course, my obstacle to embracing it immediately was the Christian language. I was motivated to give it a try because of the way it came into my life through a friend I had high respect for, Dr. Willis Harmon, then the CEO of the Stanford Research Institute for Noetic Sciences. It was my trust in his recommendation that kept me on this learning path in my early days of study, but I had no belief and faith in God at that time. However, by applying the teaching to my life, I started to see amazing changes. I started to trust more and more that something was working in my mind that was not of me and of my limited thinking, and my faith grew.

Interestingly enough, Jesus says, "Yet back of all our doubts, past all our fears, there still is certainty." (W.PII.Q11.4.3) "For love remains with all Its Thoughts, Its sureness being theirs. God's memory is in our holy minds, which know their oneness and their unity with their Creator." (W.P.II.Q.11.4.4-5) While our physical experience in the body seems so real, and our doubts and fears seem to us to be what life is about, behind all of this, and deep within our minds, the certainty exists for all of us. We recognize more and more how lost and split off we have felt and how much we have been lacking in this awareness. It is about making contact with that truth through forgiving our self-attacking thoughts and testing out God's promises by applying these lessons. And with that, Jesus assures us that conviction comes.

"Father, I thank You that Your promises will never fail in my experience, if I but test them out. Let me attempt therefore to try them, and to judge them not. Your Word is one with You. You give the means whereby conviction comes, and surety of Your abiding Love is gained at last." (W.327.2.1-4) Amen.

We are encouraged to keep testing out His promises so we can know we have not been abandoned and are truly loved. He is there to give us the help we need, so we are encouraged to ask. Remember, when we ask for things of the ego, we are asking for nothing. Ask for what is in line with God's Will for us---for our happiness and for release from guilt, to see a situation differently. Ask for guidance in a difficult situation. It is all about the prayer of the heart to open to our divine, holy minds more fully. It is about asking with desire and waiting with confidence for the Answer. It may not come in the form we expect nor in the time line we set, but it will come. We just need to stay aware of the miracle showing up, and stay open and grateful for the Love that surrounds us in every moment, and continue our forgiveness practice in order that our blocks to the love that we are, can be released.