Law of Probability -- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes),the one you were in always moves faster than the one you are now in.
Law of Immersed Bodies - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Timing - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Past-times- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toliet and who leave early before the end of the performance is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Law of Relaxation - As soon as you sit down to a cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rugh.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Law of Apparel - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Law of Commerical Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
