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Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
The new extra-long twin sheets were purchased and packed, the snacks were packed, the clothes were packed, it was time and we were ready to take George to East Carolina University. The last morning at home as he was asleep in his bed, I just had to peek in to see him, knowing everything was about to change. He heard me, jumped out of bed and hugged me. As he hugged me, I started to cry a little. George said, “This is perfectly normal, Mom.” I smiled and thought to myself how he still regularly surprised me.
The next day we dropped him off at ECU. It was a very quick dropoff – clothes were hung, snacks unpacked and the bed made. After quick hugs, Dean and I were headed back to Charlotte. In contrast, on our way out of the dorm, we passed many a “girl dad” schlepping all kinds of bedding and décor -they were probably there for the long haul. As we left and as we drove home I was sad, but still holding myself together. After all, he was where he was supposed to be taking his next steps – I was thrilled for him.
But once home my emotions took a turn. People say so many things like “it’s hard” and “do something for yourself” and “your house will feel empty” and “go on a trip,” etc. But no one told me that I would grieve as if I had lost a part of me. My grief was deep – I cried in a meeting the next day at work and I cried through the weekend. I came to SMPC that Sunday because that is where I knew I needed to be – and I cried. My SMPC family said so many kind things to me. I was grateful – as much as I hate crying in front of people, it was where I needed to be. On Monday morning, I headed back to work and with busy days was able to slowly recover and adjust to our new normal.
As the weeks and months have passed, I’ve adjusted to this new life we have. Turns out I still talk and text with George regularly. Even though it’s not like having him home, it’s enough. He loves ECU and seems to be adjusting which makes me so happy for him. I remind myself of the struggles George had to overcome to get there and celebrate his success. I’m happy to say, that after much weeping, I’ve moved on to much rejoicing!
Our most heavenly Father, thank you for always being with us but especially during those days we grieve. As we move through our grief, help us to remember to rejoice in our blessings when the morning comes. Amen.
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