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For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. Psalm 62:5-6
The birth of a child is an event full of love, hope and promise. For us, the birth of our firstborn took an unexpected turn, challenging us to hold on to these tenants.
Chris was born on July 4th after a lengthy 23-hour labor. He stopped breathing as Reyn was holding him an hour after birth. This began our unexpected journey. The diagnosis was life-threatening heart defects requiring initial surgery at 4 hours old and open-heart surgery in Boston over Thanksgiving at the age of 4 months.
Through the time before surgery we were told “it will all be fine” and “God is in control.” I knew these were sentiments meant to help us and encourage us, but they were vain platitudes to me. As a pediatric critical care nurse, I had seen too many children suffer and die within both faithful and non-faithful families. How was I to emerge from this unscathed? I needed to find the God who would help whatever the outcome. This began my personal journey to find how to realize the outcome does not mean God has failed. Life is short. Life is painful and glorious. God is with us through it all. Whatever the outcome. Whatever the pain. I do not understand how this works, but I know experientially that I can stand in Matt Brown’s words “God is God and I am not.” I will hold that phrase as long as I live and beyond.
Gratefully, Chris is now 41 with a lovely wife (Kara) and daughter (Mary Catherine, who many of you have met). There are still current health considerations that Chris deals with on a daily, weekly and annual basis including pacemakers and internal defibrillator placement. Still, given all of this, so much love and hope have come through Chris’ birth and life. Through the unknowns and the struggles, there is immeasurable hope, peace, joy and love.
Lord, in this time of Advent let us hold onto Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. This is our challenge in a world that does not honor these ideals. We hold them in the face of struggles of the body and the spirit. In the daylight and in the darkness, may the presence of Christ attend your path. At every threshold, at every door, may you have wisdom to know where your way leads, and the courage to walk in. Blessings.*
*From Jan Richardson’s website
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