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By Jan Aerie
Gerontologist and family Counselor
Your age is measured by your dreams not by the years.
― Amit Ray.
The aging process is talked about a lot. Yet it seems that little is said about the biblical and
spiritual aspects of aging. By examining and exploring Bible passages that have something to say about aging and older adults, we will discover a deeper knowledge and understanding of the process of growing old.
Growing old touches every aspect of life.
The Older Adult Ministry Group would like to make you aware of a 12-part study guide by Jan Aerie.This study series will guide you in exploring some general topics related to aging and some specific issues relating to older adults. Below is a sample of part of one session in this guide. (Access to this guide is listed in the references below.)
LIFE: GOD’S GRACIOUS GIFT
2. GROWING INTO THE FULLNESS OF AGE
Psalm 90
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. —Sophia Loren
A Life of Purpose
The Bible recognizes aging as a phase of living that rounds out the circle of life. Even though life can be burdensome for the old, it can also be burdensome for the young. Still today, having survived to old age is truly a gift from God. Most people want to live a long life and yet hate to think of getting old. Is old age merely a burden to be survived? What is it you hope to avoid in growing old? Are you afraid of nearing the end of life? Will you “give up the gift” of life upon facing mortality? How do you think of your own mortality?
Moses’ prayer (Psalm 90) offers some insight. Moses approaches mortality from the viewpoint of God’s eternity. The focal point of the psalm, particularly in verses 2-6, is God’s eternity set against the transient nature of human life. People return to dust; a person’s life is but a small span of time known in those days as a watch in the night (verse 4). A person’s life is like grass, which fades and withers at the end of the day. How insignificant the reader of these verses is made to feel! What understanding did the poet wish to instill by repeatedly stating such a pessimistic view of the fragility of life?
Growing old is tangible evidence of the finitude of life and its limitations. In the very facing of our mortality, our will to control our own lives may be weakened. The writer of Psalm 90 saw this phenomenon as a great moral issue. Look again at verses 7-12. If people wish to live forever, to reject their finitude, then it appears that God will consume them in anger. In these verses God seems to be an infinite enemy. God’s judgment seems harsh and unfair. Isn’t it by their very nature that people strive to live forever? But when faced with death, the hope of immortality dims and, for some, causes life to seem profoundly disappointing. This profound disappointment may be one image you have of older adults. Exerting one’s will to control longevity is futile.
The poet does not end with the pessimistic commentary on life found in verses 7-10. The utter despair of not being able to control one’s life then enables a person to surrender to the possibility of God’s offer of everlasting purpose in life. Once hope in our own strength is dismissed, we can find faith in God. Positive life in God uncovers the knowledge of the true gift (verse 12). Paul Tournier’s classic book "Learn to Grow Old," describes this surrender as an experience that leads believers to an encounter with God that is felt in an intensely personal way. He asserts that only through this experience can the anxiety felt at the approach of death be accepted peacefully. There are “intellectual believers” who may accept creed and gospel with their minds but have not experienced this surrender. Without surrender faith may only build walls around the anxiety. Tournier’s explanation raises a question: Do believers accept old age more readily than nonbelievers? Reflect on this and explore your thoughts with others.
Transformation means moving from a life filled with fear and waiting to a life filled with present meaning, active purpose, and daily striving for deep joy.
Read aloud verses 13-17. This section is a powerful affirmation of God’s grace in forgiveness. God does not promise to “settle accounts,” to balance gladness with pain. God does promise the grace to heal wounds and transcend guilt.
Attitudes About Growing Old
How does the possibility of God’s transformation of our lives offer a new outlook toward
growing old? Can you look forward to being old?
In order to closely examine your feelings about old age, take a sheet of paper and a pen and write a letter to yourself at the age of 80 (or 90). In this letter tell yourself about the attributes you believe you will have at that age, how you will feel and function, and what you will do on an average day. Tell about your health at age 80 (90), your level of mobility, and the presence or absence of family and friends. After you have written the letter, sign your name and put it in an envelope. Plan to keep the letter in a safe place to reread on your 80th (or 90th) birthday. What feelings or thoughts did you have while writing the letter? Which parts were easy? Which were hard to write? Did you find yourself forming new images or roles for growing old? Do you feel your letter reflects a true 80- (90-) year-old?
When we consider aspects of life at any chronological age, many factors are involved. We can speak of our physical, intellectual and emotional age, in addition to our chronological age. We each are many different ages and the older we are the wider the spread between our various ages can become.
It would be difficult to determine how old we are in all these ways, but we should keep in mind five basic types of age: chronological age (number of years); biological age (degree of growth or decline of the body); social age (responsibility assumed, e.g. marriage, parenting, working, caregiving, friendships, etc.); psychological age (mental, emotional, interpersonal abilities); self-age (how old the individual feels). Your chronological age is defined by the calendar but the age you feel cannot be challenged or debated by others.
Do you look forward to old age as a continuation and integration of all that has been and is now in your life? Can you look at old age as an affirmation of God’s infinite, joyous gift for you to receive?
Resources:
- For the above study go to: https://wcucc,org, then go to “Love in Action,” then go to Older Adult Ministry, and finally go to the Study Guides: Perspectives on Aging Bible Study.
- McFadden, Susan and John, “Aging Together: Dementia, Friendship and Flourishing Communities,” Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore, 2011 (in paperback in 2014).
- https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/equipping-leaders/older-adults
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