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By Jan Braby
Ruth said (to her mother-in-law Naomi): “Do not press me to leave you, to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16-17 NRSVUE)
As the population ages, the role and responsibilities of caregivers expand, too. Interestingly enough, 20 or so years ago, the definition of a caregiver was “Someone who cares for a young child.” Today, almost anyone who hears the word will think of someone who is caring for an older person, whether that be a loved one, neighbor or friend, although people of any age may require help. A Google search defines the term as a person “responsible for the health and well-being of someone who may not be able to care for themselves.” In 2020, the National Alliance on Caregiving and AARP reported that approximately 53 million people in the United States characterized themselves as caregivers. This means nearly one-fifth of the U.S. population now cares for a loved one.
What are some of the responsibilities a caregiver handles?
- Cleaning around the house and other routine maintenance.
- Setting up appointments.
- Cooking and feeding.
- Helping with grooming, bathing, toileting, and other hygiene-related activities.
- Running errands and grocery shopping.
- Helping make financial arrangements and paying bills.
- Assisting in health care decision-making appointments, managing medications, choosing health care coverage, etc.
- Assisting in social activities and hobbies to lessen mental decline and depression.
There is more and more pressure on families to take care of their loved ones, especially if financial difficulties exist. Key elements of being a good caregiver include communication, compassion and empathy — not only with the care recipient but also with health care providers when acting as an advocate for the person. A caregiver must not only be assertive but also needs to speak with compassion and empathy. Putting oneself in the care of the recipients’ shoes allows the caregiver to take the breath that they need in difficult situations so they can provide the care the person deserves.
Depending on the needs of the care recipient, the pressure of being a caregiver is very demanding. It is therefore very important that the caregiver learn self-care methods. These include, but are not limited to, meditation, support groups, various relaxation activities, and hobbies. Each person is unique, so their method of self-care is also very individualized. For many, there are not many spare minutes in the day for self-care. Being intentional to carve some time out for themselves is a must. Support groups can also be very helpful so that a caregiver does not feel that they are alone in their role. You can imagine how a person would feel if they are caring for a parent when their friends are taking a grand vacation to Europe!
Many emotions become heightened. Not only jealously but guilt and anger. It is important to recognize and honor one’s emotions and, also, to take care when and how they express them. On the other hand, taking care of a loved one can be rewarding, too. Many family caregivers say that caregiving allows them to build a strong bond with the care recipient, and that providing care gives them a sense of purpose.
Many Aging and Disability Resource Centers provide caregiver assistance, sometimes in monetary ways if a person qualifies but, to all, emotional support. Financial support through state and federal programs can provide respite care and/or adult day services. This can provide a needed break for a caregiver. Many Aging and Disability Resource Centers also have support groups and educational programs where one can learn how to handle and address situations in the most efficient manner. In many of the centers, there is a Dementia Care Specialist who can provide information and support to caregivers of people living with dementia. Encourage people you know to take advantage of these services. They can be of great assistance.
November is Family Caregiver Month. If you know someone who is in the role of a family caregiver, ask them how you can help. It may be as simple as picking up some groceries for them or making a meal for them. This small gesture would be welcome not only in November but any month of the year. We all need to support people who are caring for those unable to care for themselves.
Questions to consider:
- How are you supporting those who are caregivers in your church?
- Does your church have a support group or know of some support groups in your community that you can refer a caregiver to?
- Does your church accommodate care recipients in getting to church? Can those with needs access various areas of the church such bathrooms or vision friendly seating especially if one is wheelchair bound?
- Do the leaders in your church know how to communicate with someone with dementia?
Resources:
- Your Local Aging and Disability Resource Center
- “Age-Friendly Congregations: A New Curriculum that Explores How to Minister Well with, to, and for Older Adults.” Edited by J. Bennett Guess and Barbara A. Powell., Produced by the United Church of Christ Council for Health and Human Service Ministries, 2017.
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"Spiritual Caregiving: Healthcare as a Ministry," Verna Brenner and Harold G. Koenig. (Philadelphia: Templeton Foundation, 2004)
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