Vol. 78 Issue 43 Week of October 26-November 1, 2020 |
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Worship on
November 1st
This Sunday morning we will worship together online focusing on how the body of the Christ's Church is like a team. Our scriptures will be Nehemiah 4:6-9, 6:1-3 and 15-16; Luke 6:12-16; and Matthew 28:16-20. Rev. Lee Gray will offer a message called, "A Championship Team."
The worship video will be available at 8am via our YouTube channel and at our website under the Worship tab for you to view. You can also link to worship from the Realm Connect App Events list.
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Third Quarter Giving Statements
Third Quarter Giving Statements have been sent out through Realm this week. A few also went out in the mail to those members who do not have an email address in our database. If you did not receive a statement or have any questions about your statement, please contact Church Administrator Jacquelyn McAbee at jmcabee@sjcharlotte.org or 434-579-1177.
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ST. JOHN’S AND ALL SAINTS’ DAY
“Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Saint’s days, in the early years of the Church, marked the anniversary of a martyr’s death signifying his or her ‘birthday’ into God’s gift of eternal life. Soon, there were more martyrs than there were days. Thus, an annual day was set aside to remember ‘All Saints.’ Throughout the world today, a variety of All Saints’ traditions are observed involving visual art, music, poetry, symbolism, dance, flowers, pageantry, bells, candles, prayers, chants, photographs, etc.
In our life together, as St. John’s, we observe All Saint’s Day during worship by lighting candles for each member of our congregation who has passed on ahead of us in the past twelve months. We use candles and the sound of a bell to remember each person as we call their name. This Sunday, during our online worship experience, Kevin Gray will be lighting candles and Allison Benfield will be ringing the bell as I read the names of the 19 members who have passed on ahead of us since All Saints’ Day last year.
This Sunday afternoon, we will gather on the Broach Hall parking lot at 3:00 and 4:00 for 30-minute worship services to honor and remember these members. If you plan to participate in one of these services, please be sure to register on Realm or using the buttons below this article so we can assure that we have no more than 50 persons in each 30-minute service. Remember to bring your own folding chair and wear your face covering as we observe physical distancing. Weather forecasters are prognosticating 65 degrees & partly cloudy skies. Once again, we will read the names of these 19 saints and acknowledge the grief being experienced by their families. We will read scriptures, offer prayers and present musical offerings as we give thanks to God for their lives and ministries.
The nineteen members who have passed on ahead of us this past year are:
- Helen Neff on November 3, 2019
- Mike Miller on December 2, 2019
- Bryan Thorn on December 9, 2019
- Lewis Levie on December 15, 2019
- Henry Snyder on December 19, 2019
- Tommy Nations on January 28, 2020
- Judy Biber on March 3, 2020
- Carolyn Hicks on March 4, 2020
- Edith Breckenridge on May 10, 2020
- Alice Jordan on May 13, 2020
- Janie Kendrick on June 13, 2020
- Monette Gossett on June 21, 2020
- Harry Barr on June 24, 2020
- Linda Walker on July 21, 2020
- Richard Canady on July 22, 2020
- Pat Lloyd on July 23, 2020
- Helen Moore on August 3, 2020
- Sue Rappe on August 21, 2020
- Cherry Sutton on October 7, 2020
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Vespers Service: All Saints' Sunday on Sunday, November 1st at 3pm or 4pm
Register for either time slot using the buttons below.
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Women's Retreat:
Gathering in God's Love, Wherever We Are
We hope all of the women of St. John's will join us for this year's virtual women's retreat on Saturday, November 7 from 10:00am to 12:00pm. This year, we will focus on the ancient Hebrew story of “Returning from Exile." This story will serve as our guide for living as community in this modern day version of Exile and Return during the 2020 Pandemic. We hope you will join us! Please invite any women you know who are currently outside of the St. John's community to join us. All are welcome.
Register by clicking the green button below:
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SUSPENDED IN GRIEF
by Dennis W. Foust, Senior Minister of St. John’s Baptist Church of Charlotte
This COVID-19 global pandemic is presenting us with suspended grief. As we approach this All Saints’ Day, many people are suspended in grief. This article is offered to those of you who may be grieving and to equip those of you who may be serving person in grief as part of your Ministry in Daily Life.
The familiar description called “stages of grief” is only one way to consider the grieving process. Often, grief is more like a spiral circling around and around through familiar and unfamiliar territory again and again with each spiral tracing close to an existing prior circle while drawing a different circle each time around. A person rarely transitions from shock or denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance in clearly defined steps. Almost always, a person repeats these experiences in a spiraling pattern.
Often, a person who has lost a loved one, marriage, job, freedom, capacity, vision, lifestyle, role, relationship, home, career, pet, physical ability, financial capacity, etc. finds it difficult to step through sequential stages at all. Persons in grief may say, “How long does this last? Can you help me endure this?” “It seems as if the future is not ready for me and the past doesn’t want me back.”
When a person is ‘Suspended in Grief,’ life can be similar to a trapeze artist swinging on a bar between platforms. Transitioning from one platform to the other requires a trapeze artist to wait until the timing matches and until they have their balance enough to make a solid landing. Grief can suspend persons between what has been their life that cannot be restored and what is not yet reality. Of course, each of us has experienced loss and may have also been suspended in grief. This pandemic is extending our waiting times and resetting the rhythm of our transitioning.
If you are grieving during this COVID-19 pandemic:
· Accept the reality that your grieving is necessary. You should not feel guilty for grieving.
· Trust God with your negative emotions. A healthy relationship with God is based upon honesty. Therefore, you cannot always be able to express positive feelings. Negative emotions, questions and doubts must also be expressed to God in our prayers, our shouts of discouragement and despair and our pain. God is plenty big enough and faithfully loving enough to hear your negative thoughts and doubts.
· Allow space to your family members to grieve in a different way from yourself. If you are not able to sleep through the night or focus on your daily responsibilities or work after 3 months, please visit your medical professional, psychiatrist, psychologist or licensed professional counselor.
· Use the trapeze metaphor above: identify what solid foundations are no longer under you and what will be first signs that a new foundation is appearing before you.
· Tell stories of how you enjoyed your life before your loss. Identify what you lost and what you miss about your life prior to your loss. Try to view what you lost and what you miss through a lens of gratitude. In other words, work toward being thankful for what you enjoyed.
· Some people feel as if they are devaluing or abandoning their loved one if they move forward with their lives. Allow yourself to consider how you would want your loved one to move forward if you had been the one who passed on?
· Welcome care from your family, your friends and caregivers such as deacons and pastoral ministers.
· Make a list of scripture verses or quotations that encourage you.
· Pray for other family members who are grieving. Let them know you are praying for them. Expect that your relationship with God will shift a bit as you are attentive to praying through your grieving process. (Allow yourself the freedom to let people know when they offer sick theology to you.)
· Be attentive to ways your grief may express as outbursts of rage, despairing comments, relational distancing, ongoing discouragement, conversations overshadowed by bitterness, fixations upon fantasy, selective memory, behaviors that hurt yourself or others or a redefinition of identity. Please reach out to your counselors if these patterns develop.
If you are caring for or offering supportive ministry to persons who are suspended in grief?
· Affirm their grief, though it is filled with negative emotions, as real and appropriate.
· Relate with them from the position that a healthy relationship with God is based upon honesty – and this means we are not always able to express positive feelings. Negative emotions, questions and doubts must also be expressed to God in our prayers, our shouts of discouragement and despair and our pain. Remind them God is plenty big enough and faithfully loving enough to hear their negative thoughts and doubts.
· Be attentive to the grieving person on a regular basis (sometimes this is best done through contacting family members or close friends). It is so important to encourage the person to seek professional counseling if you learn of significant behavioral changes that reflect a lack of health.
· Some people grieve for long periods of time prior to the death of a loved one. Some caregivers are suspended in grief prior to the death of a loved one because they can begin to feel their loss before it is final. This is especially true for caregivers of persons living with dementia, Alzheimer’s, some types of cancer and diseases which gradually weaken and cause the death of their loved one.
· It may be helpful to offer the trapeze metaphor and offer to be part of their safety net, check on them regularly and even to swing on the suspended trapeze bar with them now and then. (See story below.)
· Keep in mind that some people have difficulty living forward because it feels as if they are devaluing or abandoning their loved one. Ask questions such as, “What memories of name help you find strength today?” “If you had been the one who passed on, how would you have hoped for name to live their life while also remembering and honoring their love for you.” Even if the person has no answer and becomes frustrated by the question, it often helps them reflect on important ideas in the days and weeks ahead.
· You may ask them how other family members are doing. This helps them consider how others are living forward and places their sensibilities on other persons about whom they care.
· Just as each loss is different, each person grieves in their own particular way. One specific scripture verse that is good to keep in mind is Hebrews 11:1 – “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” We are encouraged by faith to live forward with assurance of our hopes and in keeping focused on our convictions that God still has new things to reveal to us.
· You may find it helpful to mark your calendar for anniversaries of the loss. If it was a death, you could also mark your calendar for both the survivor’s birthday and the date of the deceased person’s birthday.
· Pray for the person daily. Tell the person you are praying for them and ask them once every four to six weeks what specifics you can pray for on their behalf or on behalf of their family. (Expect your relationship with God to shift a bit as you offer compassionate care for other persons. You will begin to find pathways of reflection about God’s character that can only be experienced by serving others.)
· Determine who else is in the circle of compassionate concern and ministry for this person and have conversations with them so you are serving them as a team; others will also appreciate learning from you.
· Remember that some situations present as ‘repeating grief.’ This occurs in families where divorce has happened and children are involved. Each family decision may present ‘repeating grief’ for the adults and children – even if the children are adults. Another example of repeating grief surfaces when a family is living with lost visions because of chronic health conditions, addictions, health limitations, physical handicaps, or financial setbacks which limit capacities to live in ways that were once envisioned.
· Listen and watch for outbursts of rage, despairing comments, relational distancing, ongoing discouragement, conversations overshadowed by bitterness, fixation upon fantasy, selective memory or redefinition of identity. If you sense evidence of these factors, encourage the person to seek professional counseling.
· Offer to pray with the person occasionally. You may also ask them to voice a prayer
· Help the grieving person express gratitude for experiences of the lost loved one. Ask them for what they enjoyed. You may also have stories to tell sharing enjoyable memories of the person.
· You may be able to use the following story: When you entered this experience of grief, it is as if you had to step off of the platform on which you were firmly standing. As you stood there, you could see open space between where you were and the different experience on the other side of your loss. What you could not fully realize is that God’s faithfulness is like a swinging trapeze bar that offers you a firm support as you swing between your past and your future. The wonderful fact about this swinging trapeze bar is that, although you may feel at risk in the midst of your grieving, the trapeze bar is actually holding you even more securely than you are grasping the bar. Some of us will offer you a security net. We will be present with you as you gradually swing your way to the platform of your future. Although it will be different, the same God who gave you blessings in your past will bring blessings to you in the future. We are in this time with you.
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Food Truck Fellowship
Sunday, November 8
Meet in the Broach Hall parking lot!
We will register up to 50 persons for each time slot:
Group 1 will gather from 11:15 to 12:00.
Group 2 will gather from 12:00 to 12:45.
Remember To:
- Register in advance (see below)
- Bring your own seating (picnic blanket, camp chairs...)
- Wear your face covering
Food Trucks:
JJ Lange's Beatz and Eatz
Queen's Ice
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Undie Sunday: November 8
Thank you all for your generous donations to the Loaves and Fishes Food Drive on Sunday, October 25!
On Sunday, November 8, we request that you bring men's boxer shorts, undershirts, and socks for Hope Chapel during the Food Truck Sunday lunch times. If you do not plan on coming for the lunch, you can still drop off items in the barrels outside of Broach Hall without having to come into contact with anyone. Please drop off between 11:15am and 12:45pm.
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Create Your Realm Account
Over the past 6 months we have been implementing our new church database, Realm, to not only manage our church data but also improve our communications and engagement. We have had many of you complete your personal log-in and begin to use the available tools and resources.
As of now we still have over 200 persons who have been invited but not yet logged in. It is important for every member or attendee of St. John’s who is able to participate with Realm. In the coming weeks you will receive important giving and contribution information via Realm and also have the opportunity to make your upcoming pledge online. If you have not received an email invitation to join Realm, it is possible we do not have your correct contact information.
If you need assistance with setting up your profile please contact Derek or Mallory.
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Jubilee Store 2020
Charlotte Family Housing’s annual Jubilee Store will continue to empower families who are moving out of homelessness to use their savings to buy Christmas gifts for their children. As with so many things in 2020, the Jubilee Store is adapting to pandemic life. Since we can't gather and have a giant store at the church as in the past few years, Jubilee Store will be providing families the opportunity to purchase gift cards at a reduced rate so that they can buy gifts for their children this Christmas. Along with these gift cards for children's gifts, families will receive a gift card to go toward a holiday meal, a basket with holiday goodies, and supplies for wrapping gifts. These Items will be distributed at a festive drive-through store the weekend before Thanksgiving (November 21 and 22) as a kick-off to the holiday season.
We are partnering with Myers Park Presbyterian, Myers Park United Methodist, and Charlotte Family Housing to make Jubilee Store happen. Your gift can provide holiday cheer and support for these struggling families during this uncertain time.
- $25 will provide gift wrap supplies
- $50 will provide a holiday meal
- $100 will provide gift cards for 2 children
Gifts of any amount can be made online HERE or text "SJGIVE" to 73256 to give using your mobile device. Select Jubilee Store from drop down menu. Also, checks can be mailed to the church, made payable to St. John’s Baptist Church with a memo line Jubilee Store. Also, watch the Family News for possible volunteer opportunities at the drive-through event.
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Stories Over Lunch with Mrs. Jerry Jerman
by Mallory M. Brown
When we pulled into Jerry Jerman’s driveway, she was waiting at the back door, dressed, nearly head to toe, earrings included, in pastel yellow. She was shrouded by a crown of soft, white hair, like clouds, and wore a smile that would make anyone feel welcome. As we unpacked the lunch we brought to share, she took note of the plastic take-away containers and disposable utensils and insisted we use real dishes and flatware instead. We poured our chips into a crystal bowl to share and sat around the table in her dining room for what ended up being nearly four hours of conversation.
During the time we spent together, she told so many stories that she left most of her lunch untouched, reminding me of my grandfather, Rip, who never seemed to finish his plate for having laughed and talked so much during the dinner times he spent at our house. Additionally, throughout the course of our time with Jerry, I was reminded of the time I spent with my back door neighbor, Mrs. Frances, my great grandmothers, Pansy and Mabeleigh, and my grandmother, Lillian. Jerry made me feel at home, nostalgic for times gone by. Times that were simpler, sweeter, and settled. I longed to sit with my own loved ones one last time to hear more of their stories of lessons learned and lovers lost.
One of the shining motifs found in most of Jerry’s stories was that of her one, true love and husband for 64 years, Bob Jerman. Her home on Aintree is full of photos and memories of Bob. When Jerry talked about him, the smile on her face made her glow. She told us that losing Bob several years ago was one of the hardest parts of her life. She described him as a larger than life character who added so much to her life. During our time, she went on and on about how honest and trusted he was in everything he did, including his tire business. She said so much about their life together - playing bridge, living apart while he was in the Navy, raising their children, Betty and Robert, traveling, and serving together at St. John’s. She told us, “[Bob] told me every day of my life that he loved me and those were the last words I ever heard him say before he died. So, you know I’m proud of him. I loved that man and he loved me.” This kind of love is hard to capture in words on paper. It is better when you hear it from her.
Another common thread in the stories Jerry told was that of her mother, Bessie Williams, and the values she instilled in her and her six brothers and sisters. Her mother not only cared for the basic needs of her family - clothing, food, shelter - but also saw to it that they all knew the power of showing kindness and hospitality to others, even when resources were as tight as they were in the Depression era. Jerry shared a story of a time when a soldier returning from war came knocking on her family’s door. The soldier told Bessie he had a place to sleep but needed a blanket to stay warm. While Bessie could have either shut him out or given him the blanket and sent him on his way, she instead invited him in, let him take a bath, and gave him a nice, heavy quilt and a pillow. Even though her mother had her own family to care for when this soldier knocked, she did not let that stop her from caring for the stranger in her midst. I certainly think we all can take a note from Jerry’s mother and care for others, even when we are tired, overwhelmed, and burdened. Of course, the current pandemic makes it hard to directly care for folks among us but I venture to say there are still plenty of ways to be hospitable from a distance.
As mentioned earlier, Jerry grew up among six siblings during a trying time in history. Therefore, she and her family made do with what they had and seemed to be none the wiser. However, if you know Jerry Jerman, you know she has a flair for fashion. Growing up, she wore what her mother made for her. It was not until she started working after high school that she was able to cultivate her own sense of style. Jerry worked at a women’s shoe shop selling out of season shoes at a discounted price until she landed the coveted job as a coffee girl at S&W Cafeteria downtown on Trade Street. As a coffee girl, she was on the restaurant floor, making sure every cup was full. When she had her children Robert and Betty, she stayed at home but went to work at a children’s clothing store when they were older. Since being able to afford her own fashion choices, she has become somewhat of a style icon in the eyes of many at St. John’s. In fact, this is one of the first things I heard about Jerry Jerman when I began my work at St. John’s in 2018.
Many of you might be wondering when Jerry came to St. John’s. As a child, she went to First Baptist of Charlotte. She and her family walked to church every Sunday because, as she stated, “...that’s just what you did.” She was baptized, along with the rest of her family, by Dr. Luther Little. When she was 18, she had a friend who went to St. John’s and began attending regularly, even helping with Vacation Bible School. She never left St. John’s after this. When she first started attending, Dr. Chauncey Durden with his “...soft, sand-like voice,” was senior minister, followed by Dr. Claude Broach. Jerry was president of the Gleaners Sunday School Class and was given a Bible by this class when she finished her time as president. She still uses this Bible today. Most of the folks Jerry remembers spending time with at St. John’s have passed on and she certainly misses them saying, “Things change and you have to accept it.” Is this not the truth!? Though Jerry is not able to come on Sundays very often anymore, especially now during the pandemic, she wants everyone to know she “...loves St. John’s and would never go anywhere else.”
This year has been a strange challenge for most of us. In addition to a global pandemic and contentious election season, my husband and I brought a child into the world in July. Life is hard and strange these days. However, life has been hard and strange for many folks for generations and generations. Amidst the hard and strange, there is always immense beauty for which to be grateful. From my time with Jerry Jerman, I learned that I can take the challenges life throws and smile and stay amazed at the goodness around me instead of becoming hardened and negative. She gives me hope! Don't we all need hope these days?!
Once the pandemic is over, I hope that each of you actually reading this will be able to visit Jerry in person to hear her stories first-hand. For now, give her a call or write her a letter. To be sure, there are dozens of folks at St. John’s who have a wealth of stories to share. Perhaps you and yours can find some time to reach out to one of them and learn a little something.
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Prayer Concerns, Thanks & Sympathy |
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Polly Hull, Gene & Carol Poole, Elma Thomas,
Peg Russ, Alison Zieglmeier (daughter of Ken and Donna Scott),
Andrew Adair, Barbara Ledford, Tom Bryson,
Carol Hager (sister of Betty Harkey), Carole Ann Simpson, Ken Smith,
Jacob Goodson, Esther Narron
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Jerry Jerman was given a surprise 100th birthday party at her local Harris Teeter! |
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Financial Ministry Plan Report
Week of October 21-26: $8435
Income through October 26: $877,600
Annual 2020 Ministry Plan Budget Goal: $1,175,000
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You can make contributions, view your giving history and pledge status, as well as update your pledge and giving information anytime by accessing your personal
Realm profile online or via the Connect App.
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Contact the Staff
To email a staff member, click on their name below
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