November 2022

   Trauma, Disassociation, and Addiction

          TRAUMA, DISSOCIATION, ADDICTION, AND CHANGE

I was truly surprised as I read my chosen course material to renew my license as a Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. (I must complete 36 hours of continuing education every two years.) One of the topics I chose this time around was “Demystifying Dissociation: Principles, Best Practices, and Clinical Approaches.” 

The title may seem to be off-putting but it had been literally years since I had read anything so eye-opening and relevant to myself, my work as a psychotherapist, and to Attitude Reconstruction. So many puzzle pieces came together that I felt compelled to write down some obvious and startling concepts.

ADDICTION AND DESTRUCTIVE ATTITUDES



Our discomfort and need to escape is retriggered today by similar and subtle memories of our old wounds. For instance, if we felt abandoned, lonely, and unloved as an infant or child and now find ourselves alone, it can produce the strong desire to escape from those painful feelings. We gravitate to a substance or activity that will increase the flow of dopamine in our brain.

In addition to resorting to addictions to escape, a secondary situation occurs when we are not able to express our emotions fully. We developed predictable destructive attitudes to compensate and mask our feelings of sadness, anger, and fear. These manifest in repetitive thoughts, words, and actions. (What these attitudes are and how to dismantle them is the scope of Attitude Reconstruction.)  

Now that I’ve laid the groundwork about trauma and dissociation, let’s get back to addictions and how to get the upper hand over them. It is nearly impossible to stop our addictions from running our lives and stop our tendency to dissociate from the present at emotionally fraught times. We may try something like AA to stop drinking but oftentimes end up substituting cigarettes, coffee, sweets, or endless meetings, to mask our discomfort rather than face the underlying cause.

HOW TO CHANGE

If we want to be our best selves, (filled with the emotions of joy, love, and peace, in Attitude Reconstruction jargon), we must confront our past traumas. This we can do usually, but not necessarily, with a trained professional. There are different effective approaches. Everyone needs to find a modality that feels safe and produces the desired outcome. 

Attitude Reconstruction suggests that the quickest way to accomplish this task is to tell our story (or stories) about what happened, over and over, adding more details with each repetition, while expressing the emotions physically and constructively. This means crying out the sadness, pounding out the anger, and shivering out the fear that are evoked in the telling. This needs to be repeated until there is no longer an emotional charge.

Equally important in order to neutralize the present day impact of the initial trauma, is to build a personal mindfulness practice. These are called “grounding exercises.” When we dissociate, our awareness checks out of the present. A mindful practice brings us back to the moment. This does not necessarily mean meditation. It can be shivering, doing regulated breathing, powering (repeating a thought that is true), visualizations, muscle tense and relax exercises. It can also be activities, like playing with our pets, cleaning, cooking, art, walking, or talking with a supportive friend. We all need to find what works for us and use it often, especially when we’re wanting to indulge our favorite addiction.