News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      


Joy, Love, and Peace in 2017

Attitiude Reconstruction  


  Changing Your Negative Thinking       June 2017  


Jude Bijou 
Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi award- winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.  
Feedback about the communication class earlier this month:

Hi Jude

Just wanted to say thank you for the super class. Enjoyed the group and loved the class.  When my heart is open things show up.

Your handouts are perfect. I really liked the Three Constructive Attitudes (1. honor yourself, 2. accept other people and situations, and 3. stay present and specific) and Five Tools to assist...... I need all those skills to stay focused, calm and to guide a discussion.

As you know, the mind is the trouble maker and I hope my practice will help me to avoid all my annoying mind distractions.

Thanks again.

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"A kitten for your thoughts."

Hello friends,

The Communication Class was good! It's so lovely to create a non-confrontational and relaxed environment for participants to realize that we all struggle with the same issues and obstacles. People are always willing and eager to learn the four communication rules and other information I cover. Their enthusiasm and interest really makes the day fly by.

This month I'll explain how to replace our repetitive and unruly thoughts with something that will serve us much better. But first...

Four Interesting Articles

Here's something silly. What will we buy next for our pets? Samurai Armor for our cats and dogs, of course.

Here's sobering news: an article about what energy drinks do to your body.

This article by CNN reveals that there is a 20 year difference in life expectancy by county in the USA.

The last one is something we all sort of know -- facts don't change our minds
Three Videos Guaranteed to Amaze!

James Corden doing his Carpool Karaoke, hangs with Katy Perry. 
For lovers of nature -- a wisteria flower tunnel in Japan.

Maru, the cat, plays drums on a swing and creates its own autumn music festival. 
We Can Change Our Destructive Thought Patterns     

Just as we are all born with five senses to take in sensations, we are also born with five tools to act on what we sense. We can use any and all of our tools to help us realized our full potential. That is to say, we can change how we use our emotions, thoughts, intuition, speech, and actions.

Thoughts are one of the ways we process what's going on in our world. They can be creative and positive or they can be repetitively negative and bring us down. Are rampant destructive thoughts keeping you down? We all have some well-worn thought paterns that perpetuate our sadness, anger, and fear, and keep us from feeling joy, love, and peace.

These rigid thought patterns are born of unexpressed emotions. They are the way we mentally distract ourselves from experiencing the pure physical sensations - the emotional energy - that is circulating through our bodies. But that's a tangent I don't want to go on today. 
If you're struggling with non-productive or negative thinking, here's something simple you can do to get a taste of the power of Attitude Reconstruction. You can get started on your own transformation today.
There are two elements to rewiring your thinking. First, you need something constructive to focus on. These focus points are called Reliable Truths, and second you need "powering" -- a technique to help you internalize those thoughts.

It's helpful to pinpoint what needs changing by writing down your familiar destructive thoughts. This will help you identify if they are about yourself, the outside world, or time. But if you don't want to, no problem. You can skip that step and go straight away to picking some new thoughts that will resonate with you.

Before you read further, I'd suggest you get three 3 x 5 index cards or post-it notes, a pen, and a kitchen timer if you have one. Of course, you can write it down on your phone and use the timer!

Select Truths to Combat your Faulty Thinking

1. Read through the list of Truths immediately below (preferably out loud). These are statements about yourself and are related to the emotions of sadness and joy. Write down one or two Truths that feel like they would be helpful for you to believe about yourself. 
* What I'm seeking is within me.
* My job is to take care of myself.
* Life is for learning. We all make mistakes.
* I'm doing the best I can. OR I did the best I could.
* My viewpoints and needs are as valid as yours.
* I am responsible for what I think, feel, say, and do.
* I can do this.
* I love myself regardless of what I do.
Now read the entire second grouping of reliable Truths (which are about other people, things, and situations, and are related to the emotions of anger and love. Select one or two of them and write them on a second card or piece of paper.
* People and things are the way they are, not the way  
  I want them to be.
* My focus is myself.
* What he/she thinks of me is none of my business.
* He is doing the best he can. She did the best she could.
* I accept you no matter what.
* We are all on our own paths.
* Your viewpoints and needs are as important as mine.
* We can handle this together.
* How can I help?   What can I do?
Finally, do the same with the third grouping of statements. They are about your relationship to time and associated with the emotions of fear and peace. Write down one or two that feel helpful for you.
* Everything is all right. Everything will be all right.
* This feeling is temporary. This situation will pass.
* Stop. Breathe. Slow down. Be here now.
* Stay specific.
* One thing at a time.
* I'll handle the future in the future.
* I'll do what I can, and the rest is out of my hands.
* Everything is unfolding in its own time.
* Let go.
Power Away -- The More the Better

Now, all you have to do is internalize your reliable truths, by using a technique that I call "powering." I tell folks that 100,000 repetitions of a truth should about do it. Think about how many times you've told yourself the opposite.
To power, keep repeating your statements over and over with a desire and intention to really internatize the meaning of what you are saying. You can power silently, but saying it aloud makes it real because you think, speak, and hear the words. You can close your eyes if you want. Change the tone, tempo, emphasis, and speed. If emotions arise, let yourself cry, shiver, or stomp (or however you best move the anger energy) and keep your attention focused on repeating your Truth.
The key is not to voice all the discounters. Set a timer for one minute eleven seconds. Then reset your timer and do it again. It's great to do five blocks at a time. Every repetition helps. 
You can think your new thoughts as a focused and concentrated activity alone, daily or several times a day; repeat them when you hear the old destructive chatter in your head. Say them to yourself while doing other activities, such as showering, driving, or exercising.
There are tangible rewards, which are called "divine shifts," when you truly experience the meaning of what you are saying. Whether you have a shift or not, you'll definitely feel much better when you take charge of your thinking.
Give it a try. Keep your Truths nearby and be prepared to feel the change! 
Let me know what truths you selected and your experiences or questions.

Hey Jude, 

My mental commentary is relentless. How do I get a truth to sink in?

The short answer is "express some emotions"! That will help you cut to the chase almost immediately. Even more importantly "keep powering." Select a truth and immerse yourself in it as often as you can throughout the day, during preset blocks of time and any other time as needed.

Designate times when you will repeat your truths such as when you first wake up, before going to bed, each time you climb stairs, or when you're waiting for a green light. Another great way to really take in what you're saying is to repeat your truths out loud, over and over, while looking at yourself in the mirror.
        I'm sending you best wishes for an uplifting and positive attitude.

Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so write me at: [email protected]
                           With love,