PART 1: BACKING IN

My plans for the future include a Weblog about the phenomena of cars and especially large pick-up trucks backing into parking spots.

This seems to be a trend and I have some thoughts about it, but I'd like some readers to chip in with thoughts.

If you are a person who backs in, I'd like to hear your rationale.

If you are someone who doesn't back in, but it drives you crazy, I'd also like to hear from you. Just reply to this Weblog and I'll get your message.

PART 2: ANIMAL IDIOMS

Most of us have never met a turkey, a lion, a clam, a mule, a wolf, an albatross or a bull. But that doesn't stop us from talking about them as if we were a farmer or a hunter or a safari guide.

We love to use expressions that compare someone or something with an animal in the metaphor.

In fact, there are so many expressions, for purposes of this Weblog I had to limit the phrases we use to 20 metaphors in Part 1.

More to follow?

1-Happy as a Clam

There is really no way to know if a clam is truly happy, is there? I mean they are living under the sand with no sunlight until someone comes along, digs them up, eventually batters and breads them, deep fries them, including their bellies, and then they make it to someone's plate.

Where's the happiness in that sentence?

I have never dug up a clam at either low tide or high tide, but as I understand it, the original phrase was 'happy as a clam at high tide.' Apparently, clams are hardest to catch when the tide is high, and they are under the sand under the water, making them "safe" and presumably "happy."

2-Dog & Pony Show

Personally, I have never been to a real dog and pony show, and I'm not sure I would attend one if I were offered a free ticket. Have I been to dog and pony shows in an office? Yes maybe hundreds of overdramatic, not enjoyable, flashy, lacking substance shows..

This phrase originated in the late 19th century and originally referred to actual dog and pony shows in small traveling circuses or vaudeville shows.

3-Sly as a Fox

I have never hunted with a fox, or for a fox, or hunted at all. My understanding is that the reputation of foxes, probably originating with bad hunters, is that they are adaptable, quick-thinking animals that are evasive, reinforcing the idea of their slyness.

In folklore they are portrayed as wily, elusive, and strategic. Not to be confused with Wily Coyote, who must be related.

4-Elephant in the Room

I have never been in the same room as an elephant, so I cannot validate this expression with personal experience.

In fact, I have never heard of an elephant being inside anything except their zoo enclosure or in the wild. Quick question: when elephants come from their habitat to a zoo, do you think they fly or are shipped on a freighter? I hope they are sedated and placed in a strong crate.

5- Could Eat a Horse

We've all been very hungry, but I have never thought about eating a horse. I've had a few beef dishes in my life, and so have you, and maybe we both suspected they may not have been sourced from a cow.

But stop and think about it: what's the difference between a horse and cow when cooked? I have eaten buffalo so what's the issue with horse meat? I mean, eating an entire horse is another story.

6-Cat Got Your Tongue

First of all, I have never stuck my tongue out at a cat right in front of my face. My guess is that unless you are one of those famous cat ladies, you've not done that either.

Is there a comparable phrase like a 'dog got your tongue' or 'the horse got your tongue?' One rumor has it the ancient Egyptians, who thought cats were sacred, would, ahem, remove your tongue if you angered the gods. I checked other potential originations, but none of them were as cool.

7-Go Cold Turkey

Today you can go cold turkey on social media, caffeine, or Netflix, but the original meaning was to equate withdrawal symptoms like chills, sweating, goosebumps, and clammy, pale skin with the cold, plucked skin of a turkey. I've never had that type of skin, but I did quit sugared soft drinks cold turkey, and if I ever learn enough about Facebook to be addicted, I can see myself quitting that cold turkey as well.

8-Let the Cat Out of the Bag

Another Cat metaphor, although I have never had a cat in a bag, so there is no danger I would let it out. Did the Baha Men think of this when they asked 'Who Let the Dogs Out? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.'

This generally means 'spoil the surprise' but I would be surprised if you could get a cat in a bag quietly. That might be a bigger surprise?

9-A Fish Out of Water

We all know someone who has been a fish out of water and maybe even coached the New England Patriots. It is a metaphor for hopeless, but my question is why not use 'a clam in a tree' as equivalently hopeless?

Anyway, can't fish flop back into the water sometimes? Asking for a friend.

10-Stubborn as a Mule

I won't name names, but we all know someone that this expression applies to. Since I've never had a mule, touched a mule or tried to talk a mule into doing anything, I don't usually take advantage of this metaphor.

What's the point of having a mule if they don't do what you tell them to do?

11-Kill Two Birds with One Stone

First of all, you shouldn't be throwing rocks at birds, period. Even if you are hunting, this is too cave-man-ish for the 21st Century.

Even if one action solves two problems, if you keep using this expression, PETA will find you and shame you.

12-A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

I know, the obvious question is: what does a sheep wear, and where do they get their garments? The second question is how dumb to you have to be to NOT spot a wolf in sheep's clothing?

A broader question for me is why there is no plural of the word sheep? Why no sheeps?

13-Busy as a Bee

I think it is just a rumor that bees are busy. I know every time I see a bee, I head the other way.

The last thing I want to do is watch a bee work. How do you feel when someone looks over your shoulder when you are working? What makes you think that wouldn't irritate a bee as well? Who wants to be around an irritated bee?

14-Like a Deer in the Headlights

This is another misnomer (another word I've been dying to use). If the deer sees your car on the road, they are likely to either politely wait until you pass, or race to the other side.

A more important question might be "why did the deer cross the road?" That is way more interesting than the chicken crossing the road. Note: I've never seen a chicken cross the road, but I have seen a deer do it.

15-A Bull in a China Shop

Why on earth would anyone put a bull in a china shop? What is the objective? Was there nowhere else to put him?

You have to have rocks in your head to even have a pet bull don't you? Stop and think about the BS involved, and ask yourself the question where did the BS phrase come from?

16-The Lion’s Share

First of all, I never knew that lions shared things. Did you? And who are they sharing with? Apparently, Aesop of fable fame coined the phrase. Who knew?

What if there are lions, and tigers and bears? (Oh my!) What would they share? A deer? A wolf? Fried Clams? Who gets the most when those three are at the table together?

17-Like a Lamb to Slaughter

We all like talking about 'slaughter' don't we? We all wish we could work in or visit a 'slaughterhouse' don't we? I don't think so. Oblivious and slaughter go hand in hand.

Now, we may enjoy eating lamb on a night out, but I'm not certain that thinking about the slaughter of that poor innocent little thing improves the taste, do you?

18-Fly on the Wall

It is interesting to think that a fly can hear, isn't it? How do they stay in that position anyway? What is the anti-gravity secret they have? Why do we like to eavesdrop like a fly?

There are lots of things I never want to be, and close to the top of the list is a fly. So many traps, so many swatters, so many lambs led to slaughter to feed on.

19-An Albatross Around Your Neck

I bet you've never seen an albatross, have you? I thought is was a land animal until ChatGPT drew this illustration for me. There is no way that an albatross would be around my neck. The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner coined the phrase and that's more than I need to know.

But be careful if you try to use a stone to remove it.

20-A Canary in a Coal Mine

A real metaphor since miners do or did bring canaries into the mines to alert them to poisonous gasses.

The thing that I don't know is where the canary stores are in coal country and are there 'Mine Canaries' and 'Home Canaries' and what's the difference? Also, do the canaries wear masks?

Lena was happy as a clam when she landed a spot at the biggest marketing agency in town. She had always dreamed of working in a high-energy environment, but on her first day, she felt like a fish out of water.

Sitting in the conference room, she tried to be a fly on the wall, quietly observing the fast-paced discussion. That strategy didn’t last long—her boss, Mr. Whitmore, had a habit of calling on new employees at random. When he suddenly asked for her input, she froze, staring like a deer in the headlights while the entire room waited. “What’s wrong, Lena? Cat got your tongue?” he said with a smirk, making her cheeks burn.

Determined to prove herself, she threw herself into her work, staying busy as a bee and taking on extra projects. But the office had its share of drama. The company's flashy presentations felt like a dog and pony show, and office gossip spread faster than wildfire.

One day, she overheard a senior executive, slick and sly as a fox, whispering about an upcoming round of layoffs. It was the elephant in the room that no one dared to address. Her coworker, Dan, who had always seemed friendly, turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, stealing credit for her ideas. Frustrated but determined, Lena knew she had to play smart if she wanted to survive in this cutthroat world.

Then came the company’s biggest pitch of the year. Lena worked tirelessly, fighting for the lion’s share of the project, even when Dan tried to shut her out. But disaster struck when their lead designer, overwhelmed by stress, decided to go cold turkey on caffeine right before the final presentation.

As a result, he stumbled through his portion like a bull in a china shop, sending the entire pitch into chaos. Panicked, Lena stepped in and took control, managing to salvage the meeting. Just when she thought she had saved the day, Dan, in his usual underhanded way, let the cat out of the bag—telling the client about an unfinished feature that was meant to stay under wraps.

Despite the challenges, Lena refused to give up. She learned to be stubborn as a mule when it mattered and figured out how to kill two birds with one stone by outworking her competition while staying ahead of office politics. She watched out for the signs of failure like a canary in a coal mine, refusing to walk like a lamb to slaughter in a company that didn’t value her. With her newfound confidence, she finally shook off the weight of self-doubt—no longer carrying an albatross around her neck.

And when she finally landed her dream promotion, she walked into the office, feeling so hungry she could eat a horse—ready to devour every challenge that came her way.