News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™
Joy, Love, and Peace for 2023
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Appreciations and Gratitudes | |
Uplift your Yourself, Others, and Your Mom on this Day and Every Day
If you are feeling a bit "dry” as Mother’s Day approaches, there is a chance you're taking things in life for granted -- health, friends, family, wealth, or life itself. This results in a tendency to shut yourself and others off from the love and joy born of relationships. You're likely focusing on what’s missing. In the process, you're robbing your heart of meaningful connections and the ability to enjoy all that you have been given.
Being unappreciative in general and focusing on the half empty is a core attitude that Attitude Reconstruction associates with the emotion of anger. These qualities block our ability to experience the emotion of love. It’s time to reverse your old tendency. The good news is that there are ways to rekindle the warmth in your heart. Research has shown the benefit of regularly offering gratitude.
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Give Gifts that Don't Involve Spending Money
Good gift giving takes some forethought. Here are some tips about ways you can make any holiday or any moment truly memorable without spending any cash:
1. To celebrate Mother's Day, write a card, by reflecting on something you appreciate about your mother. Then express it. It doesn’t matter if your mother is still alive or has passed on to the happy hunting grounds.
2. Make a list of others in your life that you want to thank or acknowledge. Then one at a time put yourself in their shoes and decide what would be meaningful for him or her.
3. Consider giving something homemade like they did in the "old days." Bake something, write a poem, make a video, put together some photos, give gift certificates for future outings or chores you'll do, or get crafty and make something.
4. Offer gratitudes, or kind words about how you feel about your relationship, or your target’s actions, attitudes, or personality.
5. Ask yourself "How can I impact people in a positive way?" Maybe find a cause to volunteer for, such as visiting a hospital, serving dinner at a shelter, or collecting toys for those less fortunate. Volunteering is an easy way to put your concerns about your life on the back burner and get some perspective about the larger picture and the joy of the season.
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The Power of Gratitude
Here are a few tips to feel better and feed your heart on a daily basis, regardless of whether it’s a holiday or not.
* Pay attention to good fortune, and you'll realize you're fortunate in every moment.
* Verbalize your gratitude, acknowledging the magnificence of what life presents.
* Count your blessings whenever you're unhappy, flat, or dry – anytime.
* In difficult or mundane situations, with friends or strangers, ask yourself, "What is the gift here? What are the benefits of having things turn out like this?" Look for the silver lining.
* Reframe unplanned inconveniences by recognizing even situations, like missing a train connection, can offer gifts such as having a couple of hours to yourself.
* As a daily exercise, write, think of, or verbalize one to five things you're grateful for. For example, "I’m grateful for my good health." "I'm grateful for my friends and family." "I'm grateful for this meal."
* Remember your list throughout the day and in doing so, you'll experience the positive feelings that you create.
* Say "thank you" often as giving thanks expresses recognition of life's bountiful offerings. Don't forget to say "Thank you for your help."
* Repeat often, expressions such as:
Thank you!
I am fortunate.
I am blessed.
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The Benefits of Offering Gratitudes and Appreciations
If you follow these simple suggestions, you'll feel more waves of love. You'll experience the sweet feeling of gratitude for all things, great and small, and recognize life is full of blessings in every moment. You'll be able to give to others without expecting anything in return and feel more connected to life. You might even realize that it's a gift to be alive, regardless of your struggles or challenges. You'll smile more often because your heart is lighter. In short, you'll feel blessed no matter your circumstance.
May I suggest that as you contact your mother or mother surrogate, voice what you are grateful for. It will put a heartwarming spin on this sacred day. The idea is to stay present so you bask in the spirit of your gesture. Focus on the activity of the moment, open your heart, and enjoy the love.
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Hey Jude: I've had such a hard year that it's difficult to feel grateful. Do you have any
advice for me?
Two suggestions come to mind. First, fake it until you make it. There must be some little blessings. Focus on them for starters. It will get easier over time. Be grateful for what you have, such as a roof over your head, food when you're hungry, family (even if they are difficult), a job (even if it's not enough to cover all your expenses), good health, a sound mind, etc.
The second suggestion is to make sure you are emotionally processing all the hurts, losses, injustices, violations, and threats to your survival. That means have that good cry to acknowledge the sadness, yell, or stomp to let out the anger, and shiver and shake to move out the fear. Your unexpressed negative emotions can block the ability to feel and express heartfelt love.
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Thanks for all your kind words about the newsletter. They mean a lot!
Happy Spring.
Best always,
Jude
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