In This Issue
President's Message
General MeetingApril 7th
Ladies Lunch
Men's Lunch
Out & About
Quick Links
Robert Grose

Gail Sherson


Robert Grose


Phil Howell
Grant Foster
Norm Kilarski

April 1st

President's Message                  

It's Spring in Nanoose and the millions of tiny buds appearing on the trees remind me of the huge number of people who voted me in as your President, huger by far than any past president. So many people, in fact, they were lined up in the parking lot as far back as you can see..probably farther in fact! 
So, like I promised in the campaign, we're gonna eject all those transplants that come to take advantage of our wonderful speakers and plant a great big, beautiful HEDGE all round St. Mary's Church Hall.  It's gonna keep the "other" PROBUS  out.  And, furthermore, we're gonna make them pay for it!

And just last night, I issued another Executive Order: Treasurer Doug Pearson will discount annual dues for members in the highest income bracket.  This will give them an incentive to create work, lots more work for the rest of us.  Can't give you details right now but they will all come out soon, very soon...very, very soon.

And lastly, special thanks to all of you who step up and volunteer your time - especially those silly women who turn out this ridiculous fake eNews month after month.   Together, we're gonna MAKE OUR PROBUS GREAT AGAIN!

Gotta go now.  Just learned that past-President Robert Grose has been hacking my emails.  Terrible!
GENERAL MEETING SPEAKER: April 7      Scatologist Elmer B. Kindacrase
 Dr. Elmer B. Kindacrase, a world-renowned Scatologist, is now Professor Emeritus from UBC. During a hiking trip in the far north of Vancouver Island 10 years ago, Dr. Kindacrase noticed a large scatological deposit near a humanoid footprint nearly 18" long.

He had the presence of mind to take a sample of the deposit and determined through DNA testing that it was very close to, but not quite, human. After weeks of intensive study, he concluded that the deposit was left by a male Sasquatch, a species whose presence has been reported from time to time, but never scientifically proven.

Sasquatch are believed to have evolved in Asia about 100,000 years ago from a primate called Gigantopithecus Africanus. Some of these creatures migrated across the land bridge to North America that formed about 20,000 years ago and their descendants are now sparsely located in remote regions along the west coast of North America.

Dr. Kindacrase has received little help in his research from the local natives in the area, as they are concerned that their "First Nations" honorific could be in jeopardy. Therefore, since his initial discovery he has spent every Summer and Fall alone and unaided in a specially-built blind near his original find, quietly waiting for a return of the beast. To attract its (their) attention, he constructed a special device to facilitate their activities.

Join us at our meeting on April 7th to hear Dr. Kindacrase describe his research and the discoveries that he has made to date. He promises to convince all of us of the presence of the Sasquatch in our midst.

Ladies Who Munch!    April 13th

Pat's Pick for April is the easily accessible Arlington Pub
just off Highway 19 right here in Nanoose.  For you ladies
 who like to put away a lot of beer without worrying about a long trip home,
 be sure to sign up early as we'll have competition from the bikers
 who enjoy frequenting this popular Inn.  Word has it they make a wicked
cheeseburger with bacon as well!

So Ladies, start that futile diet next month and sign up here...
Men's  Lunch - Tuesday, April 11th
This month's organizer has decided that those dark, stale, smelly pubs are getting to be just too much. 

"It's time for something completely different" says Toni E.

For those of you who enjoy a nice cuppa with your crust-less cucumber sandwiches be sure to join the guys at The Calico Cat Tea Room.

Sure, it's a long drive to the South end of Nanaimo but what else do you guys have to do!

C'mon fellas,  Sign up here...

Upcoming Out & About:     Bungee Jumping!!
Looking for something a bit more exciting than the usual PROBUS excursions to theater and all those little local tours? 

With warmer weather just round the corner, our Social Organizer, Kim, is planning a trip to Wild Play in Nanaimo so those of you who are more adventurous can risk your life Bungee Jumping.  

This will be a summer event, probably July or August.  So start training and stay tuned..Wheeee!

Membership Dues & Overdues

For those of you who still haven't paid your membership dues (You know who you are and so does Membership Chair and ex-schoolteacher, Bonnie H.)   See Bonnie at the break and bring your cheque book!

You will also be required to put away all the chairs after the meeting and then stay on for a detention.