Click below to read our April 2021 Blog edition.

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GROWING DEMAND, LAGGING SUPPLY - Inflation, as measured by the “Consumer Price Index (CPI),” was up +0.62% in March 2021, the highest monthly rate recorded in the United States since June 2009 (almost 12 years ago). There have been just 6 months in the last 30 years (360 months) when monthly US inflation has been greater than +0.62% (source: Bureau of Labor Statistics).

THE PANDEMIC - The mortality rate in the USA was 1.03% in 2020, the highest mortality rate in our country in 77 years. The nation’s mortality rate peaked at 1.07% in 1943. As recently as 2009, our mortality rate was 0.79%, the lowest rate nationwide since 1912 (source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

NEED A CHARGE? - The “American Jobs Plan,” a $2.3 trillion infrastructure proposal by the Biden White House on 3/31/21, includes $174 billion (8% of the total plan) to be invested in the domestic electric vehicle market. Funds would be used to build and maintain 500,000 charging stations nationwide (source: Biden White House).

FORTY YEARS AGO - The average 30-year fixed rate mortgage as of 10/09/81 was 18.63%, the highest national average recorded in US history. The average 30-year fixed rate mortgage last week (as of Thursday 4/15/21) was 3.04% (source: Freddie Mac).

THIRTYSOMETHING - The average age of a “first-time” US homebuyer in 2020 was 36.1 years old (source: New York Fed Consumer Credit Panel).

YOUR HOME - The average property taxes paid in 2020 on a single-family home in the USA was $3,719, equal to 1.1% of the fair market value of the average home nationwide. The most expensive property tax states are New Jersey (2.20% effective property tax rate), Illinois (2.18% effective rate) and Texas (2.15% effective rate). An average single-family home in New Jersey paid $9,196 in property taxes in 2020 (source: Attom Data Solutions).

SKINNY THIN - Computer chips, critical to the processing capabilities of today’s computers, include copper foils that are 50 times thinner than a strand of human hair (source: Financial Times).

ARTIFICIALLY LOW - Personal bankruptcies in the United States in 2020, i.e., nonbusiness bankruptcies, totaled 522,808, down 66% from 1,536,799 personal bankruptcy filings in 2010 (source: United States Courts).

The pandemic has businesses everywhere on the ropes, with many firms filing for bankruptcy since lockdowns began. Despite the uncertainty, tech giants and major digital retail brands are still thriving—and some are running circles around those that are less pandemic-proof.

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Most clients wish to help their children and grandchildren financially and to keep that assistance as equitable as possible. The devil is in the details, as the offspring rarely take the same course in life, much less at the same time. Some may need more, others less, and those needs can change over the years.

Here are some ways parents and grandparents can efficiently provide money and support to their kids and grandkids, without jeopardizing the clients’ financial security or family harmony.

The key factor in helping the clients avoid insolvency and infighting is to adopt the philosophy of whenever they are providing financial support to one sibling or grandchild, they should strive to give a similar amount to other family members at the same time. Doing so simultaneously ensures that the same percentage of the client’s net worth is being doled out to each of the siblings.

For instance, let’s say your client calls you up and says that his adult daughter needs $20,000 to purchase a decent used vehicle. Assuming the client is so inclined, he should also consider giving an equal amount to his other adult children, whether they’re buying a car at that time or not. If the client can’t afford (or stand) to give the same amount out to all of his adult children concurrently, he should scale back the size of each gift until he reaches a more tolerable total figure. And he might appreciate being able to blame the reduced gift on his “bad cop” financial advisor.

One of the fairest ways to provide money for college is to deposit equal dollar amounts for every child or grandchild in a 529 account. The dollar amounts should be the same regardless of the difference in the children’s ages, as the future investment returns will likely be offset by inflation in college costs.

A question among the children (or their parents) might be, “What if a particular child doesn’t attend college, and/or need the money for higher education expenses?”

The client has several options, including specifying that the largesse is only for those who further their education beyond high school, liquidating the account and giving the after-tax (and penalty) net proceeds to the designated beneficiary or transferring the account balances to another family member who needs the money for college.

Some of the client’s offspring may want to eventually pursue advanced (and expensive) degrees, such as law or medical school. Unless the client is willing and able to dole out an equal amount to the rest of the family members of the same generation at that time, she should encourage the student to borrow from public or private lenders for whatever else she needs to cover her educational costs. Since the student will (hopefully) be responsible for repaying those loans from her future income, this rejection will force her to re-evaluate the economic viability of spending more time and money on extra years of schooling. 

Since housing prices can vary widely by geographic region, your clients may have a dilemma when trying to help their adult children buy a home. Offering to give the would-be buyers a percentage of the house’s purchase price (say, 10%) may seem equitable, but it will mean a huge difference in dollars if one kid is buying a condo in Manhattan and another purchasing a stand-alone home in Peoria, Ill. Using percentages could also give the kids an unintended incentive to purchase a more expensive place, since doing so will increase the size of the gift.

Instead, the older generation could state that they will provide the lesser of a percentage, or a flat dollar amount. For instance, either the aforementioned 10% or $25,000, whichever is lower.

Often a clients’ wealth is comprised not just of paper investments like mutual funds and CDs, but also ownership of a small business or real estate. Dividing these illiquid assets equally is hard enough, but it’s even more so when particular members of the family have a greater interest than others in owning and operating the asset.

The simplest, but most capital-intensive, solution is for the older generation to have the asset appraised by an independent expert, gift it to the family members who want it and then give other investments of equal value to those children or grandchildren who have no desire to own the illiquid asset.

These transactions can also be structured as an ongoing or annual series of distributions, especially if the illiquid asset can be divided into fractional shares that can be given each year.

Another option is to have the involved family members purchase the asset from the older generation now, with the purchase financed either by a bank or the sellers. Then the loan payments from the buyers get kicked back into the original owners’ portfolio (and eventually estate) to be distributed equally among the descendants, including the buyers.

Speaking of avoiding conflict, naïve clients might be shocked at how family squabbles can erupt over who gets seemingly-worthless items like an old lamp or a dining room table. Rather than making the heirs take part in a post-mortem battle royal, it’s best for the older generation to adopt a pro-active approach to bequeathing sentimental possessions.

The cleanest, coldest practice is to put everything in a client’s estate up for public auction, compelling family members to put their own money up to beat the highest bidder for a particular item. But a softer strategy would be to have the clients create an inventory of items, and then give each interested family member an equal amount of fictional “points” the child or grandchild can use to bid in a private auction open only to relatives. There still may be some conflict, but removing real money from the equation will level the playing field. 

It’s one of the most important decisions many of us will ever make. And we often get it wrong.

I’m talking about retirement—and specifically when to do it. If you are lucky enough to be able to determine your own retirement date, be grateful that this change is not being forced upon you. But also be aware that it isn’t a simple decision. Many of us know friends who thought they were emotionally ready but later regretted having retired. And we know colleagues who thought they were not ready, and then got sick or died young, filled with regret that they had missed out on a phase of life that could have been wonderful.

It doesn’t have to be this way. After seeing hundreds of individuals and couples in psychotherapy over many years, and writing a book on retirement, I believe that retirement-timing mistakes can be the exception rather than the rule. The key is to know what questions to ask yourself—and how to understand the answers.

To that end, here are eight questions that I think can make all the difference.

To answer this takes a little soul-searching, especially after decades of simply accepting your weekly routine. But if you pay attention to your gut feelings at the end of the weekend, or at the end of a vacation, you’ll know whether your stomach is in an unhappy knot with worry, a happy knot with anticipation, or somewhere in between.

One CEO, whom I saw weekly from ages 59 to 69, had been in his position for 18 years. Although he would tell you he loved his job, he hated the angst he felt at the office every day—especially on Mondays.

Over time, he realized that he was hanging onto work as his refuge—the place where he found success and recognition—to avoid confronting issues he had at home.

People were shocked when he announced his retirement at age 67 because they thought he had nothing else in his life. But he knew the decision was right for him. For the next two years, I saw him learn and grow and find other sources of happiness with his family. His stomach had told him what his mind was unable to see.

By this age, you should know what resources you need to live on and what you will have in income and savings for your retirement years. But people sometimes screw up, or circumstances screw them up. Maybe they (or a financial adviser) mismanaged their nest egg. Maybe the market collapses in a totally unexpected way just after they stop working. The unknowns are unknown.

So it’s a useful exercise to imagine cutting expenses if you ever have to. How might your life change in that way, and how would you feel about that? Are you emotionally prepared for it, or would it be best to keep working, at least for a while?

You are unique, yes, but you can learn a lot from people you know and trust.

In my experience, seeking the advice of trusted friends is particularly important for successful women, who are prone to second-guess themselves and feel insecure about next steps, especially when it comes to retirement. They have often worked harder than men to establish their success, and the job has given them identity and independence. They think they will go crazy without work. But almost all are surprised how much they love retirement, how quickly they fill up their time with meaningful projects, and how much better they feel when they control their own time.

I have one friend who loved her job, and while she wanted to make some kind of change when she turned 65, she feared she would suffer a recurrence of her lifelong depression if she left work and had nothing to do.

Her husband advised her to continue working. Instead, she got a group of professional women friends together, and they told her: “Do it now! You’ll be glad you did.”

Their encouragement gave her the courage to see that she was ready for retirement— even if her fear didn’t allow her to see that. She found volunteer work with a political candidate she admired, she started speaking at schools about career choices, and she started discussion groups at the local YWCA, helping others make the retirement decisions that had been so hard for her

The easiest emotional transition away from full-time work is sometimes a part-time or consulting contract, either with a new company or with your existing employer. It’s a question many would-be retirees should be asking themselves.

It often works well, allowing a retiree to test the waters if they aren’t absolutely sure it’s the right time to leave the workforce completely. But people need to do their homework before they assume the answer is yes. I saw in therapy a former chief financial officer who at 66 wasn’t quite ready to retire fully. So he took a job handling the books for another company. He learned within the first week how different that system was from his old one, how upset he felt when he couldn’t quickly pick up nuances from his underlings and how angry he got when his boss criticized him. He quit within one month.

Although in the end it turned out well—thanks, in part, to therapy, which helped him to improve his marriage and understand the possibilities in retirement—it was a traumatic period that could have been avoided had he answered this question with more care.

Some people are so consumed with hobbies already that they barely have time to work, while others have never had a hobby and doubt that they can think of anything in retirement. But being able to answer this question in the affirmative is often crucial: The most successful retirees seem to need either part-time volunteer work or hobbies that they love and that keep them busy.

Still, people who assume they would like volunteer work would do well to explore the idea fully before answering this question. If you fall in love with the concept of a volunteer job, it’s a good sign you’re ready to make the big move.

But it is entirely possible that you’ll find it tedious—especially if you’ve been a boss during your career. It is often a shock to offer your time, and then be asked to stuff envelopes or work in a boring gift shop. Or you may be honored to be asked to be on a nonprofit board, but then walk into a hornet’s nest of infighting that you had thought you had left behind in your old job. You may also find that a large financial contribution is expected.

This is a question that men, in particular, need to ask themselves. People seldom think about which work friendships will continue in their postretirement life. In fact, they have no idea whether their co-workers are really friends or not. They are often shocked in retirement when they call former co-workers for lunch and are told “no.” Also, men have a tendency to think that their wife’s friends are their own; they are not. There is a famous quote: I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.

In fact, a survey I did with groups I spoke to showed that on the question of “Who is your best friend?” more than 60% of men said “my wife,” while less than 20% of women said “my husband.” Friendship is not as easy for most men as it is for most women. Men think it’s a compliment to name their wife as best friend, but it’s really not. We all need best friends as well as spouses/partners.

So before retiring, think hard about whether you’re going to have those social connections that most of us crave and need to stay healthy, whether we think we do or not.

The decision should be yours as much as possible. You don’t want to blame your partner if things go wrong, as tempting as that will be.

Nevertheless, it is hugely important to understand the motivation behind your partner’s advice on whether you should retire. Is she already retired and pushing me to be more available? Is he getting ready to retire and doesn’t want to be bored at home alone?

Your relationship will thrive much more in retirement if you both know not only each other’s surface meanings but also the deep feelings involved. In other words, this question is important as a catalyst to a conversation—a lot of conversations—so that there are no surprises after the fact. Once one of you retires, a lot of those conversations that never took place when work was a refuge are suddenly on the table. It is much easier to have those conversations earlier rather than later.

I counseled one couple for four years. They were the same age, both accomplished and working in jobs they enjoyed. They had friends who were planning a year in Paris, and then a year in London. He decided it was time to retire and assumed she would feel the same. He was shocked when she said she wanted to work for another five years.

The repercussions were ugly. He accused her of ruining their lives, and their children all took his side. But she held her ground. Despite the pressure, she just wasn’t ready. After much discussion in therapy, they came to an understanding: He was ready and she was not. He came up with other interests to pursue while she worked, and they agreed they might spend two years abroad when she retires. They are still happily married and she hasn’t retired yet.

I am often asked whether couples should retire together or at different times. There are good individual reasons for each position, but I generally recommend that husbands retire first. This may happen naturally because women are usually younger and have gotten serious about their career later. In that case, husbands who have never learned to cook or clean or organize the home have time to learn these skills and then share more equally in these tasks after both are retired.

In my survey, the No. 1 reason people felt they might divorce after retirement was because they wanted to live in different places and have different lifestyles—the woman often wanting to be near grandchildren; the man wanting sun and sports. This is a difficult area in which to find compromise. But asking yourself whether you’re on the same page before retirement is a crucial first step, rather than just assuming you are seeing things alike. It could have a big effect on whether you decide you’re emotionally ready for retirement.

Similarly, travel can be another deal breaker if not talked about ahead of time.

A man I know has always loved to ski. After he and his partner retired, he became obsessed with planning trips to exotic ski destinations. But his partner wasn’t on board, preferring to play tennis and lie on beaches in warm climates. Their arguments grew more fierce. My turn/your turn didn’t work because they were both unhappy half the time. Finally, they tried separate vacations. Fortunately, that has worked like a charm— for now, anyway.

Had they asked themselves this question ahead of time, had they talked it out calmly when it was still in the future, they would have saved themselves a lot of angst and a near-breakup. They might have come to their separate-vacation solution earlier. Or one or both might have decided that, in fact, they weren’t ready for retirement.

Retirement is wonderful, but it can also be difficult. “Am I ready?” is an emotional journey into yourself, as well as an assessment of your situation. There will be no perfect decision, but you’ll fare better if you consider all of the options carefully.

There is usually some excitement in every new stage of life. After raising kids and working hard and doing the best we can, this is the first time that most of us have had total control over our lives. It can be the best time ever—time to learn a lot about ourself, finally “growing whole” in so many ways. Are you ready for that? 

The 'Aging Checklist':

Several times a year, a client who is caring for an aging parent will confide in me, “I told my kids if I’m ever in that state, they should just shoot me.” The comments are made in jest (usually), but there is a strong element of truth to it. Dealing with an aging family member can be very difficult. It’s hard on the person who is losing control and, oftentimes, even more difficult on their family. While many folks want a quick fix to deal with aging, practically, the best approach is to plan ahead.

According to AARP, 30 million households are providing care for an adult over the age of 50. That number is expected to double over the next 25 years as people continue to live longer. Given these realities, one important consideration I recommend to all my clients approaching retirement is to craft an “Aging Checklist” to complement their retirement and estate plan. This comprehensive checklist can save a tremendous amount of time and headache when caring for a loved one.

The best time to start crafting an “Aging Checklist” is several years before retirement. This type of coordination can be overwhelming and emotionally taxing on the family. Taking small steps over the course of the last few years of one’s career allows for prudent decision making without the pressure of a time crunch.

Below is a list of points to work through with your financial advisor, accountant, attorney and family members to help with the transition process. 

It’s important to note that the above list is just a sample of some issues that many retirees face. Not every issue on this list is applicable to every individual, and, conversely, there are always unique issues facing each family. The key is to work through a checklist with all of your respective advisors and family members, have a conversation about it, and put a written plan in place. At the end of the day, when a loved one prepares their wishes well before they become physically or mentally impaired, it makes aging a much more manageable experience for everyone involved.