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1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
At a recent Christian Camping Conference, I was struck by these verses as the speaker encouraged us with the Word. It was one of those moments that gathered all the fatherhood memories of the past and all the hopes for the future into a singular vision and thought. I realized in that moment that my role as a father to my sons still has some growing up to do. I still need to learn more how to parent my growing teenagers who are nearly men themselves.
So, learning from Paul’s words to the Thessalonians, I hope these words can guide you as well. Paul teaches us how to be a good father in three ways in this verse – encourage, comfort, and urge to live Godly lives.
Encourage
First, I need to be an encourager to my children. It is very easy as a dad to be pushy, critical, and even harsh as we push our kids to reach their full potential. We may do it with good intentions, but it’s not always received that way. As our children learn how to be the men and women God is creating them to be, we need to do a better job at cheering them on in a positive manner, encouraging them to do their best, and celebrating every attempt they make to step beyond their comfort zones into something new. This doesn’t mean we allow our kids to settle for mediocrity or stop seeking to improve at skills. But our words and actions need to be more uplifting, positive, and kingdom-driven, encouraging faithfulness and obedience more than winning. Our kids need to hear our positive voices as they grow and face the hard stuff of life.
Comfort
Watching our children work through the wonderful and awkward years of growing up, we get a front row seat to their struggles and pain. They deal with self-image issues, rejection, physical changes, peer pressure, and many other influences that create uncertainty and woundedness. I am ashamed to admit that I can sometimes be numb or unsympathetic to these realities - the phrases “toughen up” or “grow up” might even come to mind. I need to be better than that! I can’t let my uncertainty about how to deal with these issues, or perhaps my own woundedness, prohibit me from providing the proper comfort that my children need now. I need to learn to sit with my son, perhaps shed a tear, and acknowledge that life is hard and comes with bumps and bruises. This is what my Heavenly Father does with me, so why shouldn’t I do the same for my children?
Urge
When we encourage and comfort our children, we put ourselves in a good position, as parents, to fulfill this final opportunity – to urge our children to live lives worthy of God! This is our ultimate role as parents. We don’t raise our children to be doctors and lawyers (or camp directors). We raise them to live lives worthy of God, whatever they do! We celebrate the gifts and skills that God gives them, and we help them envision how God might use them for His Kingdom and Glory! We don’t let them settle for something too small or narrow-minded. We can’t let them dream small dreams. Because we know that God can use them to change the world for His sake! Sometimes this means having hard conversations, but as we watch our children develop dreams and passions for the future, it is such a blessing to walk alongside them, casting the vision for God’s bigger and better plans for them.
So I encourage you, as I have been, to consider how you can encourage, comfort, and urge God’s children in new ways to live into the fullness and the wonder of God’s Kingdom!
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